tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3702456622216857862024-02-18T17:44:34.816-08:00The Critical OrderThe Critical Order is a site that's an amalgamation of all sorts of reviews. You'll see video games, you'll see movies,comics, theatre, whatever that's new that I am able to see. Regardless, I respect all opinions, so please respect mine. If you have a suggestion for something to review, please post in the comments!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.comBlogger343125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-10447597218074787432018-02-04T07:30:00.000-08:002018-02-04T07:30:30.286-08:00Winchester Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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How did they get Helen Mirren for this???<br />
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Before we officially get started, the Reader's Choice poll is now open for deciding which movie I'm going to review on March 25th. The three options are <i>Pacific Rim: Uprising, Isle of Dogs, </i>and <i>Mary and the Witch's Flower</i>. In order to vote in this poll, you need to be a Patron for the Critical Order. <a href="https://www.patreon.com/thecriticalorder">The link to my Patreon is right here</a> and all you need to do is donate $1 to get instant access to voting, as well as reviews a day earlier on Sundays instead of Mondays now. Give it a look, donate, vote, and enjoy the review.<br />
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Welcome one and all to 2018! It's still cold outside, <i>The Shape of Water </i>has a ton of Oscar nominations, and January horror movies are still awful. This year we've had the pleasure of a new <i>Insidious </i>movie and... that's it. I honestly expected there to be more January horror movies because those are always some of the best worst ways to start off the new year. Hell, <i>The Bye Bye Man </i>was last January's horror shlock, and even though I saw it a couple of months late, it still filled the void of disposable, not scary in the slightest, entertainment.<br />
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<i>Winchester </i>may have released in February (barely), but make no mistake, it's a January horror movie through and through. It has cheap scares, jump scares, it's short as hell, and almost entirely forgettable. No jokes, I saw <i>Winchester </i>yesterday and I was struggling to remember if I saw it 10 hours later. That takes some real effort to be that forgettable.<br />
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Our story is actually based on a true story, and not in the way where most horror movies claim they're "based on a true story", but really not at all. <i>Winchester </i>details the late life of Sarah Winchester, a woman who inherited the Winchester Repeating Arms Company from her dead husband. The company mostly sold guns, and Sarah Winchester was convinced that she was being haunted by the spirits of everyone that her guns killed and that they were the reason that her husband died. Keep in mind that the Winchester was the preferred rifle of the Union int he Civil War, and you've got a lot of dead souls. So in order to appease the spirits and hide form them, she commissioned the Winchester House to be built in California, a massive seven story building under constant construction to confuse the spirits chasing her down and give herself some peace of mind. She eventually died in 1922 and the estate was turned into a tourist attraction and is now known as one of the most haunted houses in America.<br />
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It's actually kind of a brilliant premise for a horror movie. A woman who believes that she is being haunted by ghosts is compelled to escape them with an elaborate house while constantly communing with them for advice on how to build the house. It had all of the potential to be a slower more psychological horror movie like <i>The Babadook </i>or <i>The Haunting</i>, but instead everything went down the drain.<br />
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The movie actually doesn't revolve around Sarah Winchester, but instead a psychologist who's been invited by the company to psychoanalyze her and determine if she's really crazy or just an eccentric Helen Mirren. Nearly everything about this movie centers around this man coming to the Winchester House and "discovering" himself. He comes to grips with his wife's death, drug addiction, and not believing in ghost. Oh, and ghosts are real. They pop up all the time to scare him because, according to Sarah, he has the special ability to see dead people because he died and wow this premise got so dumb so fast.<br />
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Let's get the good out of the way. Helen Mirren is giving such a great performance here. I have no idea what strings were pulled to get Oscar winning Helen Mirren into a movie like this, but she still gives it her all. She sounds perfect, acts the part, and can make you believe in ghosts without ever having to see one jump out with a music sting. Jason Clarke is also fine as the psychologist, but his character is written so poorly that you won't be invested in a single thing he does.<br />
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Everything else? I wouldn't call the rest of the movie awful, but I would easily call it unambitious. It had such a great premise for a solid horror movie, and it took to easiest and the safest way out. Ghosts will pop around, they have scary makeup on, and the movie loves to pull the trick where a character will look at one spot, turn away, look back, turn away, then ZOMG A SCARY GHOST WITH A NOISE AAAAAAHHHHHHH. This happens in nearly every scene.<br />
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Other standard horror tropes pop up like a possessed kid, a super powered ghost that causes an earthquake, talks of demons, characters no one gives a damn about, and unitentionally hilarious moments. My favorite is when Helen Mirren calls for the little kid only for him to shoot a shotgun at her. Dumb? Yes. Funny? Oh you better believe it.<br />
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But at the end of the day, <i>Winchester</i>'s greatest sin is that it's just dull. You could have done so much with this premise, and the directors took literally the safest route possible with it. No clever scenes, no interesting scares, so special message about the nature of grief and guilt, just a movie about a creepy old house with creepy ghosts. This was one of the most boring horror movies I've seen in years. It's not even hilariously awful as <i>The Bye Bye Man</i>, it's just too serious and too morose for its own good.<br />
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I guess it is technically proficient and there's nothing really awful about it, but is that really the bar we're aiming for? It functions, yes, but when a horror movie is too dull to even scare me once, it's just a waste. <i>Winchester </i>only runs at 99 minutes, so at least it's a short sit, but not even Helen Mirren could save this movie from being about as lifeless as the actual ghosts in it. Except that might be insulting the dead, so I'll just say this movie sucks.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-88253892316277341082018-01-28T12:38:00.001-08:002018-01-28T12:38:12.077-08:00One Piece: Unlimited Retrospective - East Blue Pt. 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Who wants some fish racism?<br />
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Need to catch up on the Unlimited Retrospective so far? Here are all of the previous parts to read!<br />
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<a href="http://thecriticalorder.blogspot.com/2016/09/one-piece-unlimited-retrospective.html" target="_blank">Introduction</a><br />
<a href="http://thecriticalorder.blogspot.com/2016/09/one-piece-unlimited-retrospective_3.html" target="_blank">Romance Dawn</a><br />
<a href="http://thecriticalorder.blogspot.com/2016/12/one-piece-unlimited-retrospective.html" target="_blank">East Blue Part 1</a><br />
<a href="http://thecriticalorder.blogspot.com/2017/09/one-piece-unlimited-retrospective-east.html">East Blue Part 2</a><br />
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With Sanji now a crew member, Zolo near dead, and Nami turned traitor, the beginning of the Arlong Park Arc takes the crew to a new place, and not just geographically. The crew has become scattered and are trying to accomplish one goal, albeit in very different ways; get Nami back. This won't be the last time that the crew splits itself up to accomplish a task, but this was the first time there were legitimate stakes involved.<br />
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Up until this point in the manga, we've had a few enemies that gave the crew trouble, but they weren't really a legitimate threat. Oh sure, they may have throw a few good punches in and definitely may have caused some mayhem, but once Luffy got involved the war was pretty much over. Arlong, as we'll come to know, was the strongest person that lived in the East Blue. He had the highest bounty and could manipulate the Navy to ignore his actions. He had a formidable crew, a criminal empire that wasn't in rags, and for all intents and purposes went unchallenged in his reign of terror. Now it's still the early volumes of the series, so the threat level is still moderately low, but we'll come to know why this arc in particular has influenced the series for better and for worse.<br />
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So with Luffy and Sanji on their way to Arlong Park, they decide to ask Yosaku just who exactly is Arlong. Yosaku explains pretty clearly that Arlong is the strongest person in the East Blue and is a person that is definitely not someone Luffy should meet, but a curious thing about Arlong is the fact that he has a brother Jimbei... who is a Warlord of the Sea. So no matter how tough Arlong is, he's nowhere near as strong as his brother. Adding on to that, Yosaku tells them that he was pretty certain that Nami was heading to Arlong Park anyway based on how she was eyeing a wanted poster for Arlong right before she stole the Merry Go. Speaking off, she did indeed take the Merry Go to Arlong Park and waltzed right up to his door. A little boy was waiting outside, but Nami slaps the kid across the face before entering Arlong Park, reveling herself to be a crew member for the Arlong Pirates!<br />
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So yeah, Nami was a traitor. From the very beginning, she was planning on betraying the Straw Hats and sailing off to Arlong Park with their treasures and ship. That's pretty damned cold of her, especially given how sudden it was. I mean it is true that they haven't really been a crew for a long time (and I would argue the betrayal would have been better if it was executed later (which it will be)), but the twist is still a pretty damned good one. The bright, bubbly, sassy, and greedy Nami... is a bad guy.<br />
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As for Arlong and his crew, they're from a race of people known as Fishmen. Like the name implies, they've half fish and half human, embodying the best characteristics of both. A Merman can be of any oceanic species, like shark, octopus, starfish, manta ray, etc. and typically have incredible movement speed in water, super strength, and special abilities based on their species. They've incredibly powerful, and yet they are the subject of deep racism in the One Piece universe. They're seen literally as subhuman and are sold at auctions to be used as slaves or pets. The World Government itself doesn't even recognize Fishmen as actual people going so far as to allow these slave auctions to take place, just under the table. Fishmen go through same truly terrible things over the course of the series, but how does Arlong react to all of this? Well he's racist right back at the humans.<br />
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To talk about Arlong's past would be to spoil a lot of the series and the tragedy of Fishman Island, but his upbringing pretty much cemented that if humans treated him and other Fishmen like garbage, why should he treat them with any respect? It's one of the main reasons why he became a pirate and when he finally got a chance to become a captain of his own crew, he instilled plenty of anti human rhetoric in his empire. It's a bit tragic in a sense that Arlong became the monster that he was through how humans abused and subjugated him and you can kind of sympathize with him, but does his upbringing as a victim of racism justify his racist attitudes? He bases his racism off of physical capabilities and gladly uses his own abilities to demonstrate that. He'll kill any human that dares to oppose him, or at the very least destroy an entire village if even a single person tries to fight him. Plus with the local Navy branches being bought out by Arlong, any chances of rebellions will end in Arlong destroying everything you hold dear with no hope of help or justice. Arlong is the tyrant and all humans that oppose him will die. But then that raises an interesting question; if Arlong is so disgusted and intolerant of humans, why is Nami a crew member?<br />
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We'll get back to that in a minute, but for now we have more pressing issues; Usopp being a coward! Him, Zolo, and Johnny arrive at Arlong Park, but after encountering a two Fishmen, Usopp and Johnny abandon ship and leave Zolo to deal with the Fishmen alone. The only problem is that Zolo just got out of a massive battle against Mihawk and can barely hold himself, so he gets captured by the Arlong Pirates. Good job Usopp. Really pulling your weight so far...<br />
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Usopp and Johnny arrive at a tiny little village named Gosa Village only to find out that every house in the village has been smashed upside down. The town is uninhabitable and is a complete wreck. One of the Fishmen from earlier chases down Usopp and just as when Usopp is ready to fight them, a woman suddenly appears and knocks him out. Usopp wakes up a few hours later in a nice house owned by the woman who kicked him. When Usopp asks who she is, she tells him that her name's Nojiko and she's Nami's sister and tells Usopp about Nami's position in Arlong's crew.<br />
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Back at Arlong Park, Zolo is brought in by the Fishmen to Arlong and he discovers right there that Nami was a traitor. Zolo doesn't really seem all that effected by it, but Arlong relishes in pointing out that Nami was a traitor and that she would be willing to betray anyone and anything to get what she wants. Nami doesn't even try to deny what he says, she just goes with it. Zolo, being the man that he is, tests Nami's commitment to the Straw Hats by throwing himself into the ocean (Arlong tied him up so that he couldn't escape or swim away). As soon as that happens, Nami instinctively jumps into the water to save Zolo. As soon as she does, Zolo correctly points out that if she didn't care about the Straw Hats, he would have let him drown. He's a no name bounty hunter that just appeared at Arlong Park. Arlong wouldn't care if he lived or died there, he probably would have tortured him for fun and killed him later. As soon as she realizes what she did, Nami beats Zolo to prove to Arlong that she's still dedicated to the Fishmen and not the Straw Hats.<br />
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I'm just going to bring this up now because it's going to be a common trope in these big arcs, but there's going to be a lot of splitting up in <i>One Piece</i>. Several characters will run off and accomplish a few tasks, or meet a new character, then everyone comes together for the big fight at the end. It's not bad per se, but it's mileage comes from the other characters of the arc. If the characters that the Straw Hat crew interacts with are memorable and can pose a threat, then it's fine. In other arcs, it just comes across as padding. Some future arcs will introduce so many villains and heroes that the series thinks its interesting because of all of the new faces, but we can't connect or acknowledge the importance of them. It's like eating at a buffet; sure, there are a lot of options available, but you're only going to gravitate to the food that you're familiar with or know that you're going to like.<br />
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Oh yeah, Luffy, Sanji, and Yosaku encounter a giant sea cow and beat the crap out of him. I wished that it wasn't important, but it will be later on.<br />
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Arlong travels to a small village near Arlong Park called Coco Village in order to take care of a few errands. Arlong tyrannical rule has allowed him to put several laws into effect, two of which being that no villager is allowed to carry a weapon and that every village under his control needs to pay a fee to survive. If a village doesn't pay a fee, they end up like Gosa Village; annihilated. Arlong meets up with the sheriff of Coco Village, Genzo, to take his new sword. Genzo resists Arlong as Nojiko and Usopp watch. Usopp, unable to keep watching as Arlong is about to kill Genzo for disobeying his rule, takes a slingshot and shoots it right at Arlong. Arlong sees this, Usopp flees, and Arlong goes berserk to try and kill Usopp and destroy Coco Village. Arlong's crew try to restrain him, saying that Arlong can't go and destroy another village or else they'll lose even more money from the monthly tax. Arlong retreats, but just as he leaves, Nami appears. Every in Coco Village gives her the cold shoulder except for Genzo and Nojiko. The three of them then meets in private at a grave site as Nami tells them that she only needs a little more money to buy Coco Village from Arlong.<br />
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While Arlong is out, Zolo breaks free from Arlong's crew and beats all of them within an inch of their lives. One of Arlong's lieutenants, Hachi, is outside the gate to Arlong Park and doesn't see the massacre. Zolo asks Hachi if he can give him a ride to the nearest village. Because Hachi is a good natured idiot who thinks that Zolo is a part of the corrupt Navy branch that oversees Arlong Park, decides to take Zolo to Coco Village. Arlong returns to Arlong Park to see that a ton of his crew mates are dead... and he is pissed. With Usopp captured by the Fishmen after he ran away, Arlong is ready to kill Usopp, but Nami returns and opts to kill Usopp herself. She says that she wants to prove her loyalty to Arlong after everything that's happened so far, to which Arlong says "Eh, do what you want." Usopp tries to flee with a smoke bomb, but Nami runs up to him and stabs him in the stomach, saying that it was nothing personal. She pushes him into the sea to drown and is welcomed back by the Arlong Pirates as one of their crew members, all while Johnny watches in horror.<br />
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Luffy, Sanji, and Yosaku finally arrive at Coco Village and meet up with Zolo as Johnny runs up and tells about Usopp's death. They're a bit taken back by Usopp's murder, but Luffy isn't buying it. Nami shows up yet again (seriously, she gets around a ton in this arc) and tells Luffy that she quits the crew. Luffy says screw that and says that Nami's still a Straw Hat. Nami tells Luffy to get off of the island and to leave her alone, but Luffy still won't do that. She storms off and Johnny and Yosaku head off too, not wanting to be included in this Fishman situation. As soon as they leave though, we cut to Usopp walking around, alive and well. When he was stabbed by Nami, she actually stabbed her own hand and pushed him into the ocean to escape. No matter what, she's still loyal to Luffy, or at the very least wants them to get as far away from Arlong as possible. Usopp meets up with the crew afterwards and tells them about how Nami saved his life since he almost certainly would have been killed by Arlong if he lived. It's at that point that Nojiko comes and decides to tell them about Nami's past and why she works for Arlong.<br />
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Nami and Nojiko were adopted by a former sailor named Bell-Mere. Bell-Mere rescued them while she was out at see and raised them as her own daughters. She was rough and coarse, but she always looked out for them, same as everyone in the village. Genzo in particular was very friendly to Bell-Mere and her family, going so far as to put a pinwheel on his hat to make Nami not afraid of him when she was a baby that he still keeps on to this day. A few years later, Arlong invades to island and puts up his tax. 100,000 berries per adult, 50,000 per child. The members of Arlong's pirates round up the birth records of the town and forces everyone to pay. Unfortunately, Bell-Mere only has 100,000 berries and needs double that in order to keep her family alive. She tells Nami and Nojiko to hide when Arlong comes to their house since there are no official birth or adoption records for them, so for all that Arlong knows, Bell-Mere lives alone. However, Bell-Mere can't bear to say that she has no family, so when Arlong asks if the money is for her, she says that it's actually for her two daughters. Nami and Nojiko come running out to her in tears. Arlong, being the fair and reasonable guy that he is, kills Bell-Mere for not being able to pay the 100,000 for herself and takes Nami away.<br />
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While growing up, Nami was an fantastic cartographer, someone who could draw sea charts. Her skills were readily apparent and Hachi found plethora of drawings in her house that she drew for fun. Arlong decides to make a deal with Nami. If Nami joined her crew and drew sea charts for him, he would allow Nami to buy back Coco Village for 100,000,000 berries. Just to put that in perspective, Nami has been working for Arlong for about a decade and she is just now getting close to the 100,000,000 mark. She tells Nojiko about this immediately, and Nojiko feels betrayed at first, but understands that Nami did what she thinks was right.<br />
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But because life is cruel and unfair, as soon as Nojiko tells this story, the Navy arrives and requests to see Nami. Nami, who went to Bell-Mere's house to rest, is told by the head captain, Nezumi, that she has been accused of stealing illegal money from across the East Blue. Genzo denies this claim for Nami and tells the Navy that the money that Nami has been saving up is meant to buy the town back from Arlong, confirming to Nami that everyone in the town knew what Nami was trying to do for them. Nezumi doesn't care and orders his sailors to enter Bell-Mere's tangerine grove to find the money. The Navy gets the money and shoot Nojiko in the arm for interfering when Nami suddenly has a thought. How did the Navy know about the money? Not only that, but why would the Navy show up now when Arlong has been paying them off for years? Nami rushes to Arlong and accuses him of breaking their deal and that Arlong stole all of the money that Nami has been saving up. Arlong counters that by saying that he never broke the deal. The Navy just so happened to hear about someone stealing from others and just so happened to get an anonymous tip about it. Arlong tells her that if all of her money is gone, then she'll just have to start saving up again from scratch. Nami is broken by this and runs away.<br />
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Back in the village, Genzo rallies the villagers and tells them that Arlong's tyranny has come to an end and they're going to fight him. Nami reaches the village and tries to convince them as badly as possible that everything is okay and she'll just start saving up again, but everyone's mind is made up. If Genzo and the villagers have been barely clinging to life up until this point, they'd rather die than live another day under Arlong's rule. They charge off to Arlong Park as Nami stabs the Arlong Pirate tattoo on her arm repeatedly. As she does so, Luffy grabs her hand and all Nami can do is ask him for help as tears stream down her face. Luffy agrees, and the rest of the Straw Hats walk off to Arlong Park like badasses.<br />
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So you may have noticed that most of this arc isn't really about the Straw Hats. So far, most of the story has centered around Arlong and Nami's backstory. That's because there are usually two types of arcs in <i>One Piece</i>. You have these big, character focused arcs where everything is centered on developing a character's backstory, or you have the arc where a lot of things explode and Devil Fruit powers are on full display. There are a few instances where these two styles mix, but they're usually pretty separated. For my money, the backstory arcs are almost always the best arcs in the series.<br />
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Nami's backstory is tragic and by the time we get to the fight at Arlong Park, we don't need a reason to hate Arlong. He's done enough evil and reprehensible things already for us to want to see him get taken down. Murder, bribery, extortion, destruction, lying, racism, Arlong has everything you could want in a villain and he's probably one of the best villains that the series has ever produced. Plus there are extra props for taken Nami, a character that we've gotten to know over several arcs, and changing her character completely in a natural way. Oh sure, she's going to go back to normal after this, but it's still shocking to see for the first time Nami betray the crew and pretend to stab Usopp.<br />
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So let's talk about how 4Kids ruined this, shall we?<br />
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I love to talk about the first dub changes because some of them are just so baffling to the point where it ruins the original purpose of the manga. Cramming two episodes into one isn't a major change for the dub as well as calling the Fishmen "Mermen", but the biggest changes just ruin some of the best character moments. For example, the scene where Bell-Mere is murdered right in front of Nami and Nojiko's eyes? Yeah, she was taken away and never seen again in the dub. No death, just... poof! She's gone. Even as a kid I knew that she was dead, but we can't have death happen in a kids show! Arlong's racism still exists, but instead of talking about humans are inferior to Fishmen genetically, he hates humans because they stink. Like, he literally calls them "P.U.mans". Way to lose all of the seriousness of the show 4Kids. Oh, and all of the Fishmen have a weird gurgling sound effect whenever they speak. These changes aren't as laughable as the Don Krieg stuff, but this is just ridiculous. I can get wanting to shorten stuff and reduce filler, but making it harder to understand what characters are saying is not a good edit to make!<br />
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So here we are. Arlong Park. The Straw Hats versus the Arlong Pirates. The stakes have never been as high as this before, and the actually fight is... okay. I mean, the fight against Luffy and Arlong is pretty spectacular, but the stuff prior to it, like Zolo, Sanji, and Usopp fighting the grunts is pretty unremarkable. It's at least somewhat interesting for Usopp, since his fight against one of Arlong's lieutenants is the first time he actually won in a one-on-one fight, but even then, the fights are okay. The only important moment of the fight is that Luffy gets taken out of commission by Arlong after Luffy smashes his feet into the ground and gets stuck, letting Arlong throw him into the sea. Sanji and Genzo try to revive him while Zolo holds off Arlong, but Arlong makes short work of him and is frankly horrified at the massive, bleeding, and festering wound from Mihawk that Zolo ripped open during their fight. If Arlong takes a step back by how ugly a wound is, that's saying something. I wish I could provide more details about the fights, and I will once we get further into the series, but for now, the only really important moments are that Johnny and Yosaku stop the villagers from fighting Arlong and Luffy and Arlong really go at it.<br />
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Arlong uses his shark powers to fight Luffy in a variety of ways, like ripping his teeth out to crush Luffy, using his sharp nose as a sword, taking out a literal sword to smash Luffy, and going manic and gaining super strength. The fight eventually goes up to the top of Arlong Park where Nami's cartography room is. Arlong brags to Luffy about how Nami is a tool that he will use forever and that she'll never be free. Luffy just asks if Nami was stuck in this room to draw maps. When Arlong gloats and says yes, Luffy destroys all of the maps and throws everything out the window. Nami watches in awe at how Luffy is destroying everything that ever made her miserable while working for Arlong. Arlong becomes even more furious and attempts to land the killing blow to Luffy, but Luffy hits him so hard that Arlong levels the entire six story building in his fall, bending Arlong's proud nose, defeating him. Everyone thinks that Luffy died in the impact, only for him to rise out of the wreckage and yells that Nami is is friend. Arlong has been beaten and Coco Village has been saved. The villagers run off to tell the island that Arlong has been beaten and that they can live in peace. Or they could have until Nezumi reappears.<br />
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See, now that Arlong is gone and that he's been paying off the Navy, now it's time for him to collect the bounty on Arlong and take all of the Arlong Pirate's treasure for himself. The Straw Hats beat him up pretty effortlessly, with Nezumi escaping to inform the world that Straw Hat Luffy defeated Arlong and that now Luffy is a wanted man. The rest of the arc plays out like a big celebration. Coco Village is saved, Nami and Nojiko visit Bell-Mere's grave and pay their respects, Genzo leaves his pinwheel hat at Bell-Mere's grave saying that Nami has become a fine woman and that she now has a reason to smile and laugh. Luffy promises Genzo that he'll protect Nami, Nami replaces her Arlong tattoo with a tangerine and pinwheel tattoo as the crew sail off to the Grand Line.<br />
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Are we done with the East Blue yet? Hell no! Now we have Loguetown to deal with! Thankfully it's one of the shortest arcs in the series, so I'm going to blaze through it since not much really occurs, but there's a lot of set up.<br />
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Before the crew makes it to the Grand Line, they decide to stock up at a town called Loguetown for supplies. In order for them to actually sail into the Grand Line, they need to sail up a mountain that leads to the Grand Line because sailing directly into it will cause a bunch of seas monsters called Neptunians to attack. Think of the Grand Line as being the Equator. It runs along the middle of the planet horizontally with a giant mountain running across the planet vertically. If you try and go into the Grand Line from anywhere others than the mountain, called Reverse Mountain, you're going to have to deal with the Neptunians. So stocking up it is so that they can sail up Reverse Mountain.<br />
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Everyone goes their separate ways while shopping with Sanji getting food, Nami getting close, Usopp getting gear, and Zolo and Luffy having their own adventures. During the fights against Mihawk, Zolo lost two of his swords and is in need of replacements. He has no money, but he still goes into a blacksmith's shop to buy swords. The shopkeeper directs him to the cheapest swords. Zolo runs into a woman named Tashigi, who is a sword fanatic, and exclaims that the sword that Zolo found is one of the rarest swords in existence. She's shocked that it's on sale for 50,000 berries and when she asks the shopkeeper why the sword is so cheap, Zolo tells her that it's cursed. The shopkeeper confirms this and that the sword has caused the death of anyone who's ever owned it. One would think tat it probably wouldn't be the best idea to sell a cursed sword for such a low price, but that's why I'm not in business. Zolo tests the sword's legacy out by throwing it in the air and sticking his arm out. If it cuts his arm off, he wasn't meant to have it. If it doesn't, he'll take it. He survives, so the shopkeeper gives him the shop's rarest sword for free since he never saw a man do something as reckless and shocking as what Zolo did. He takes the sword and walks out leaving Tashigi behind.<br />
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Meanwhile, Luffy explores Loguetown and makes a beeline for the town square. Why? Because Loguetown was actually the town where Gold Roger was executed and his scaffold still stands there. Luffy wants to pay his respects to Roger before leaving. And by paying respects, I mean standing on top of the scaffold and admiring the view from up there. As he stands there, we have a surprise guest appear; Buggy the Clown! And completely reformed no less!<br />
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So here's where things get a bit different between the manga and the anime. In the manga, for the title page of certain chapters, we would get little short stories that detailed what a few characters were up to while we weren't following the main crew. For example, we got a short series where we followed Coby and Helmeppo after they joined the Navy and became chore boys under a Vice-Admiral. In the case of Buggy, we saw him try and survive on his own, reform his body and crew, and meet up with a beautiful woman that joined his crew. It turns out that the woman was Alvida from the second chapter, who at the Slip-Slip fruit and made her body slippery. I don't know how that equates to losing 300 pounds, but kudos for getting in shape Alivda!<br />
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So Buggy is able to restrain Luffy and execute him the exact same way that Roger was executed. As Buggy gets ready to land the killing blow, all Luffy can do is give out a dumb smile and say that at least he had a fun time on his adventure. As Buggy is ready to slash, a bolt of lightning comes from the sky and hits Buggy directly, stopping the execution. All of the bystanders watching think that it has to be some intervention from God, but one person is not impressed by it. This man is Captain Smoker of the Navy.<br />
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Smoker is a unique character in the Navy. While Smoker definitely isn't a nice guy, he's more or less Luffy's rival. He's very strong and wields the Smoke-Smoke fruit, a devil fruit that can turn him into smoke, and he has a habit of chomping cigars and being incredibly disciplined with his subordinates, his primary assistant being Tashigi. Tashigi is a fully capable swordswoman and has earned the respect of her subordinates for her skills. I'd like to stress that Smoker is not a villain in the traditional sense and is more in line with how the Navy should be portrayed after seeing the corrupt Nezumi and the megalomaniacal Morgan. He doesn't look like a nice guy, but he's actually pretty caring. A little girl is walking past him with an ice cream cone and trips, getting it all over his pants. How does Smoker respond? He apologizes that his pants ate her ice cream and gives her enough money to get an extra scoop on her ice cream cone. That shows way more about his character than him fighting against Luffy or letting his power go to his head.<br />
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Because Luffy had so much attention draw to him, the crew tries to make a hasty escape as a storm suddenly hits Lougetown. Zolo ends up fighting Tashigi, which creates an awkward tension with Zolo and causes him to hold back against Tashigi. Why? Well... it's complicated.<br />
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I never really got into Zolo's backstory before because the placement of it never really seemed that relevant to what was happening. When we had flashbacks to Nami and Sanji, they directly related to what was going on and while Zolo's backstory made sense, I just preferred to talk about it here where there was a direct correlation between his past and his present.<br />
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Anyway, when Zolo was a child, he studied at a dojo and frequently challenged the sensei's daughter Kuina to a duel. Kuina always beat him (2,000 times to be specific) and Zolo became disheartened that he couldn't beat her. He eventually convinced himself that he couldn't beat her because he was using practice swords and not real swords, so he challenged her again with real swords this time. He loses again an is again despondent, but Kuina tells him that he shouldn't be upset. She's convinced herself that Zolo will eventually get stronger than he because she's a girl. She thinks that girl's can't possibly be better than guys and it breaks her heart that she thinks that. Her father convinced her of that and her one dream is to be the greatest swordsman in the world, regardless of gender. So she puts up a cocky attitude to hide her own insecurities. Zolo convinces her that it's not about strength that makes a strong swordsman, but willpower. Kuina takes his words to heart, but she unfortunately trips down a flight of stairs the next day and dies. The worst part? She was going upstairs to get a sharpening stone in order to sharpen her blade from the fight against Zolo. Zolo vows to fight for Kuina from now on and takes her sword with him as a memory of her.<br />
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And it just so happens that Tashigi looks exactly like his dead childhood friend! What a coinky dink!<br />
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So yeah, Zolo argues with Tashigi in the present that he looks like his dead friend, which is never awkward at all. They get into a fight and Zolo easily beats her. Tashigi asks why Zolo spared her and Zolo again tells her that he's not gonna go and kill a woman that looks like his dead friend. Tashigi says that it's not honorable and she deserves to be treated as an equal, but Zolo runs away before they can settle it out.<br />
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Meanwhile, Luffy runs into Smoker, who is able to lay him down damned well. Smoker got word from Navy headquarters that Luffy has a bounty of 30,000,000 berries for his beating Buggy, Kuro, Krieg, and Arlong, and Smoker wants to take him down. Luffy tries to fight him, but Luffy just can't seem to hit Smoker because he can turn to smoke. I forget if I've ever talked about the three kinds of Devil Fruits, but I'll do it here. In the world of <i>One Piece</i>, if you eat a Devil Fruit, you can get one of three different powers. You can have a Zoan power, which allow you to change into an animal like an ox or a bird, a Paramecia power, which allows you to modify your body in some way like being able to stretch it or cut it up, or you could get a Logia power, the deadliest of all. Being a Logia user means that you can literally transform you body into incorporeal energy as reform whenever you want. You can become living fire, or in the case of Smoker, turn yourself into smoke. So Smoke beats Luffy down pretty easily since Luffy can't even hit the guy, but before Luffy is dealt the killing blow again, Smoker is stopped by a mysterious man in a coat; Dragon.<br />
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Dragon is an enigma to say the least. It's been nearly 20 years of the manga and we know next to nothing about him. Smoker refers to him here as the most dangerous man in the world and Dragon is able to use a gust of wind to send Luffy back to his ship. Does that mean that Dragon can control the wind? No idea! Smoker just questions Dragon why he saved Luffy and Dragon just says cryptically that he needs to follow his own path.<br />
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So Luffy is able to return to the Merry Go and the Straw Hat Pirates begin to sail to Reverse Mountain, each of which claiming their goals. Nami wants to draw a map of the world, Sanji wants to find the All Blue, Usopp wants to stop being the worst character in the series, Zolo wants to be the world's greatest swordsman, and Luffy wants to be King of the Pirates. And with that, they sail up Reverse Mountain and enter the Grand Line.<br />
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So... yeah, that was about a solid 35 paragraphs just to talk about fish racism and a guy made of smoke. Yeesh. In all seriousness, the entirety of the East Blue Saga is dedicated just to establishing our main crew and getting to know them. Each of the major arcs, Orange Town, Syrup Village, the Baratie, and Arlong Park, are all focused on a different crew member and what makes them tick. Nami has the best introduction out of all of the crew with how emotional and sad it can get. Sanji comes in a close second for most tragic backstory, but we didn't get to spend as much time with him as we did with Nami before her betrayal. Usopp is just along for the ride and will just get slow, incremental improvements to his character, while Zolo and Luffy really don't change much over the course of the series. They're pretty much the same characters from the beginning of the series until the right now. That's not really a bad thing mind you because their characterization is just so damn enjoyable.<br />
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The villains, for the most part, are pretty meh. Buggy is a decent comic relief villain, but he won't be all that important until much later on in the series, while Krieg and Kuro had interesting premises, they both are forgotten as quickly as they appeared. The only villain that truly excelled in the first arc was Arlong, and I've already spent a small eternity detailing why his brand of evil was so complex and fascinating. I don't know whether or not it's a good thing that we got a villain as good as him as early as we did. Truth be told, it's going to be a little bit before we get another villain like Arlong.<br />
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So with the East Blue Saga concluded, now we can finally reach the Grand Line and the adventures that lie in store for the Straw Hat Crew. Coming up next in the Baroque Works Saga, we'll have talking reindeer, a living candle, a doctor that lives in a whale, a civil war for a super weapon, and the crew's war against one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-28803357106333823132018-01-14T12:54:00.001-08:002018-01-14T12:56:45.574-08:00The Top 10 Best Movies of 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtD9_tpBW2J4wRTEkjQD-llliByFWahVcyTq7wdrxAj0s_a3LVPe4k0TgYyTOzi3M3fr87neM_CTiYZr7Fh8w8rW3mTDe4Qq5TCuJP5tGZ066fUlwxkxE-egcrW8h7oNS_fa0MmS1TDv_o/s1600/movies_cms.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="439" data-original-width="702" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtD9_tpBW2J4wRTEkjQD-llliByFWahVcyTq7wdrxAj0s_a3LVPe4k0TgYyTOzi3M3fr87neM_CTiYZr7Fh8w8rW3mTDe4Qq5TCuJP5tGZ066fUlwxkxE-egcrW8h7oNS_fa0MmS1TDv_o/s640/movies_cms.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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The best of the best in a pretty fantastic year.<br />
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Now that we've reached the end of my year in review, I think that now I can safely say that 2017 was a year where filmgoers became more aware of the movies they were watching and the people making them. While film companies languished over Rotten Tomatoes and how it was killing off movie revenues for their movies, viewers actually just started to care about the movies they were seeing. They weren't going to go see garbage movies, so when a movie did well at the box office or critically, that movie wouldn't leave the culture's frame of mind. Movies like <i>Thor: Ragnarok, Get Out, Wonder Woman, Star Wars, </i>and <i>It </i>were massive successes this year and were all pretty decent movies.<br />
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People also started to care immensely about the sexual harassment and culture of oppression going on in Hollywood. Personally, I think that a huge majority of celebrities are pretty self congratulatory about fighting a corrupt system that they themselves have corrupted and have known about for decades, but movie goers voted with their wallets. They supported the people that they believed were right and protested against the villains and sexual predators in Hollywood. To make a long story short, activism cam barreling into the film discussion yet again, but this time it's way more complicated than before.<br />
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If it sounds like I'm trying to sum up a huge situation in a paragraph, it's really because I am. I'm not here to talk about the people behind the best movies of the year or even about the string of controversies coming out of Hollywood. That's never been my job, but I'd be an idiot if I didn't at least mention it before we got started. Because at the end of the day, the movies speak for themselves. Whether a horrible person or a saint was cast in a movie, it still doesn't change the quality of a movie. If you're unable to separate the art from the artist, then you can't enjoy nearly as many movies, games, books, music, or television that you do.<br />
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Wow I really keep on getting off track here. Okay! I saw 34 movies this year, and these are the 10 very best out of an already very good year. I'm here to talk about movies! Movies, movies, movies! Not about Oprah trying to run for president and dear God no I'm talking about politics and the business again! Just go to the honorable mention before I have to talk about Harvey Weinstein!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7igDNhgubsX2DbIi_RykRyAtHRKHLtzLZW0XO7Uxl-3Wu5UyT74AB9uThlRumYuNn-cpmKm7TZmMCmulI0ghIue6KrDnnHa5YvOhHTF0o4_7tdBdGKwQVHi9MewRl2n-FEmJCfh6Ts8zI/s1600/wonder-woman.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="393" data-original-width="700" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7igDNhgubsX2DbIi_RykRyAtHRKHLtzLZW0XO7Uxl-3Wu5UyT74AB9uThlRumYuNn-cpmKm7TZmMCmulI0ghIue6KrDnnHa5YvOhHTF0o4_7tdBdGKwQVHi9MewRl2n-FEmJCfh6Ts8zI/s400/wonder-woman.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HM: <i>Wonder Woman</i></td></tr>
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The best DC movie since <i>The Dark Knight</i>, <i>Wonder Woman </i>was everything that I could have hoped for. It proved that a female led and female directed action block buster could succeed and it completely dissuaded my fears that <i>Ghostbusters </i>would scare off producers from backing female led movies. <i>Wonder Woman </i>is not just a good movie, but it's a historical significant movie in my opinion. It defined the optimism of 2017 and showed people that like Wonder Woman, you can strive to do good just because it's the right thing to do. You don't need any other reason besides that. Good is good, so fight for what's right. It's certainly more interesting than the complicated motivations of the MCU or the drab and dour motivations of the DC Universe.<br />
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The action is great, the No Man's land sequence was truly spectacular, and it felt like I was watching an honest to God hero be a hero. The reason why it's not in my Top 10 has mostly to do with its ending The final third goes full DC and loses its color, introduces a lame villain, has a butt load of CGI, and just lessens the impact of the movie. If the ending was just as good as the first two thirds, it could easily be in my Top 5. But a bad ending, or at least a disappointing ending, is still a problem in a great movie. You could have a fantastic story, but if you can;t stick the landing it can hurt the final product, and that kind of happened for <i>Wonder Woman</i>. Still, it's one of the most talked about movies of 2017 and I think it has to do with its message and its overall quality. Good job Patty Jenkins.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdtX5IhTPACfrjD__NPXTHWCOSmdM_csOlqxVvQ7p9V7BV4P_SchdO2g2FFvWgJ21uQ9n2FoO5FqLXKCu-2kxSztNRn4lqzSXY9TZnZERRTodyExXVEWu726qGtKQCz-Z3MZcHrcp69gIB/s1600/the-disaster-artist-tda-01994_rgb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="870" data-original-width="1600" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdtX5IhTPACfrjD__NPXTHWCOSmdM_csOlqxVvQ7p9V7BV4P_SchdO2g2FFvWgJ21uQ9n2FoO5FqLXKCu-2kxSztNRn4lqzSXY9TZnZERRTodyExXVEWu726qGtKQCz-Z3MZcHrcp69gIB/s400/the-disaster-artist-tda-01994_rgb.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#10: <i>The Disaster Artist</i></td></tr>
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As one of my most anticipated movies of the year, the question wasn't going to be if <i>The Disaster Artist </i>was going to be in my Top 10, but rather where. I'm actually pretty surprised that it ended up as low as it did.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, <i>The Disaster Artist </i>is a phenomenal movie. James Franco is great as Tommy Wiseau and the movie is a great dark comedy as well as a character piece, but there were just other movies that were better. Seeing a behind the scenes version of <i>The Room </i>that is based off of Greg Sestero's novel lends it an air of authenticity, but this is really just James Franco's show. He owns the role and if so good at being Tommy that it's frightening. I loved everything about this movie, and yet it's only just barely getting on my list. That's how good 2017 was.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7Qg92mn4trHQGqRLVeLuSUuCa3WsPd34ZJ_Vw_GNoA4A-5T0Do6QxSYoa0AypwkRYVjFUC8ndXlB9nRGzF1hl7LWwkxnSe6dq0bw5oRSvgC-YvvU4Jm-gW_IYh5YZwgMzju_RwXB3jDcE/s1600/thebabysitterheader-618x368.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="618" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7Qg92mn4trHQGqRLVeLuSUuCa3WsPd34ZJ_Vw_GNoA4A-5T0Do6QxSYoa0AypwkRYVjFUC8ndXlB9nRGzF1hl7LWwkxnSe6dq0bw5oRSvgC-YvvU4Jm-gW_IYh5YZwgMzju_RwXB3jDcE/s400/thebabysitterheader-618x368.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#9: <i>The Babysitter</i></td></tr>
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I don't care of this movie is a steaming pile of trash, it's an entertaining pile of trash.<br />
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<i>The Babysitter </i>was a throwback to 80's slasher movies and movies like <i>Fast Times at Ridgemont High </i>and <i>Ferris Bueller's Day Off </i>that succeeded in all regards. I was laughing my ass off and having a great time watching everything that happens here. It's self aware enough to know that it isn't anything special, but just dumb enough to still pull off some incredibly stupid moments. Seeing how each of our villains gets taken down is great, but the real star of the show is the dialogue between Cole and the high schoolers.<br />
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I never thought that a movie about satanic high schoolers would be so much fun and give way to some of the best jokes of 2017, but here you go. This is the kind of movie where you order in some pizzas, hang out with your friends, and just have a good time. That's exactly what I did and man did this movie impress me with its <i>Evil Dead 2 </i>sense of humor.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsctjBAHTJsUHQCuarMchgOGsO5VlHhzpxh8OXNycW9m0sU4w_S3B0mP5ucchcNPCEud4rvHIeeuj2DN6lNnazLGdNuaPE_sImh-YTFiR4Mq-EaUMJ7q6_eFpegtPcn-rVJ3niNiSF2xqN/s1600/captain_underpants.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="464" data-original-width="825" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsctjBAHTJsUHQCuarMchgOGsO5VlHhzpxh8OXNycW9m0sU4w_S3B0mP5ucchcNPCEud4rvHIeeuj2DN6lNnazLGdNuaPE_sImh-YTFiR4Mq-EaUMJ7q6_eFpegtPcn-rVJ3niNiSF2xqN/s400/captain_underpants.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#8: <i>Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie</i></td></tr>
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I still don't believe that this movie exists. Why in the world did something think to resurrect the <i>Captain Underpants </i>franchise, a franchise that hasn't been relevent since the early 2000's? I don't know who that person was, but they deserve a round of applause for giving us one of the best kids movies of the year.<br />
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Once you get over the fact that you're watching a <i>Captain Underpants </i>movie and you actually have to hear the characters say Captain Underpants about a hundred times, you'll see that the movie has way more heart than you would expect. It understands kids movies in a way that I haven't seen in a while. It makes kids problems seem like legitimate problems and gives everything a goofy edge. Moments that would be insufferable in other movies works here because everything is done in an over-the-top, cartoony way. </div>
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The best way I can describe it is comparing a fart joke in this movie with a fart joke in the <i>Teen Titans Go! </i>movie trailer. When a fart joke happens in the latter, it's long, unpleasant, and doesn't change all that much. It's the same joke for 20 seconds with the characters saying that a fart joke just happened. In <i>Captain Underpants</i>, we get a massive chorus of farts to a song that builds on itself until it reaches a climax of farts. Both are childish, but one is still funny to kids and adults. And that's the best praise I can give <i>Captain Underpants</i>; it can allow adults to feel like kids again and enjoy stupid humor with them. So kudos Dreamworks for making adults actually enjoy <i>Captain Underpants</i>!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#7: <i>Get Out</i></td></tr>
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If <i>Wonder Woman </i>was the feel good and optimistic movie of the year, <i>Get Out </i>was the stark and unpleasant reminder that our world is still kind of garbage. <i>Get Out </i>is a painful and deep look at modern day liberal racism in the guise of a horror movie that managed to become so well received that it may be the first horror movie since <i>Black Swan </i>(if you count <i>Black Swan </i>as a horror movie, if not than <i>The Sixth Sense</i>) to be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. </div>
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<i>Get Out </i>is really one of those movies that's hard to describe accurately. It can mean so many different things to different people, and it's a movie that you just need to see to really understand it all. I can talk it up as much as I want, but none of that will do the movie justice. Find it, sit down, watch it, and you can easily see why this was one of the most unsettling and honest depictions of racism in years. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#6: <i>The Shape of Water</i></td></tr>
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Who would have thought that one of the great cult movie directors and monster makers of our generation would make the best romance of the year? No seriously, who would have thought that a love story between a mute woman and a fish man would be as beautiful as this? </div>
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<i>The Shape of Water </i>is a gorgeous movie to watch. From it's underwater beginning to it's underwater ending, you're mesmerized by what you're watching. It feels like you're watching something really special and it's done with a cast that knocks it out of the park. Sally Hawkins, Doug Jones, Octavia Spencer, Michael Shannon, they're all fantastic here. <i>The Shape of Water </i>is peppered with little tiny moments of beauty that just build constantly until you have something that you're saddened to see end. But it ends on such a perfect note that you don't have any objections to it. </div>
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If I could change one tiny thing about the movie, I would probably want more moments with Sally Hawkins and the fish man just spending time together. Maybe like an extra scene or two of them just living life together to show how much they truly love each other. That's a nitpick to an already fantastic movie though. Get out to the theatres, find it, watch it, and love it. Just be ready for fish sex. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#5: <i>Blade Runner 2049</i></td></tr>
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If you wanted to see the best movie that no one saw, you need to check out <i>Blade Runner 2049</i>. A sequel that arguably is better than the original, <i>Blade Runner 2049 </i>is a movie that commands your attention. Once you get through the first couple of scenes, you're absorbed into the world and forced to see it through Ryan Gosling's eyes. Everything about <i>2049 </i>is spectacular to watch and lets the world come alive in a truly spectacular way. It honestly feels like the world of <i>2049 </i>is more interesting than its plot, but that is not even close to being a slight against the plot. </div>
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The actual story is gripping, deeply personal, and throws the audience for a couple of loops that they never would have seen coming. I was actually surprised watching it and engaged with what I was seeing. I felt like I was being treated like an active participant and not spoon fed information. I noticed things, put ideas together, questioned scenarios, and all of that allowed me to care about about this world and the replicants than I ever did in the original <i>Blade Runner</i>. I don't know how they made a movie better than one of the greatest sci-fi cyberpunk movies ever, but there you go. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjYtNddlbS3GS0AgTtpVH3UVG-VtXSqZqWrJRZOA7DQb4wikhdnUoz1qk9eQIPUXzBsaDm8bSgOn7pLq48ZaQocklTb02bjfBgcKhweE_WyL9_E6mSkO7NQ9QgrOROa9Ewg_oSOjQQZ23t/s1600/it-movie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="982" data-original-width="1600" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjYtNddlbS3GS0AgTtpVH3UVG-VtXSqZqWrJRZOA7DQb4wikhdnUoz1qk9eQIPUXzBsaDm8bSgOn7pLq48ZaQocklTb02bjfBgcKhweE_WyL9_E6mSkO7NQ9QgrOROa9Ewg_oSOjQQZ23t/s400/it-movie.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#4: <i>It</i></td></tr>
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And here's the highest grossing horror movie of all time! I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty skeptical going into <i>It. </i>It's a remake of a Stephen King miniseries with mostly unknown actors and it's based on a massive novel that had a lot of... weird things about it. When I left the theatre after watching <i>It</i>, I was floored. I loved the characters, the scares, and of course, Pennywise. </div>
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It's so rare to see a horror movie succeed as well as <i>It </i>did, but it became the definite version of the story in my opinion. Characters were more focused, the scares were deeply personal, and again, Pennywise is just terrifying. I might think that the Babadook is a more terrifying monster, but Pennywise is just as manipulative and evil as the Babadook could ever be. <i>It </i>did something that few horror movies could do. It became a pop culture phenomenon. </div>
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With word that <i>It Chapter 2 </i>is going to be released in 2019, this duology is probably going to conclude on a fantastic note. If the sequel is just as focused and as polished as this movie, then I think we could have one of the greatest horror stories ever put to film on our hands. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0m3IsCBuXVr4YmMtL4WG_FNvS7TORRSs_ZpXo7lA3tpNuHpdHKyPNIxS6DqYChESFvBQCTwYZy_bewFI0FxU23eBsdUpb8tbUbMzC7rTGG3Znd7aqhPG-Taew1lvZCb2TDyZqfP_o-Hf8/s1600/dunkirk-2017-1200-1200-675-675-crop-000000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0m3IsCBuXVr4YmMtL4WG_FNvS7TORRSs_ZpXo7lA3tpNuHpdHKyPNIxS6DqYChESFvBQCTwYZy_bewFI0FxU23eBsdUpb8tbUbMzC7rTGG3Znd7aqhPG-Taew1lvZCb2TDyZqfP_o-Hf8/s400/dunkirk-2017-1200-1200-675-675-crop-000000.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#3: <i>Dunkirk</i></td></tr>
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I had a hard time placing my Top 3 movies of the year. There always comes a certain point in a Top 10 list where it just comes down to how I feel on a particular day about a movie, but <i>Dunkirk </i>embodied one of the three things I look for in a movie; technical proficciency. </div>
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<i>Dunkirk, </i>more than any other movie this year, is an experience. You're able to watch the struggles on soldiers on the beaches of Dunkirk, British citizens rush to save them, and pilots try to defend them all in the span of an hour and a half. It's not perfect with its multiple time periods, but the story and continuity hardly matters in this case. <i>Dunkirk </i>wants you to empathize with its characters, and it does so through it's cinematography, it's sound design, and it's sets. </div>
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War movies tyically aren't all that interesting to me unless the subject that they're covering is noteworthy enough. Dunkirk was a major historical moment with a lot of tension, fear, and horror that resulted in a monumental defeat for the British, and all of those feelings are put forward here. It's an oppressive movie to sit through and I mean that in all of the best ways. If I could go back and watch <i>Dunkirk </i>in IMAX, I would. This is what movies can be. They can tell stories solely through their visuals and I can't think of a better example of that this year than <i>Dunkirk</i>. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#2: <i>Logan</i></td></tr>
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<i>Logan </i>has the single best story of the year. The fact that I was able to care so deeply for Wolverine, Professor X, and X-23 by the end of this movie as someone who cares very little for the course material is nothing short of a miracle. Logan goes through such a painful journey in a painful world and brings us along for the ride. </div>
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I know that a lot of people jokingly say that this is just a movie version of <i>The Last of Us</i>, but that should never be considered a bad thing. Both that game and this movie are championed for their stories and it's easy to see what makes them work so well. Not only is this a movie about surviving in a world that's out to get you, but it has Logan and Professor X reflect on their lives and the people who they were and became. There's a lot of introspection here, way more so than what I would have expected out a superhero movie this year. </div>
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If you ever hear someone say that superhero movies can't be emotionally compelling or tell a satisfying story, show them <i>Logan</i>. Not only will they be moved by it, but they'll also be impressed with its absolutely brutal action. The action here is ultra violent and gives the movie it's R rating without question. The action is nuts, but I can't say that any other movie this year had as good hand to hand combat or blockbuster action than <i>Logan</i>. And for the longest time, I was ready to put <i>Logan </i>as my favorite movie of the year, a testament to its excellence. But then, I rewatched what would eventually be my #1 movie and gave the slightest edge to it. That movie is...</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#1: <i>Baby Driver</i></td></tr>
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Edgar Wright strikes again!</div>
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With a simple premise, Edgar Wright is able to make a movie that just feels like a rush of adrenaline to the system. On the surface, <i>Baby Driver </i>is a simple heist movie about a young man that's trying to get out of the getaway car driver business and has to go through one last chase, but everything else about it is just classic Edgar Wright. </div>
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The character interactions, the shots, the jokes, the action, everything about <i>Baby Driver </i>just fits together perfectly. There are these little blink and you'll miss them moments that may seem superficial on the surface but say so much about the character saying them. Even when nothing is being said, the car chases are some of the most exhilarating car chases I've seen in years. The stunts are outstanding and everything just builds up to an explosive and great ending. </div>
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But the real star of the movie is the soundtrack. <i>Baby Driver </i>is almost like a rock 'n roll musical with how well the action syncs to the music and how much of it defines the characters. Whether it's Baby restarting a song so his driving blends in perfectly with it or the way that everything is deathly quiet whenever Baby isn't listening to his music. There is so much attention to detail with the soundtrack that it deserves a dissection of its own. </div>
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From "Hocus Pocus" to "Brighton Rock", from Bats to Buddy, <i>Baby Driver </i>is the most stylish and entertaining movie of the year. I know that technically there are other more polished and more refined movies that say deeper and more meaningful things that came out this year, but no movie floored me as much as <i>Baby Driver</i>. It wouldn't be my list unless I was true to myself, and I can't deny that <i>Baby Driver </i>was my favorite movie of 2017. I may not know what kind of a year 2018 will be, but I can at least say that 2017 had at least one kickass movie that won my heart. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-89619498111890490482018-01-11T13:54:00.002-08:002018-01-11T13:54:39.464-08:00The Top 5 Best Video Games of 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZPH2lx-IK2vRLZrblSrtlpVsTO9ipAtashTgNecVqSsJp3ybO3b3nlyruDieYSL6nYXBdl11CLjnY0o10l5KH2gG7FSQlYwAAVn3dgeM31g1aVJgqIufqcwoRelEDWF0kmV2kJFw4fUbr/s1600/best+games+of+2017+october+main.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="356" data-original-width="633" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZPH2lx-IK2vRLZrblSrtlpVsTO9ipAtashTgNecVqSsJp3ybO3b3nlyruDieYSL6nYXBdl11CLjnY0o10l5KH2gG7FSQlYwAAVn3dgeM31g1aVJgqIufqcwoRelEDWF0kmV2kJFw4fUbr/s640/best+games+of+2017+october+main.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Is there such a thing as having too many great games?<br />
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In all of my years of being a gamer, the last time that I thought we had a truly excellent year in gaming was 2010. That, 1994, 1998, and 2007 are some of the standout best years in gaming just because of how many stellar titles were launched and sometimes for its outstanding hardware releases. 2017 is going to be known for being a phenomenal mix of the two. Not only did we get an ungodly amount of great games from <i>Resident Evil 7 </i>to <i>Xenoblade Chronicles 2</i>, but we also had the monumental launch of the Nintendo Switch. While it's yet to be seen how much life the Switch has in it, it has a huge amount of support from developers and has sold almost as much as the Wii U's entire lifespan in 10 months. That's insane. And I love it.<br />
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2017 was such a banner year for gaming that even the terrible games had some redeeming qualities in them. <i>Star Wars Battlefront 2 </i>was awful, but if you were to remove the insidious microtransactions and loot box system, you would have at the very least a competent multiplayer shooter. While one can argue that it could be worse to have functional games that try to suck money out of you like a vampire than the broken games of previous years, at least one can say that they're playable. And gamer outrage was able to change terrible business practices for the better, so at least there's hope.<br />
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2017 just left me feeling so positive that I was actually going to make this list into a Top 10. I had so many games that I enjoyed that I could have easily expanded this into a full list, but doing four lists at once is a pretty draining process so I decided to nix that plan. However, I wanted to make special mentions to <i>Snipperclips, Yooka Laylee, Sonic Mania, Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice, Xenoblade Chronicles 2, </i>and <i>Horizon Zero Dawn</i> for just being great games, but not great enough to truly make my list. In an expanded list, yes indeed, but this isn't that kind of list. These are the Top 5 Best Video Games of 2017.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYvd7owGT-cZbB1yfZmf9_TQGzG66Espu8PTk7rp3bO0Uwgmc2yNzh24hpC_e5ZFwjWJFJxFzLpxqSchxTNAw6Fa_KBUzzo0-zOGJhTnz8RStDXv8WyKi7FIamet1ZbFp8N_BTtRWaQwfY/s1600/thumb-350-834926.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="219" data-original-width="350" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYvd7owGT-cZbB1yfZmf9_TQGzG66Espu8PTk7rp3bO0Uwgmc2yNzh24hpC_e5ZFwjWJFJxFzLpxqSchxTNAw6Fa_KBUzzo0-zOGJhTnz8RStDXv8WyKi7FIamet1ZbFp8N_BTtRWaQwfY/s400/thumb-350-834926.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">HM: <i>Persona 5</i></td></tr>
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My feelings on <i>Persona 5 </i>are conflicting to say the least. I can acknowledge that the gameplay is truly spectacular and the sense of style that is unrivaled by any other game this year. It was one of only a handful of games that took me over 100 hours to complete. I barreled through this game after work every day for a month and had a great time with it. All of that being said, saying that <i>Persona 5 </i>is an uneven game is a huge understatement.<br />
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While the beginning is really damned good and the ending is solid, the middle of the game drags like no other. The focus on villains is appreciated, but it leaves our heroes feeling a bit more underdeveloped than previous games. With the exception of Futaba and Makoto, I really didn't grow to love these characters in the same way that I loved the cast of <i>Persona 3</i> and <i>4</i>. Maybe that's just me, but it was an issue none the less. When I have to spend 100 hours with a cast that I don't completely love, it can be tiresome.<br />
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But the gameplay in this massive JRPG is what pushed me through the low points. Combat was actually enjoyable and the monster recruiting mechanics, if random, were still fun to experiment with. So it's not as good as <i>Persona 4</i>, but it's still easily one of the best games of 2017.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#5: <i>Cuphead</i></td></tr>
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I SO wished I could have talked about <i>Cuphead </i>this year! I planned on it, but then my schedule got swamped in October, and sacrifices had to be made. It was sad, but let me rectify that by saying that <i>Cuphead </i>was an insane trip to Hell and back.<br />
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I think it's already been said that <i>Cuphead </i>is a gorgeous game. Like, really damned beautiful. It's also been said that <i>Cuphead </i>is one of the hardest games of the year with punishing bosses and stages that were designed to kill you over and over again. I kept on coming back to it with my co-op partner (I was the Mugman to his Cuphead), and we persevered. So instead, I wanted to just tell a quick little story about the best moment in the entire game for us.<br />
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We were in the fight against King Dice and the entire fight is a huge gauntlet. You have to fight at least three bosses before getting to King Dice, but you can fight a maximum of nine bosses leading up to him. We spent an entire night getting to King Dice, thinking that if we were able to get to him, the level would be over and we wouldn't have to fight him. Once we got to him, we cheered and celebrated, but then realized in horror that we had to fight him. We died while we were celebrating and we had to start all over again.<br />
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After a few days of us recuperating from our loss, we challenged him again. We nearly got to him beating five bosses in the process but right before we got to him, we were forced back to the start of the board to trek through it all over again. We thought it was the end for us, but we weren't going down that easily. We worked our way back up to him without having to fight a single extra boss. Once we reached him, we fired everything we had at him, ready to take him out once and for all. And then the game glitched. King Dice got stuck in an animation where he send cards out to attack us, but the cards never came. He just kept on summoning enemies that would never come for eternity. So we did the only natural thing we could think of. We killed him like wusses and claimed our victory. Yeah it was cheap, but his whole fight was cheap. And that's why <i>Cuphead </i>is number 5 on my list.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#4: <i>Doki Doki Literature Club</i></td></tr>
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I still have no intention on saying anything about this game to anyone. If you've played it, you know exactly why it's one of the best games of 2017. If you haven't, then I still won't tell you why. All you need to know is that the plot of <i>Doki Doki </i>stays with you far after the game ends. The ideas and themes that it plays with is enough to follow you into any other game you play immediately afterwards.<br />
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Sure, the gameplay is dated and there's not much engagement outside of a few poetry section and a puzzle section towards the end of the game, but that's just the nature of the visual novel beast. Don't let your trepidations of the genre frighten you away. If you stay with <i>Doki Doki </i>and work to see its story, I can safely say that you'll be immensely pleased. Or emotionally devastated. It's really all up to you.<br />
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Look, it's free. Any computer can run it. Just give it a try and see what all of the fuss is about.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#3: <i>The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild</i></td></tr>
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Please don't be made, please don't be mad, please don't be ma, please don't be mad, please don't be mad.<br />
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While I can completely understand why so many people adore this game and I do think it justly deserves the numerous GOTY awards it's been getting from certain outlets, and I can say that it is one of my favorite <i>Zelda </i>games, it does have a few issues that stop me from completely falling in love with it. I know that I gushed over it back in March and absorbed as much as I could of the game, but now that the shine has worn off, I feel like I can safely look at this game with unfiltered eyes.<br />
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<i>Breath of the Wild </i>gets a lot right. The world is breathtaking, the combat is the best in the entire series, the sense of exploration is unbelievable, the scale in mind boggling, and I actually really enjoyed the quiet and subtle soundtrack. As an advancement of the <i>LoZ </i>series, there's nothing else quite like it. We haven't seen a massive overhaul of this caliber since <i>Ocarina of Time </i>back in '98.<br />
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As for what I didn't like, I feel that after a certain point you kind of adjust to the game and it loses a bit of its luster. There'll come a time where you don't really want to explore Hyrule anymore and see the sights. Maybe you got worn out of Shrines or you don't want to get anymore Korok Seeds, but you'll hit a point where you just want to get back to the main game. Unfortunately, the main game is the weakest part of the game. I can safely say that while I completely understand why the Divine Beasts are structurally the same and are open to the player at the very beginning in any order, the dungeons themselves are some of the worst dungeons in the series. No personality, no dynamic design, just short, bland temples that feel like they belonged to the 80's.<br />
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The game truly shines in its opening hours. When you have the complete sense of freedom, <i>Breath of the Wild </i>is unlike any other game this year. I loved played it and had a great time just doing whatever I wanted. After a certain point, the game lost its magic, but what was left was still an outstanding game that I can easily see why so many people call it one of the greatest games of all time. It's just not MY favorite game of all time.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#2: <i>Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony</i></td></tr>
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If you've wanted to see a game that completely flipped the table with one of the most insane stories I have ever seen in a game, look no further than <i>Danganronpa V3</i>.<br />
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I've been with the series since the beginning of its exposure in North America and I do call myself a <i>Danganronpa </i>fan, but there was something special about <i>V3</i> that distinguished itself from other games this year. Maybe it was the cast of characters that ranged from being unbearable to featuring some of the best personalities in the series? Maybe it was the class trials that subverted the very idea of what a class trial could be? Or maybe it was the ludicrous finale that destroyed everything that the series built up just for a shock reaction? Whatever the case, one thing is certain; <i>Danganronpa V3 </i>has balls.<br />
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When you're not participating in class trials, you can spend some quality time with your classmates and get to know them just a little bit better. Even if some of the personalities seem familiar, you're bound to attach yourself to a few characters that you'll love almost as much as the previous students, if not more. No joke, when I got this game, I told myself that I was going to take my time with it and really savor the experience. Yeah, I binged this game in a week. I just couldn't stop myself from diving into the world and seeing just how nuts the plot got.<br />
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<i>Danganronpa V3 </i>is the undisputed champion of the visual novel genre and its only competition is other entries in the series. I can easily say that is has the best story of any game in 2017 and that is not a statement that I make lightly. But why isn't my favorite game of the year? Well...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlzDSih9ewn8tqiZhafmzo7wPDuY49yu0W-fVL5q1xYS48xxwCEfH_fRRagEYwV5A-TzczTOSryDQ1MtjGxmOIPfNyjlf1mGSAEla28YMKDclEDMn16czXObGbChkTIF2DCKtqF2YOwgn/s1600/sm_odyssey_mayor_pauline.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlzDSih9ewn8tqiZhafmzo7wPDuY49yu0W-fVL5q1xYS48xxwCEfH_fRRagEYwV5A-TzczTOSryDQ1MtjGxmOIPfNyjlf1mGSAEla28YMKDclEDMn16czXObGbChkTIF2DCKtqF2YOwgn/s400/sm_odyssey_mayor_pauline.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#1: <i>Super Mario Odyssey</i></td></tr>
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<i>Super Mario Odyssey </i>is my favorite <i>Mario </i>game. It's probably also one of my favorite platformers and easily the best Nintendo Switch game available to this date.<br />
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I'm of the mindset that <i>Mario </i>games are a great introductory platforming series. They can entertain, but nothing really compels me to complete them or do everything in the game. <i>Super Mario Odyssey </i>is such a polished game with perfect worlds, physics, gameplay, and atmosphere that I thought it deserved to be finished. It deserved all of my attention and was just THAT good. It really was.<br />
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Whether I was hopping around New Donk City or marveling at the sights in the Cascade Kingdom, I was looking in every nook and cranny for what the game offered. If I had an idea to get one of the 883 Power Moons, chances are the game would reward my curiosity with one of them. <i>Odyssey </i>actively rewards you for trying new and inventive things and the satisfaction that you get from solving a puzzle or getting a Moon is unrivaled. I still remember finishing the main missions of New Donk City and going through the festival level with one of the best video game theme songs of all time playing in the background.<br />
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Even when you beat the game, there are still tons of things you can do. There are dozens of costumes to collect, some of which will put a giant smile on your face for being surprising throwbacks, bosses to fight against, new worlds to explore, new Moons to collect in previous worlds, the game just never ends!<br />
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It's kind of a curse to talk about a game that you love so much because it's so hard to put into words the magic of just playing it for the first time. I can try to vocalize it until the cows come home, but none of it really matters. You just need to play it for yourself. 2017 was the year of the Nintendo Switch, and it got one hell of a killer app in it's first year of life. I can' think of any other game that deserves the honor of being my 2017 Game of the Year. Here's to a long and healthy life for the Switch.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-8825057395047188292018-01-08T13:50:00.000-08:002018-01-08T13:50:06.192-08:00The Top 10 Worst Movies of 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsr6Je26be7w-umEQe0MNVMh750jLXDFq3xPg2soRL2yBLl_0m1xCtHwlKOewHHKsw48UPl64XIyCjTElWiG2Lb3WUnRuWVT5JTFHjwDLBxqrYQVffRyAoMcvnDXCJS7Qb5vSXo2drizwO/s1600/landscape-1513096500-bad-films.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="490" data-original-width="980" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsr6Je26be7w-umEQe0MNVMh750jLXDFq3xPg2soRL2yBLl_0m1xCtHwlKOewHHKsw48UPl64XIyCjTElWiG2Lb3WUnRuWVT5JTFHjwDLBxqrYQVffRyAoMcvnDXCJS7Qb5vSXo2drizwO/s640/landscape-1513096500-bad-films.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Boring, cynical, and lazy. Yup, it's a worst of 2017 list.<br />
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I'm not someone that tends to exaggerate for a reaction. I don't try to intentionally act over-the-top or act in a cartoonish manner to get a point across. I like to think that I'm pretty straightforward and honest when it comes to my criticisms. I don't sugar coat my feelings and I certainly don't try to behave in a way that isn't honest. I could say that 2017 gave me a healthy supply of terrible movies to tear apart, but that just wouldn't be honest of me.<br />
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Did 2017 have some bad movies? Of course it did. What year would be incomplete without bad movies? The bad movies of 2017 though weren't anything to write home about. With a few key exceptions, I just couldn't muster up anything other than boredom of the bad movies this year. On one hand, that's good for me. A boring movie can easily be forgotten and it can be left to die. On the other hand, talking about and explaining why a boring movie is bad isn't all that entertaining. So when I was compiling my list of the worst movies of 2017, I had to simply remember all of the bad movies I saw, which was easier said than done. Then I had to look at which movies really rubbed me the wrong way and most of the movies that made it onto this list are just bland. They're forgettable. Uninteresting. Mediocre.<br />
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So I guess that's a good thing for me. 2017 could have been a lot worse in terms of movies and now it's just going to be shooting fish in a barrel here. These are the easy targets of bad movies, the ones that won't take me too long to tear apart, but I'll have fun doing it regardless. I'm make boredom entertaining! If you enjoyed these movies, more power to you. You like what you like, and I respect that, but at least try and meet me halfway and understand why I particularly dislike these movies. So here we are. Let's get ready to eviscerate the Top 10 Worst Movies of 2017.<br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZG0quU2oplwvHG9olq1dx7NsTPOLpi8zSOg9TU8yDhDT1fpEsam4VX552l_LYZFluYw-TAM4sx8Jy9jiACrWMdsKj0clrL1cbEo3Ph2OEVYV95A7jQiFpcUIGt-8v3dLOfsihGiHMtmx3/s1600/olaf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="1200" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZG0quU2oplwvHG9olq1dx7NsTPOLpi8zSOg9TU8yDhDT1fpEsam4VX552l_LYZFluYw-TAM4sx8Jy9jiACrWMdsKj0clrL1cbEo3Ph2OEVYV95A7jQiFpcUIGt-8v3dLOfsihGiHMtmx3/s400/olaf.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">Dishonorable Mention: <i>Olaf's Frozen Adventure</i></td></tr>
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Talk about an abject failure of a movie! <i>Olaf's Frozen Adventure </i>was so bad that the entire conversation around it was just hilarious to sit through and deserves to be put on this spot just for the sheer entertainment I got out of this.<br />
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For those of you who didn't know, <i>Olaf's Frozen Adventure </i>was the obligatory short that went in front of <i>Coco </i>in November. Typically the shorts are about 5 minutes or so and show off unique concepts, animation styles, and generally don't overstay their welcome. <i>Olaf's Frozen Adventure </i>was a 21 minute long short film that feature several new songs and centered around Olaf trying to find the meaning of Christmas or something like that. It was long, it was annoying, and the fact that it was put in front of <i>Coco </i>led many to believe that Disney had little faith in the movie so they needed to put a mini <i>Frozen </i>movie in front of it in order to keep people in the seats.<br />
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Disney's gambit backfired horribly. Kids hated the short, parents were annoyed by it, people complained about it, and some people even showed up to theatre a half hour later than the movie time just so they didn't have to see the short film. The film went over so poorly that Disney decided to pull it from theatres after screening it for two weeks in front of <i>Coco. </i>The best part about that? Disney claimed that they were always going to pull it from theatres because it was a "limited theatrical engagement" and was never intended to be in front of <i>Coco </i>for more than two weeks. That's one of the laziest, half-assed defenses I've ever heard and I absolutely love it. <i>Olaf's Frozen Adventure </i>might have been bad, and I can't justify putting a short film on the list, but the story behind this failure was just too good to not preserve for all of time. Congrats Disney for botching it up in such a fun way!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#10: <i>Beauty & the Beast (2017)</i></td></tr>
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Speaking of Disney botching things up, we have <i>Beauty & the Beast</i>! A beloved cartoon gets remade in live-action for really no good reason! I've spent months trying to rack my brain over why this film needed to be made. Why would Disney want to remake one of their most prolific movies and devalue their property?<br />
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Don't get me wrong, the original <i>Beauty & the Beast </i>is untouchable in my opinion and can never be turned into a cash cow like other Disney properties. Look, I know the real reason that Disney wanted to remake <i>Beauty & the Beast</i>. They wanted oodles and oodles of cash from it, and it succeeded. Lord knows they made bank off of this movie, but it's just worse than the original in nearly every single way. Emma Watson's singing is has more autotune than my 2002 Ford Explorer, and that thing goes to the shop at least twice a year! The characters all look so ugly and lifeless. If you just compared Lumiere from the remake to the original, you can see clearly that the remake's Lumiere is just garish and cluttered. Everything about this movie, aesthetically speaking, is too much. Too many things are happening at once and it loses its visual splendor.<br />
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But then we have the plot, or what I like to call the attempts to fix the plot holes from the original movie. We now have a time frame for how long Belle has been with the Beast, which severely impacts their relationship. In the original they were able to fit a movie and a Tim Curry Christmas special during Belle's "imprisonment" at the castle, but here barely any time passes. Belle's mom had plague, the Beast's dad was a jerk, Lefou is gay, does any of that really add anything to the story? Were we all left wondering at the end of the first movie where Belle's mom was in that whole affair?<br />
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<i>Beauty & the Beast </i>isn't awful by any stretch of the word, but it was easily the most pointless movie of the year for me. They could have done so much with it and it could have been as good as the original, but instead I'm left wondering why I should watch this one instead of the original. If you're a remake and you do that, you have failed as a remake.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#9: <i>Snatched</i></td></tr>
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Amy Schumer is unfunny and she takes up roughly 80% of the movie.<br />
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I mean... do I really need to go into more detail? It's a comedy where the star is not funny and is instead insufferable. That's all that really needs to be said.<br />
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So here you are <i>Snatched</i>; you have won my second annual "So Funny It's Sad" Award for trying so hard to be funny and instead just failing miserably. Here's looking at you kid!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#8: <i>The Bye Bye Man</i></td></tr>
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I would say that <i>The Bye Bye Man </i>was our annual representative for "Worst Horror Movie", but we've actually got a horror movie worse than <i>The Bye Bye Man</i>! That shouldn't be possible.<br />
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If you've wanted to see one of the most inept horror films of 2017, here you are. A movie so dumb that it almost became so bad it's good. Even then, I can understand when a horror movie is intentionally trying to get a laugh out of its audience. <i>Evil Dead 2 </i>and <i>Nightmare on Elm Street 3</i> are perfect examples of horror movies that try to intentionally be funny at times, but they can still provide the scares when needed. <i>The Bye Bye Man </i>can't dish out the scares and all of the laughs you may get are completely unintentional.<br />
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If I could compare <i>The Bye Bye Man </i>to any movie, it would probably be a college student's horror film. You know the kind. It's a movie where the director came up with this magnificent vision of a horror movie that'll scare everyone to death, but once it's been filmed and edited it's about as scary as a turnip. They tried, and there was probably a lot of passion behind it, but the results were still subpar.<br />
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Actually I take that back, <i>The Bye Bye Man </i>is worse than a college horror film because at least in those you can tell the passion of the creators was on screen. You can tell that the people that made those films genuinely cared about what they were making and wanted it to be as scary as possible even when it isn't. There isn't any passion here. It's a January horror film. Disposable.<br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSzy7PmvRnXqtwg-e5whHrtH1PdhrTNFfP2qps9WWixjHMl1fOD5XKgpbhcZZfnHl3rQFwXTHrwbpJ3krnkG78goo_5DIabARFAAdhCDvdYrSHHUrFs7ZqAU_Myk8PbhZMaXANxzZ1so5/s1600/2017-ghost-in-the-shell-5k-image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSzy7PmvRnXqtwg-e5whHrtH1PdhrTNFfP2qps9WWixjHMl1fOD5XKgpbhcZZfnHl3rQFwXTHrwbpJ3krnkG78goo_5DIabARFAAdhCDvdYrSHHUrFs7ZqAU_Myk8PbhZMaXANxzZ1so5/s400/2017-ghost-in-the-shell-5k-image.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#7: <i>Ghost in the Shell</i></td></tr>
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I kind of hate the fact that I have to put <i>Ghost in the Shell </i>on the worst list because it's such a visually arresting movie. Say what you will about the plot, characters, casting, and themes, <i>Ghost in the Shell </i>is a pretty little movie. It just sucks that it's as boring as tar.<br />
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More so than any other movie this year, <i>Ghost in the Shell </i>had the potential to be an entertaining and sometimes philosophically rich movie. We've seen it before in the original anime. This adaptation though sucks out all of the potential intrigue and wonder and replaces it with dull cyberpunk aesthetics and even more dull performances. It's especially ironic since the original <i>Ghost in the Shell </i>was one of the pioneers of the anime cyberpunk aesthetic. And now it's just blase.<br />
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And as for the elephant in the room, no, <i>Ghost in the Shell </i>is not on this list because of accusations of whitewashing. I could spend a small eternity going on about how if the people who were offended on behalf of the Japanese had watched the original anime or if anyone had seen the movie to understand the context of why Scarlett Johansson works as The Major, I'll just say this. Not only has the original author gave his blessing to the casting decision, as well as the original anime director, but scores of Japanese fans of the franchise said that their biggest complaints about the movie wasn't the casting of Scarlett Johansson, but rather the fact that the themes of humanity and the soul have been glossed over. So no, <i>Ghost in the Shell </i>isn't bad because it's a white washed movie. It's bad because it's more boring than reading the dictionary.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#6: <i>Alien: Covenant</i></td></tr>
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Now here's the worst horror movie of 2017! <i>The Bye Bye Man </i>may be completely disposable, but the true sadness about <i>Alien: Covenant </i>is that it tarnishes the legacy of the <i>Alien </i>franchise ever further thanks to Ridley Scott.<br />
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Where do I even begin with this one? Well let me just say that when I saw it the first time, I thought it was just okay. It had a good beginning, but the ending spiraled out of control into bad territory. That being said, I still thought it was an okay horror movie. But the more that it sat with me, the more my opinion began to sour. Ever character in this movie was acting like an idiot. Protocols that were followed to the letter in the first two movies were swiftly ignored because if anyone was using their brain, we wouldn't have a movie.<br />
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So we have a bunch of idiots with no personality. Okay, that's not a death sentence to the movie. But then we get David, the AI from <i>Prometheus </i>returning and waxing poetic and generally being a pretentious bore. He can be menacing at times, but most of the time he just likes to draw, play music, talk about life and human nature, all while being as monotone as possible. So that makes the movie worse.<br />
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We get a Xenomorph. It's really only one Xenomorph for most of the movie, and it really only pops up in the climax. Don't forget though, the climax was the worst thing about the movie, even in my original review. It tries to cram in the original <i>Alien </i>into about twenty minutes with none of the tension or buildup and without any of the charming characters. But what really got under my skin with this movie was just how it seemed to be so un-<i>Alien</i>. Like if it wasn't for the Xenomorphs, you could call it a completely different name and it would have just as much impact.<br />
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Yes, <i>The Bye Bye Man </i>is technically a worse movie than <i>Alien: Covenant</i>, I never could have cared about <i>The Bye Bye Man</i>. There is no conceivable way that I could have been invested in that movie. There was a chance that I could be invested in this. There was even a time where I thought that this could have been a return to form for the franchise. Instead, I was just let down like no other movie this year. Sad, but true.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#5: <i>My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: The Movie</i></td></tr>
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As of this writing, my longest review has been uncontested by <i>Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice</i>. I had a ton to say about that movie and how much it sucked. <i>My Little Pony Friendship is Magic: The Movie </i>may have given it a run for it's money. I can't remember if I spent more words decimating that movie or this one, but it's pretty neck and neck at the end of the day. This movie is just putrid.<br />
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<i>MLPFIMTM </i>(yes it deserves an unpronounceable acronym) is a movie that I think only the youngest of children could find any entertainment in. They can really only be entertained by the bright and flashing colors, akin to jingling rainbow keys in front of their faces. Anyone else that has some thought, some form of decision making, some basic human intelligence, would not care about this movie. It offers nothing. It's the equivalent to tasting air. You gain nothing by watching it, you only waste precious moments of your life trying to find something so bland entertaining.<br />
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It's a movie that wants to sell toys in the most blatant way possible. Say what you will about the series, but at least whenever Hasbro decides that the toy line needs some new characters or figures, it'll integrate them somewhat nicely in the TV show. Maybe they'll be a two part event, or maybe the cast will go on some new adventure, just something that isn't as cynical as this. And yeah, I know that that's the entire point to franchises like this. They exist to make toys to tell to little girls and 30 something year old men, I get it, but there was a time where this series didn't at least look like that was its mission statement. There was an episode dedicated to riffing on <i>Batman: The Animated Series </i>for the love of God. Now, no references, no original humor, just dumb as nails characters going on an adventure because you need to buy new toys.<br />
<br />
The only thing that kept this from being any higher was because this movie tanked and it tanked HARD. While the production costs are unknown, the movie made about $50 million worldwide with $20 million coming from the US. That may sound like a lot of money, but when you look at other animated features that came out in 2017, it was easily one of the worst and is projected to have just broken even. Maybe. When you can't even get a fan base to mobilize over this movie, you have a real stinker on your hand. <br />
<br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnhNrnqk7LBlGaHmjfX7y3LNJG6xjaUYeN5d0cj4EC-oTlu05dBeoUN2ZzGdbiNOeIRimXu29a01dFxilJpTP4KmZQrUDbGyNZINpPihaLbJAE8ws9MIin7zhHwEhnHxv_euLzLtf180Wq/s1600/death_note-2017-netflix-movie-light_yagami-21718.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnhNrnqk7LBlGaHmjfX7y3LNJG6xjaUYeN5d0cj4EC-oTlu05dBeoUN2ZzGdbiNOeIRimXu29a01dFxilJpTP4KmZQrUDbGyNZINpPihaLbJAE8ws9MIin7zhHwEhnHxv_euLzLtf180Wq/s400/death_note-2017-netflix-movie-light_yagami-21718.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#4: <i>Death Note</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I now present to you, a scene. Two cynical people talking about Netflix's <i>Death Note </i>feature film. Enjoy.<br />
<br />
A: So what was your favorite part about <i>Death Note</i>?<br />
B: My favorite part was when Light screamed like a bitch and nearly pissed himself.<br />
A: I know right? That's exactly how I envisioned his character.<br />
B: What about you?<br />
A: My favorite moment was when L stole a police officer's gun, chased Light around a city, then threatened to shoot him in his face.<br />
B: Damn, that was another great moment. So true to the original anime, right?<br />
A: Totally. And Misa, I mean Mia, becoming the main villain and wanting to kill people cause Light was being such a wuss? Great character change.<br />
B: Agreed. At least the movie was dark as hell.<br />
A: That was a great decision. I loved how I had to turn the brightness up on my TV just to see what was happening.<br />
B: The only thing that made it even better was making the entire movie like a <i>Twilight </i>ripoff. I've been saying it for years, <i>Death Note </i>needed more angst and moodiness.<br />
A: And L thinking about writing in the Death Note.<br />
B: Yeah, that too. And you know they're gonna make a sequel, right?<br />
A: Oh dude, that is exactly what I need in this world now.<br />
B: Right? Just as much as I need this Glock in my mouth and a bullet in my brain. You wanna help me with that?<br />
A: With pleasure.<br />
<br />
SCENE.<br />
<br />
But Willem Dafoe was alright I guess.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#3: <i>Fifty Shades Darker</i></td></tr>
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After a one year break, we're back to the worst franchise of modern cinema. I thought that the original <i>Fifty Shades of Grey </i>was the worst movie of 2015 and easily one of the least sexiest and uncomfortable "romance" movies I have ever seen. So when I went into the sequel, it wasn't a question of if it was going to be good, but rather how bad it was going to be. Hell, even at the beginning of the year I knew it would make my worst list, but I never would have expected it to be number 3.<br />
<br />
Oh sure, it's still awful in the same ways that the original were awful, but I was never disgusted with what I saw. Actually, I thought that the sequel was so bad, so dumb, so ludicrous that I actually started to enjoy how terrible it was. I laughed at how serious the movie was being and how it wasn't even the slightest bit aware of how trashy and nonsensical it was. I'm shocked to say that I'm actually looking forward to the final movie this February if only because I expect nothing but the worst.<br />
<br />
A bad movie is still a bad movie though, and even if <i>Fifty Shades Darker </i>is a slight improvement, it's only real benefit is that it isn't skin peelingly warped with its depictions of BDSM, love, and intimacy. Our two leads still have no chemistry and ever little moment between these two feels about as erotic as smashing two Barbie dolls together. It's bad, but it's entertainingly bad. I really wish I had more to say, but what more can I say besides it's more of the same from this franchise. Here's to hoping that it has a colossal train wreck of a finale.<br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKYp3jb1UsXrEKiZIX_pR-F5flCNUOUTkqaY7T2iLXH9H61XrINa_OWuAh6soapHO2wiaPVzAYcnJg7LbkdOXLe3GyGE88UFoPRFI3SKhwkuRVxq2zvYGnCe3Z_PsKhB_MSu6SC9OjwXek/s1600/The-Emoji-Movie-Poop-Character-Wallpaper-HD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="726" data-original-width="1330" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKYp3jb1UsXrEKiZIX_pR-F5flCNUOUTkqaY7T2iLXH9H61XrINa_OWuAh6soapHO2wiaPVzAYcnJg7LbkdOXLe3GyGE88UFoPRFI3SKhwkuRVxq2zvYGnCe3Z_PsKhB_MSu6SC9OjwXek/s400/The-Emoji-Movie-Poop-Character-Wallpaper-HD.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#2: <i>The Emoji Movie</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Show of hands, who thought this was going to be number one?<br />
<br />
In what is universally regarded as being the worst movie of 2017, I had trouble when I reviewed <i>The Emoji Movie </i>back in July. There were some pretty hilarious reviews that came out around that time for how bad this movie was. Some people screamed at innocent civilians after watching it. Others burned tickets. Some even lost faith in the human race. All extreme scenarios, and I decided to make a joke review that I personally loved, but didn't really say all that much about <i>The Emoji Movie. </i>So now, as a thanks to everyone for staying with me for so long, here are my genuinely, non filtered thoughts on <i>The Emoji Movie</i>.<br />
<br />
I find it draining. This is a movie that thinks that your children are stupid. Hell, it knows that your kids are stupid. It assumes that anything can be made into a movie and anything will entertain a child or at the very least shut them up for an hour and a half. It's an advertisement for your phones. It sends out the insidious message that you don't need social interaction, you just need to play with your phone. This is the movie brought to you by Sound Cloud, by Dropbox, by Youtube, <i>Candy Crush</i>, <i>Just Dance</i>, Twitter, Facebook, and any other app that a child can identify because they see it on their phones or their parent's phones.<br />
<br />
This isn't even just an instance of me being an old man and bemoaning that the generation before me has no taste or ideas of social interaction. All of <i>The Emoji Movie </i>characters feel cynically designed to appeal to the specific idea that your phone is the most important thing in the world. There's a wonderland of magic and fantasy in your cell phone, so spend more time with it and love it. There is no soul, no passion, no joy here. Everything in this movie has been created down to a science. If A+B+C, then you will get a good movie. I always talk about how kids deserve better media and better movies, but this movie is the antithesis of everything I believe in. It's soulless. It's pointless. It has no creativity other than corporate sponsorship. It is everything wrong with kids movies and with the creative process in Hollywood.<br />
<br />
If you are a parent that voluntarily took your kids to see this, you are not a parent I want to meet. It's one thing if your children wanted to go see it and you decided to placate them. If you're a parent that uses this movie is babysit your kids, or uses technology to do it instead of playing with them, reading to them, or spending quality time with them, you are a bad parent. The end.<br />
<br />
Wow that felt great to get off my chest! That was 6 months in the making! Well thank you everyone for reading my Top 10 Worst Movies of... wait, this is only #2? <i>The Emoji Movie </i>was just #2???<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">#1: <i>The Dark Tower</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Expectation vs. Destination.<br />
<br />
I never predetermine where a movie is going to place on a list. I never know until the day of posting where a movie may potentially land on one of my lists. When I started to put together this movie, I really started to think back to <i>The Dark Tower </i>and how bad it was. It was a bad movie, a completely awful movie at that, but was it really worse than <i>The Emoji Movie</i>?<br />
<br />
That's when I began to think about my feelings before and after I saw each movie. I had no hope for <i>The Emoji Movie </i>going into it. I knew it was going to be bad, so when I left the theatre knowing that it was a terrible movie, there was nothing for me to really feel bad about. I had no hope for it, it came out bad, self fulfilling prophecy. In the case of <i>The Dark Tower, </i>there was some hope. A rich and compelling universe based around Stephen King books? A poster that was commanding and interesting? Movie theatres going so far to change movie times to align themselves with significant numbers from the movie? That showed that there was effort placed into this movie and that people genuinely wanted people to enjoy it. So I gave it the benefit of the doubt.<br />
<br />
<i>The Dark Tower </i>betrayed even those thoughts.<br />
<br />
Two incredibly talented actors are made uninteresting and generic. Our mystical setting is ignored for setting it in Manhattan. Our hero is sidelined for a whiny teenager. The magical world is made grey and bleak like it came right out of a military shooter. Character moments that would take time to develop are crammed into a few minutes. Anything that could make me care about a Stephen King shared universe was destroyed with this movie.<br />
<br />
I know it may seem odd to say how this movie is worse than <i>The Emoji Movie</i>, but you have to understand something. This movie had fans that were already established from Stephen King's novels. People were lining up to see <i>The Dark Tower </i>based on the quality of the books alone. I've never read a single book in the series and I somehow feel betrayed as a fan. This is the very similar to <i>Batman & Robin </i>where everything that fans originally loved about the series was washed away in one fell swoop. Even then, at least <i>Batman & Robin </i>had some campy charm to it. This just has nothing. <i>The Dark Tower </i>was such a failure that it spelled doom for the planned film series, converted it into a TV series, and the TV series plans to pretend that this movie never existed. So congratulations <i>The Dark Tower </i>you were so awful that you don't exist anymore. You clearly deserve the title of Worst Movie of 2017.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-60722601869640519752018-01-05T14:30:00.001-08:002018-01-05T14:30:58.608-08:00The Top 5 Best Anime of 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVAQXVPkTNz4lHRwvKYG0BzeHt5ncata2tMf7IITt1UVcgUbR57OzHWCR57K3z6msNqf44piDX8x1YRtx_KcMaSqKvHSDhzQD3jwN-paMK13p7WxuXW-dTLELG2AxBEupJ2_g1T5Fp09r4/s1600/Magus-PV1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVAQXVPkTNz4lHRwvKYG0BzeHt5ncata2tMf7IITt1UVcgUbR57OzHWCR57K3z6msNqf44piDX8x1YRtx_KcMaSqKvHSDhzQD3jwN-paMK13p7WxuXW-dTLELG2AxBEupJ2_g1T5Fp09r4/s640/Magus-PV1.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Time to start reflecting on the past year. First up, what were the best anime of 2017?<br />
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<br />
Welcome one and all to 2018!<br />
<br />
Looking back at the past year, 2017 was definitely something else. Instead of all of the chaos of 2016, here we had more focus on the insanity. We could pinpoint the crazy moments and people were at least more willing to stand up and fight for what they believe in. Now granted, some of those beliefs may make you into a Nazi, in which case I think it's fair to say your beliefs are wrong, but other times people were at least open to standing u for themselves. Social discussion was thrown out the window and we're in a world now where anyone that disagrees with you is unfortunately the enemy. Actually being able to talk with a person on an issue was difficult and there's a sneaking suspicion that people are less and less willing to stand with each other. We'd rather stand against each other, which is a real shame. But let's not talk about the poor state of morale in the world, let's talk about the one thing that unites people everywhere; anime!<br />
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I'm probably in the minority on this one, but 2017 seemed like a year with more titles than ever before and more of them were underwhelming or bad than good. Oh sure, there were some quality sequels that came out this year like <i>Attack on Titan </i>and <i>My Hero Academia</i>, but you already had to be an established fan to like them and actively be engaged in the story to get full enjoyment out of them. In terms of quality original series, 2017 was pretty lackluster.<br />
<br />
The first half of 2017 was painful to get through. There were a few decent titles, but nothing really shone through the deluge of junk and when something was potentially interesting, it was walled off by Netflix or relegated to a paywall with Amazon's Anime Strike. It wasn't until the second half of 2017 that things started to look up. We got quality titles but we got them in smaller amounts so there was nothing lost in the grand scheme of things. But does the second half of 2017 redeem the first half? No, but there were still some good shows overall, and we're here to talk about them. I saw 21 shows over the course of 2017, and here are the five best shows! Spoilers, <i>Hand Shakers </i>is not on this list.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Honorable Mention: <i>Kakegurui</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i>Kakegurui </i>was the best show that nobody watched. Because Netflix was being Netflix, the series was not streamed in North America and is instead going to be released in the states in 2018. Now I could have put this show in 2018's Best of list just because I know it's a great show with a ton of fun moments, but any chance I can just say "screw you" to Netflix and the way it handles streaming anime is always a plus in my books.<br />
<br />
Anyway, <i>Kakegurui </i>was just a blast to watch. It's one of those shows where you know what's going to happen every episode because we have a super protagonist who can't lose, but just watching Yumeko win these insane games with euphoric pleasure is a delight to watch. All of the characters are a blast to watch and range from being over the top evil to sly and meticulous. Granted, I wouldn't call any of the characters in <i>Kakegurui </i>deep or interesting, but that's not what <i>Kakegurui </i>wants to be. It's style over substance and just has fun reveling in its insane glee. You get a certain thrill watching each episode and are constantly on the edge of your seat. <a href="http://i.imgur.com/geZln8C.jpg">And the faces</a>. <a href="http://i.imgur.com/2otB8vp.jpg?1">My god the glorious faces</a>.<br />
<br />
But yeah, the show is kind of one note, so I can't justify it being in the Top 5. But I will say this; <i>Kakegurui </i>has the best OP of the year! Don't believe me? <a href="https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5sarwi">Just listen to this and start grooving</a>!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#5: <i>Juni Taisen: Zodiac War</i></td></tr>
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A controversial choice I'm sure, given how the middle is pretty middling and the same themes are repeated every episode, but I still really dug <i>Juni Taisen</i>. Maybe it has to do with the character designs. Maybe it has to do with the fun action scenes. Or maybe it has to do with the final episode and learning about how complex this game could have actually been. At the end of the say though, I was satisfied while watching <i>Juni Taisen</i>. I got to know several likeable characters and their stories were fun to listen to.<br />
<br />
Rat, Tiger, Rabbit, Dog, Board, and Chicken were easily the best characters in the show, and the focus was placed on them for the beginning and ending of the show. I would much rather have a show start and end strongly with the middle failing than vice versa. I would have preferred if the entire show was as good as its first and last three episodes, but beggars can't be choosers. Chalk this one up as my guilty pleasure of the year, cause I couldn't get enough of this 90's throwback/ultra violence wannabe.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#4: <i>Land of the Lustrous</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Oh <i>Land of the Lustrous</i>. You were too beautiful for this world.<br />
<br />
Relegated to the confines of Anime Strike, I don't think a lot of people were able to actually watch <i>Land of the Lustrous </i>as it aired. If you were able to though, you would have found a highly captivating and unbelievably pretty show. Every episode was a visual treat and that is not a statement I would say lightly for a 3DCG show. When you can have me gawk at a character simply looking at something, you've done something right.<br />
<br />
And I haven't even talked about the characters yet. Phos is one of the best anime protagonists of the year with her eager attitude and how it changes over time. We see Phos mature from being a child into a teenager, angst and all, and I can't wait to see how she grows in the second season that needs to be made. The other characters are also equally interesting, like Cinnabar and Antarcticite, but this is Phos' show at the end of the day. She's the heart and soul of <i>Land of the Lustrous </i>and what makes the show really shine.<br />
<br />
If there was anything that stopped me from putting this any higher on the list, it mostly has to do with where the series stopped. The entire season was dedicated to Phos finding a purpose and once she has a purpose and a new goal in mind, the show just ends. No resolution, no grand closing, just a to be continued that screams "Go read the manga". Even if the ending in a non-entity, it doesn't affect my love for <i>Land of the Lustrous </i>in any way. Go watch it and hope we get a sequel.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlK3hd_qQbSpwoZxhYQF6tSQYxmrRmVezR-gpeh5Co0CFRzKhtpiSNraBwmHBgZzR1SS5pt-pKp2czOsvTx5NuJZRCl245h0yyixGV0A8IhhFLLqxxrHaSZCTgiWz3q0cGN3Ah2YoAs6vZ/s1600/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlK3hd_qQbSpwoZxhYQF6tSQYxmrRmVezR-gpeh5Co0CFRzKhtpiSNraBwmHBgZzR1SS5pt-pKp2czOsvTx5NuJZRCl245h0yyixGV0A8IhhFLLqxxrHaSZCTgiWz3q0cGN3Ah2YoAs6vZ/s400/maxresdefault.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#3: <i>Kekkai Sensen & Beyond (Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond)</i></td></tr>
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I knew that we would eventually get a sequel to my 2015 Anime of the Year, but I was never expecting it to be as different as this one was. On the surface, <i>B3&B </i>may look like the same series as its predecessor, but their goals are entirely different. The first season was an action show with grand ideas and world building, the second season is a smaller affair more focused on the characters and what makes them tick. Learning more about the characters is great, but I can't lie when I say I wish we had more of the over-the-top action from before.<br />
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It's best to judge <i>B3&B </i>on an episode by episode basis, and with the exception of maybe two or three, all of them knocked it out of the park. We got an episode dedicated to our favorite werewolf espionage agent. The butler was able to show off his driving skills and kick some serious ass. We saw everyone's day off and how that went, from a drinking contest with Chain to seeing Zapp find a cat by midnight or else his unmentionables will fall off. Wholesome fun!<br />
<br />
I just recently talked about <i>B3&B </i>not even a few days ago, so take a look at my Fall 2017 roundup to see some more in depth thoughts about this show. Long story short, <i>Blood Blockade Battlefront </i>is able to succeed by its source material alone and by the sheer charm of its world and characters. Kudos to you Yasuhiro Nightow!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#2: <i>Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid</i></td></tr>
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I'm always a sucker for a good comedy done right. If you show me a comedy that's frenetic, has likeable characters, and just a touch of crazy, I can easily fall in love with it. My favorite comedy of the year wasn't even a close choice. <i>Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid </i>was over the top and I loved every second of it.<br />
<br />
<i>Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid </i> is a slice-of-life comedy that does the rare feat of making me care about it's characters as actual people rather than fodder for jokes. Kobayashi is a great lead and seeing her interact and care for Tohru and Kanna is strangely heart warming. More often than not, the jokes are home runs and the running gags are just as funny.<br />
<br />
I realize it's hard to talk about what makes a comedy so good through text. If I try and explain why the jokes work or why the show has heart, you have the potential of ruining the jokes or over hyping a show. I don't want to over hype <i>Miss Kobayashi</i> because it's best to go into it and just have fun. Don't expect the greatest comedy you've ever seen, but just go in expecting a pleasant and fun little time. The fact that I was invested in the show until the final episode where they ratcheted up the drama and I actually cared about it was shocking to me. A comedy about a maid obsessed office worker and her lesbian dragon maid actually made me care about how they'll end up. This was easily the best show from the first half of 2017 that I saw and I have no shame in saying so.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#1: <i>Made in Abyss</i></td></tr>
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We don't get shows like <i>Made in Abyss</i> anymore.<br />
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An fantasy epic at heart, <i>Made in Abyss </i>will fill you with joy and hope before crushing it beyond repair, only to reinstill the value of life back in you. This show is a masterclass in how to make your audience feel for characters and hope for them to survive. Riko and Reg are good kids that have a simple goal; get to the bottom of the Abyss because Riko's dead mom sent her a letter telling her to go there. What follows is a fascinating exploration about humanity, friendship, and keeping hope alive in a hopeless world.<br />
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When you're not enjoying your time spent with the characters, you're staring in awe at the beautiful world and the creatures surrounding it. Yes they're monsters, but you never feel like they're out to kill our heroes. Riko and Reg are just exploring a world that they're intruding in. And when horrifying stuff does happen to them... wow is it painful to see. It's not even because these are terrible events happening to children, but this would be grizzly to see in any situation, child or not. It could be easy to call this a sadistic show and that the only reason you're able to feel anything is because who wouldn't be emotionally effected by watching children suffer, but that's not true once you see that there are plenty of moments of hope and optimism sprinkled through this bleak adventure. These characters want to explore the Abyss and some of the people that they encounter truly do make them change for the better.<br />
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<i>Made in Abyss </i>also has the distinct honor of being one of only a couple of shows that have actually succeeded in making me cry. The final episode was dramatic, painful, hopefully, and tragic all in one and actually moved me to tears over the most heart wrenching scene in any anime this year. To anyone who has seen this show, you know exactly which one I'm talking about. I never once felt manipulated while I was watching <i>Made in Abyss</i>. I never felt like the series was forcing me to cry or to be scared. Everything felt natural and justified, and that's a rare claim to make for an anime.<br />
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When I was writing this post originally, I had said that it was unfortunate that Anime Strike had this and <i>Land of the Lustrous </i>cordoned off behind an absurd paywall. In a stroke of fate, Anime Strike is now dissolved and all of its titles are free for Amazon Prime users. Now you can watch this show without having to be a part of a terrible business strategy! I adored this show unlike any other show and I'm begging you to check it out immediately. With a second season confirmed and more information to come about one of the most despicable characters in the show, I can't wait until we return to the Abyss and see what's dwelling inside.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-71081056875138957552018-01-01T13:49:00.000-08:002018-01-01T13:49:17.894-08:00Seasonal Orders: Winter 2018<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Why is it so frigid outside???<br />
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Happy New Year one and all! I hope that your 2017 ended on a high note with festive greetings, fond family moments, sleep, and looking back on the past year with nothing but fondness. Personally, I really loved 2017! It had tons of great things to talk about, some horrible things, and I personally just had a great time doing some traveling and getting a consistent schedule out for this site. Speaking, of, let's talk about what you can expect for the new year, starting with...<br />
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<b>NEW SITE?</b><br />
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I've been thinking about this for a while, but I've come to the decision that by the end of 2018 I will be leaving Blogger. I know that I have been here since the beginning way back in 2013, but I think that by my 5 year anniversary I'll move on to a different site and greener pastures.<br />
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That isn't to say that I'm going to stop reviewing. There's no signs that I'm going to stop anytime soon and I'm going to keep chugging away at new content for you. However, there's a bit of a snag that ties directly into this goal; Patreon. I established Patreon some time ago in a effort to get some extra pocket change out of all of this. I do have some money in coming from it, but at only $5 a month, it isn't exactly enough to support buying a new domain, designing the site, and managing it. I've been trying to figure out how to best allow people to support the site through Patreon, and I've come to a couple of decisions.<br />
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1) I'm going to remove all perks and benefits from Patreon. I had plenty of tiers with different rewards under them, but instead I'm going to have one tier. If you donate a dollar to my Patreon, you'll get exclusive access to everything. You can vote for the next review I'll do, which is going to be a quarterly thing, if not twice a quarter, you'll get reviews a day early on Sundays while everyone else will get a review on Monday, and if I have any other side projects that I create like podcasts, videos, or anything else that I decide to do.<br />
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2) These changes are going to go into effect once I return from my vacation. I'm going to take January off again and unwind, but when I return in February I'll start this new format of delivery.<br />
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3) Even though the Critical Order is completely free and I'm going to do it no matter what, especially with the recent Patreon scare where people were being charged extra for their payments, I can understand why someone would be hesitant to donate a dollar and be charged a bit more than that. It makes total sense to me and I certainly don't hold that against you. But I want to deliver the best experience possible to my readers and if that requires a bit of extra money, I want to be able to give that to you all.<br />
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Bottom line, please consider donating to the Patreon to help fund the new site. I can guarantee that it'll only make your enjoyment of my stuff better, easier to follow, and it can hopefully reach out to more people and create more discussions. <a href="https://www.patreon.com/thecriticalorder">The link to my Patreon is here</a>. Even if you can't donate any money, please consider sharing this with a friend or someone who may be interested. The new site isn't going to pop up overnight and you'll have plenty of time for preparing for the new change.<br />
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<b>BEST OF 2017 LISTS</b><br />
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As is the case every year, it's time to look back at the best and worst that 2017 had to offer! I'll be following the same format as previous years where each entry is three days apart. I'm pushing the first post back a little bit just so I can have the time to catch up on a few extra games and movies before I start posting, so here is when you can expect my Year in Review lists!<br />
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1/5 - Top 5 Best Anime of 2017<br />
1/8 - Top 10 Worst Movies of 2017<br />
1/11 - Top 5 Best Games of 2017<br />
1/14 - Top 10 Best Movies of 2017<br />
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After I get all of those out, it'll be break time again until the end of January, beginning of February. Well, with on little exception...<br />
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<b>ONE PIECE</b><br />
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As you can see, I failed at getting the end of the East Blue arc by the end of 2017. Things just got a bit too busy around here for their own good and I had to put the series on the back burner... again. However, I can safely say that I am over halfway done with the post and it will be done shortly... if it wasn't for the Year in Review lists.<br />
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So during my vacation I'm going to finish getting the East Blue arc completed. It'll be done by the end of the month and we can keep on going with the original plan of starting the Baroque Works arc by the end of March. Expect it to get done when it's done, but it hopefully won't be all that long.<br />
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<b>MOVIES</b><br />
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As I've said plenty of times before, I'm taking my yearly vacation for January. Nothing much of interest comes out anyway, so it's a fair compromise while I recharge myself. Once I come back though, there's a surprising amount of movies that are coming out that I actually want to talk about. Some look great, some look like garbage, and some I'm genuinely curious about. With only so much time to talk about them, here's the tentative schedule for now.<br />
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2/4 - God Particle<br />
2/11 - Fifty Shades Freed<br />
2/18 - Black Panther<br />
2/25 - One Piece: Unlimited Retrospective - Baroque Works Pt. 1<br />
3/4 - The Banjo Kazooie Retrospective<br />
3/11 - A Wrinkle in Time<br />
3/18 - Tomb Raider<br />
3/25 - VIEWER VOTE (Pacific Rim: Uprising, Isle of Dogs, Mary and the Witch's Flower)<br />
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For those of you wondering, whatever doesn't win the vote for the Viewer Vote can still be reviewed by me, but much further down the line for a Triple Feature. So the Viewer Vote is pretty much for what you would rather hear me talk about first. Voting will go live a month before the review and you will have until three days before, March 22nd, to vote on it. And as always, there is going to be a little post talking about the Oscars after they air in March.<br />
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<b>VIDEO GAMES</b><br />
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After an outstanding year in gaming, it only makes sense that 2018 looks like it's going to be a slow one. There aren't that many stellar games announced and the ones that are aren't slated to release until later in the year. So really, there's not much for me to talk about this winter for games. I mean, maybe we'll get <i>Kirby Star Allies </i>before April, but that's a stretch if anything. I'm personally just waiting for more <i>Bayonetta 3, Kingdom Hearts III, Huniepop 2</i>, and whatever the hell Team Salvatto is cooking up. So... yeah, stay tuned for later on I guess.<br />
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<b>ANIME</b><br />
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Winter is starting up, a bunch of shows look pretty interesting, and I don't really know how to segue into talking about these shows. Maybe they'll be better than last winter but I can't tell. Here's what I plan on watching at least!<br />
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<i>The Ancient Magus' Bride</i><br />
<i>Darling in the FRANXX</i><br />
<i>citrus</i><br />
<i>Beatless</i><br />
<i>Violent Evergarden</i><br />
<i>Overlord II</i><br />
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And that's all she wrote for this update! I'll see you all in a few days for the annual lists, then I'll see you all again in February with <i>God Particle </i>(if it actually releases).Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-6864198734007033162017-12-31T12:04:00.001-08:002017-12-31T12:05:32.267-08:00Fall Anime 2017 Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Now THIS was a great season.<br />
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<a href="https://www.patreon.com/thecriticalorder" target="_blank">Click here to donate to my Patreon!</a> If you read my reviews and want to see more and want to be a Patron for a site I love, please donate and become a supporter!<br />
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Happy New Year's Ever everyone! I had a fantastic holiday break where I got the family together for Christmas, saw old friends, felt festive and merry, and binged an ungodly amount of anime for this list!<br />
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So I may have done a bit of a poor job keeping up to date with all of the shows that were airing this season. Out of the six shows that I saw, I only followed two weekly. One of them I completely forgot about until the finale aired. One show I picked up two days ago because of all of the praise I've heard for it. All of the other shows were binged in a most glorious fashion and if I can be pretty honest, while 2017 wasn't exactly the best year for anime (I'll get into that more with the Best Anime of 2017 list), we at least ended with the strongest season of the year. Every show that I was able to watch was fantastic in some degree and I just enjoyed watching all of the shows that I did. It was the first time all year that I felt excited about watching anime as it aired.<br />
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So let's not dawdle around and let's just dive right in. Six shows, go!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond</i></td></tr>
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Oh look, a sequel to my favorite anime of 2015! When the news broke that we were getting more <i>BBB</i>, I squealed a little bit. How rare is it to get a sequel to an anime that isn't a massive financial success or a long running Shonen manga? Well don't give me the math and figures, cause I just want to sit and enjoy the escapades of Libra in Hellsalem's Lot.<br />
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I'm going to go ahead and put a link to my original review of the series here. Read this, get acquainted with the series, or even go watch it on Crunchyroll. It's 12 episodes, it's a ton of fun, then comeback and we'll keep going, alright? Alright.<br />
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<br /></div>
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At first glance, <i>Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond </i>(<i>B3&B</i>) is a bit of a step down from the original series. The action isn't as frenetic, there's no overarching plot about Satan or even an overarching plot at all, the former director isn't around, and the series has weird moments where it'll get bizarrely dark during action scenes. I don't mean in the thematic sense, I just mean that it's going to be hard to see because the screen will dim. I'm sure there's a reason behind it, but visually <i>B3&B </i>took a hit in its second season. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Now don't worry. This doesn't mean that the show has become average or even mediocre (outside of a lame two parter). Instead, the season decides to take a more character driven focus. While the first season was all about high concept action revolving around Leo and occasionally a side character or two, it was the exact opposite here. We got character focused episodes that rarely dealt with Leo except when he appeared as a supporting character. We got to see more of Stephen Starphase, Chain the Werewolf, K.K and her family, Zed the fish man, and the bandaged butler Gilbert even got an episode. If you were disappointed last season about how the members of Libra were never fleshed out then <i>B3&B </i>is here to satisfy you. But is it enough to satisfying the downgrade in action?</div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Personally, while I do think the first season was better just because of its scope and outstanding animation, the second season succeeds in different areas. Hellsalem's Lot is expanded upon even more and the characters actually feel like characters instead of just superpowers with faces. It tries to do something different, but the source material is so strong that it still elevates this series into one of the best of the season. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Dies Irae</i></td></tr>
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<div>
Holy crap you guys. I know that I said that <i>Hand Shakers </i>was one of the worst anime I've ever seen, and it still is, but <i>Dies Irae </i>is glorious insanity. Not "artificially inseminated with Hitler" levels of nuts, but more along the lines of God Hitler piloting a giant golden spaceship at our teenage hero. It's gloriously terrible to the point where you can get a few good friends together and just tear this show apart for laughs. </div>
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If you've never heard of <i>Dies Irae </i>before, I wouldn't blame you. The anime is an adaptation of a visual novel and a crowdfunded one at that. Yes, this anime was crowdfunded which goes to show that fans at least believe that the story is good enough to warrant it. I mean if it wasn't then why would someone donate money into this production? But man oh man is this a trip. </div>
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Out story revolves around Ren, a high school boy that has constant dreams and visions of a girl in a guillotine. This girl is a sign of things to come and incidents start appearing all around his city that is bringing it into chaos. And who is responsible for this invasion? A Nazi officer named Heydrich, who is so overwhelmingly powerful that he makes Sephiroth look like a pansy. This guy has a battleship, insane Nazi followers, and their goal is to start a war to revive a God or something? Look, there are superpowered <i>Hellsing </i>Nazis that are totally nuts and have to be stopped.</div>
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Now you may be thinking to yourself "Why would I want to watch a show like this? This sounds dumb." And you're right! It is dumb! It's so dumb and terrible that there are so many laugh out loud horrible moments in it. Ever want to see a woman give birth to a teenage boy? Here you go! Want to see a giant golden skeleton crush a building? Done! Have you been craving for an anime with truly awkward and unnatural dancing set opposite of grizzly murder? Does <i>Dies Irae </i>have you covered!</div>
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When the series isn't on fire and we have slower moments we get some of the most hackneyed and dull drama you've ever seen. Harems, a Sasuke rival, and weird interdimmensional sci-fi mumbo jumbo abound and all of it is terrible, but in just the right way. And do you want to know what makes it even better? There are technically six more episodes that have yet to air. The series is incomplete with the final six episodes airing online, but just imagine this for a moment. A show with ratcheting insanity where our hero hasn't even fought against one of the major goons of Heydrich the super Nazi... and it's television run ends before anything substantial happened. No resolution, nothing! <i>Dies Irae </i>is awful but in the perfect combination of over ambition and sheer WTF-ery.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Juni Taisen: Zodiac War</i></td></tr>
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Taking a step back from the moronic tendencies of <i>Dies Irae</i>, here's the most polarizing show of the season. <i>Juni Taisen: Zodiac War</i> was a show that had people bored out of their minds, pissed off at what they were seeing, engaged in the conflict of the show, and were surprised at how effective it was at its goals. <i>Juni Taisen </i>is less of a compelling experience and more of a statement of a show and I can totally understand why people are mixed about it. </div>
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Once every 12 years, the 12 families of the Zodiac households send a representative from their clan to compete in the Juni Taisen. The goal of the Juni Taisen is simple; kill everyone else and you can have one wish granted. So our show revolves around 12 different representations of the Chinese Zodiac killing each other in fun and entertaining battles while flashing back to their backstories and what brought them to the tournament. </div>
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So the idea behind <i>Juni Taisen </i>seems pretty straightforward. It's a killing game with wacky warriors that all have unique powers. Boar has unlimited ammunition, Tiger gets drunk to kill people, Rabbit is a naked necromantist in high heels with a poofy bunny tail and is the best character in the show, the Snake brothers are literally the worst, you get the idea. But while the show has a fantastic beginning and a solid ending, the middle is what causes a lot of people to lower their opinions of it. Without giving anything away, we spend half of the series with characters that no one really cares about so we can learn about their backstories only for them to die by the episode's end. This doesn't happen all of the time, but it happens often enough. <i>Juni Taisen </i>has a bag of tricks it likes to use, but instead of varying up those tricks it instead opts to use them again and again. It's predictable is what I'm saying. </div>
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For a show like this, your enjoyment is going to stem from how much you like some of the characters and how much you can tolerate knowing how the series will end. From the second episode it's pretty easy to piece together who will win the Juni Taisen. The series doesn't go in any unexpected directions minus the twist regarding the winner and their powers. What you get is what you get and you better be ready for constant flashbacks about how war is awful and truly evil. </div>
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But do I like it? Oddly enough, yes. I actually really enjoy <i>Juni Taisen</i>. I will admit that the middle part of the show is not very good and most of the characters are lifeless (literally), but the show shines in its action scenes and when the series puts a focus on some of the better characters. Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Boar, and Chicken are all fun, and the twist with Dog is one of my favorite moments in the show. It isn't for everyone and it does drop the ball plenty of times with its musing about the nature of war and with spending too much time with bad characters, but it was definitely a guilty pleasure for me. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Kino's Journey: The Beautiful World</i></td></tr>
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<i>Kino's Journey </i>is a bit of a cult classic anime and given that this was an early 2000's anime that's saying a lot. We don't really get cult classic anime series, especially ones about a person traveling around and exploring the world and the people in it. <i>Kino's Journey </i>is very similar to <i>Mushi-shi</i> in that it involves a person encountering different situations every episode with no overriding narrative. It's a quaint little show that had some really great moments and is still remembered fondly to this day. <i>Kino's Journey The Beautiful World</i>? What a major disappointment.<br />
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The premise is still the same as the original series. Kino drives around to a bunch of different countries, stays for three days, and experiences the culture and people. They all turn out to be modern fables and reflect lessons on society and nature, or at least they should accomplish that. What <i>The Beautiful World </i>fails at is that there are three types of stories on display; the good ones, the dumb ones, and the action ones. </div>
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The good episodes speak for themselves. They're good episodes that reflect <i>Kino's Journey </i>at its finest and envelops the viewer into its world. The first episode of this series is a perfect example of that, featuring a nation where murder is legal and what kind of people would live in a country like that or what kind of people would go there. Then you have the dumb ones, involving plots that are so inane that they feel like they belong in another series, a series that doesn't have a legacy like this. We have an episode here that features two people that are in love, except the man thinks he killed his love and became an emotional wreck, only for his assistant to take care of him and it turns out that she's actually his lover who faked her death, but the crazy man knew this and thinks that being crazy is the only way she'll stay with him. I mean... that's just spectacularly dumb. </div>
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But <i>The Beautiful World</i>'s biggest problem are the frequent action episodes. These are episodes where violence is not just the theme, but the solution. Kino will frequently shoot people, shoot at innocents, allow an entire nation to destroy another one, and kill homicidal sheep. Now I don't have any problem with violence in anime. Hell, just look at my adoration for <i>B3&B</i>. But action needs a purpose and has to fit the situation. It wouldn't make sense if you were watching <i>Mr. Roger's Neighborhood </i>only for him to start a fistfight with another person to teach kids how to defend themselves. You can try to justify it as much as you want in the context of the show, violence just doesn't fit the overall themes and purpose. </div>
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The same is true for <i>The Beautiful World</i>. Violence is a part of this world and Kino is usually involved in it and her desires become a bit uncomfortable. She willingly allows a nation to steamroll into another one and destroy countless lives and houses instead of finding a way for both nations to prosper. Now you can say that that was the point of the story that it was trying to tell, but the story doesn't mesh with the other stories told in the series. If the moving, technologically advanced nation is a symbol of capitalism and how it crushes over anything that opposes it and refuses to stop, why did we need Kino to have a sniper rifle shooting at moving cars of soldiers?</div>
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If you can't tell, I didn't enjoy The Beau<i>tiful World </i>very much. There were maybe two episodes that I thought were legitimately thought provoking, but as a sequel to a beloved anime classic that didn't have a bad episode in the bunch, this was a big letdown. At least we still have the original series.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Land of the Lustrous</i></td></tr>
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I had the biggest uphill battle against <i>Land of the Lustrous</i>. On the surface, it appeared to me like a perfect recipe for failure. It's a show about anthropomorphized gems defending the Earth from alien invaders. There's one human in the group who serves as the group's leader. All of the gems have their own unique personalities. It's a 3DCG show, and those tend to look absolutely awful. Everything was against <i>Land of the Lustrous</i>, and yet I think it's the most beautiful show of the year and an easy contender for anime of the year. It's mind boggling. </div>
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Our story revolves around Phos, the youngest of the gems. Phos is trying to find a role for themselves in the gem community since everyone else has a purpose. Some gems fight against the Lunarians, beings from the moon that want to harvest the gems for jewelry and weapons, some are caretakers, some are medics, and some are strategists. Phos is nothing, so they gets tasked by the leader of the gems, Sensei Kongo, to create an encyclopedia about the Earth, much to their chagrin. What follows is a coming of age story that completely changes Phos, but is it for the better?</div>
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I can't state it enough, <i>Land of the Lustrous </i>is <a href="https://78.media.tumblr.com/619fdf04f8ded01bca4ba7e8cba9088d/tumblr_oxihjuk3zA1txk3v5o1_540.gif">absolutely</a>, <a href="http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/301/767/536.gif">undeniably</a>, <a href="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e575faea0e72745e37cb58f555f8f600/tumblr_oxhpydAQm31tndn6wo1_500.gif">gorgeous</a>. It's astounding just how seemless all of the animation is and how none of the characters every look wrong or bizarre to me. When you look at shows like <i>Berserk </i>and <a href="http://i.imgur.com/YQVHzLJ.gif">how piss poor ugly the CG was in that show</a>, and then you look at <i>Land of the Lustrous</i>, it's like night and day. I can now officially say that 3DCG shows can truly be something special and any other CG show has no excuse for looking repugnant anymore. </div>
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Getting away from the jaw dropping visuals, <i>Land of the Lustrous</i>'s secret weapon is Phos, one of the most likeable characters of the year. To see the arc that they have gone through is something truly spectacular. We watch them deal with inadequacy, finding a purpose, grief, regret, and self-loathing. And yet despite all of that, they still pushes on and try to be a better person and be useful to the other gems. They're one-sided friendship with Cinnabar is a key example of this, beginning and ending the show with a promise to them that goes to show the devotion and sympathy Phos can elicit. </div>
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By the end of the show we get some small glimpes into the other 20 or so gems and all of them feel truly fleshed out. If we were to get future seasons, and we NEED to have future seasons, you could theoretically make it about any of these gems and the result would still be compelling and fascinating. I loved <i>Land of the Lustrous </i>and it was easily my most surprising show of the season. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The Ancient Magus' Bride</i></td></tr>
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Chise is a woman who sells herself into slavery. She hates her mother and pretty much hates her life, so she decides to sell herself to the highest bidder because why the hell not? She gets bought, but she gets bought by a really unusual man. Her buyer is a man named Elias, who is a mage and is known as the Mage of Thorns. Elias senses magic inside of Chise's body and vows to train her to become his apprentice, despite his monstrous appearance and lack of understanding emotions.. Oh, and he also buys her to become his bride. ROMANCE!</div>
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In all seriousness, I can joke about how the intro does not paint Elias in a good light, but <i>The Ancient Magus' Bride </i>is actually a really good show. I hesitate to say that it's fantastic like so many other say it is simply because the show is still airing and with air in the winter, but <i>The Ancient Magus' Bride </i>is a compelling little romance with a classical sense of magic. We get magic in the same veins as <i>Lord of the Rings </i>or <i>Dungeons & Dragons </i>as opposed to modern magic where people can just cast magic out of nowhere. Magic has a sense of wonder in this series and ever little moment with it is just blissful. When a person casts a spell, it's like watching a truly spectacular event. It's not every episode, but it's enough to leave an impact. </div>
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As for Chise and Elias, you wouldn't expect the romance between these two to be so gripping, but it's the best thing about this show. Chise grows from being a quite and sad character to a strong, caring woman who wants to help and protect Elias. Meanwhile, Elias is an enigma of a character. He doesn't know where he came from, still doesn't really understand human emotions, and his goals at first are entirely for his own benefit. But as time goes on, he genuinely grows to care for Chise and is willing to defend her, despite his inhumane tendencies. </div>
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I can't say much more about this show, and the quality of the show will most likely improve as we learn more and more about this world and see Chise and Elias grow to truly love each other, but if you're not watching this show now, be sure to catch up and start watching it for 2018. </div>
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OVERALL RANKING</div>
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Thank God 2017 ended on a high note! There were so many great show that I've watched that it was a challenge just to rank them. Except for <i>Dies Irae </i>and <i>Kino's Journey</i>. Both shows share the dubious honor of being the worst of the season, though I will give the nod to <i>Dies Irae </i>for actually being enjoyable amidst its gibbering lunacy. </div>
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The other four were incredibly hard to place, but I view <i>Juni Taisen </i>and <i>The Ancient Magus' Bride </i>as being the same in terms of enjoyment. One is a bloody action show that had some solid moments in it while the other is a calm and beautiful fantasy romance. I'm sure that my overall enjoyment for <i>The Ancient Magus' Bride </i>will grow and I'll question why the hell I thought it was just as good as <i>Juni Taisen</i>, but that's for later on down the road. </div>
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As for which is my favorite anime of the season, it's a tricky choice. Both <i>Land of the Lustrous </i>and <i>B3&B </i>are great and I can imagine both shows being the best show of the season. If I had to choose, I would say that <i>Land of the Lustrous </i>was the better of the two shows, but <i>B3&B </i>is going to take the top spot. It's not because I love the original season, though my previous history with these characters made it easier to enjoy this season, but it's mostly because I watched <i>B3&B </i>as it aired. I waited for each episode to come out every week and I would lap it up with gusto. <i>Land of the Lustrous </i>was a show that I binged, so I didn't really get time to let each development sink and and really impact me. Incredibly tough call, and maybe I might clarify this for my Best of 2017 list if they both make it (they will), but for now <i>Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond </i>is my favorite anime of Fall 2017. </div>
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BLOOD BLOCKADE BATTLEFRONT & BEYOND</div>
LAND OF THE LUSTROUS<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
THE ANCIENT MAGUS' BRIDE</div>
JUNI TAISEN: ZODIAC WAR<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
DIES IRAE</div>
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KINO'S JOURNEY: THE BEAUTIFUL WORLD</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-32171089879003771102017-12-17T20:03:00.000-08:002017-12-17T20:03:10.824-08:00Star Wars: The Last Jedi Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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No, there will not be spoilers. Yes, there's a lot to say about this one.<br />
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The process of actually writing a review is something I've never given much thought about when I first started out writing. Back then, I would just write about my own opinion and tell it like it is without much finesse. To me, writing a review was just getting my thoughts down in a somewhat cohesive matter and just letting it stand. Sure, I would go back and edit a review for grammatical mistakes (and fail at that), but I never really went back and rewrote a review before. My opinion tends to stay exactly as it was when I first saw it, unless I look back on it later in the year or a few years later.<br />
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I had to rewrite my <i>Last Jedi </i>review three times. I was never satisfied with how I wrote it, and even then I'm still not 100% satisfied with it now, but it's the best barometer of my feelings at the moment.<br />
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<i>The Last Jedi </i>has opinions that range all over the place. Some people adore it and call it the best <i>Star Wars </i>movie since <i>Emprie Strikes Back</i>. Other people have been calling it the worst <i>Star Wars </i>movie since <i>The Phantom Menace</i>. There are two very distinct groups voicing there opinion, but the fact that there's such backlash against this movie is fascinating. <i>The Last Jedi </i>has become both the best and the worst movie in the franchise, and even if you are an ardent fan of the series, you have to at least admit that <i>The Last Jedi </i>deserves some examination as to why a person would hate it that much. Yes, some fanboys can whine and moan about pointless aspects as the reason for it's lack of quality, but there's something substantial here. People have legitimate points on both sides, but diehard fans have to admit that maybe <i>The Last Jedi </i>can ruffle some fan's feathers.<br />
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I'm not going to spoil anything here, but let me just try and explain what the hell is happening here.<br />
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Now when I say no spoilers, I'm not even going to give a plot synopsis. This is a movie where you need to go into it blind to fully appreciate it, and if you're reading this review now it either means that you saw it already or you just want to hear what an cynical New Jerseyian has to say about <i>The Last Jedi. </i><br />
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Anyway, first let me get the good out of the way. This is a phenomenally shot movie and has several moments that are just jaw dropping to see. Never before has light speed been so engaging and delivering such a beautiful series of shots. Even when I was sitting in the theatre, all I could think about was how good the movie looked. The sets, the planets, the little tiny character moments, all of them were just beautiful to witness.<br />
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But a movie is more than just visuals. It's about plot, and characters, and themes, and ideas. This is where <i>The Last Jedi </i>gets trickier to talk about, because the entire point of this movie is to subvert your expectations. The movie zags where it should zig, and overall I don't really mind that to be perfectly honest. The twists that are implemented here lead the franchise into new and different territory that was never explored before and it's exciting in a way. However, while the movie may take the series into a new direction, there is some fallout from it.<br />
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It took me a while to really pin down what got under my skin so much about this movie, but it was more or less that everything that happened here was pointless. Characters didn't progress from where they were at the end of <i>The Force Awakens</i>. Rey is still in the same position that she was in, Finn had a subplot that dragged and didn't amount to much, and Poe's presence literally amounted to nothing. Oh sure, each character did things, but what did they really amount to? When Poe is flying around in a X-Wing, what did he really do? When he's on the ground, does he actually do anything? A huge chunk of this movie could just be cut entirely and it would have flowed much easier.<br />
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And that's just our heroes. When you look at the villains, outside of Kylo Ren, who is easily the best character in this new trilogy, they really amounted to nothing. Captain Phasma, General Hux, and Snoke amount to nothing and legitimately hurt the movie for their lack of purpose. Years of hype and anticipation have all been built up to this and because the movie attempts to do something different, it throws away any ideas that could have had potential. It seems like concepts that were presented in <i>The Force Awakens </i>were just tossed aside in favor of this new direction. Were you interested in Snoke, the rise of the First Order, the Knights of Ren, why Luke left a map to his self exile when he said he never wanted to be found, the visions that Rey received when she touched Luke's lightsaber, how Luke's lightsaber got to where it was, and Finn's backstory getting some explanation? So am I.<br />
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I would argue that this was the weakest <i>Star Wars </i>has ever been with its characters with the exception of the development that Kylo Ren goes through. Its characters exist just to meander through the story, but there's no development here. Rey is in the same place at the end of <i>The Last Jedi </i>that she was in <i>The Force Awakens</i>. She goes to Luke for training and she does undergo some training, but it doesn't change her fighting style or allow her to gain some new perspective on the Force. And let's talk about Luke, shall we.<br />
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Luke Skywalker is a tricky character to discuss here because while he's played phenomenally by Mark Hamill and has some of the best scenes in the movie, this movie decides to both honor him and tarnish his legacy, When we discover why he's in self exile, it may seem cool and interesting at the beginning, but even with the slightest bit of thought it just ruins his character. Luke is a man who even after he fought against Darth Vader, knowing that Vader was his father and knowing that Vader has committed genocide and has subjugated millions, he still believes there is good in his father. He still believes that the infamous Darth Vader can be saved. In <i>The Last Jedi</i>? He's afraid of the dark side and is willing to kill anyone who has been tainted by it. He's older and more wise yes, but Luke if Luke would try to save Vader, that makes his actions here harmful to his character.<br />
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But again, he's played phenomenally by Luke and there are a ton of interesting moments with him that expand the lore of the series. We learn more about the Jedi religion, its inception, what it means to be a Jedi, more explanations on the Force, and we get some tantalizing details about the balance between the Jedi and the Sith. When the movie took a step back to doll out more information about the universe, it was some really compelling stuff.<br />
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Those moments were then soiled by what's probably the most ludicrous use of the Force I've seen in a while. I know that this may be an unpopular opinion, even by people that have problems with this movie, but I just had to say that now Force users are superheroes. The Force, in the original trilogy, was something more spiritual that only a few people could truly use, but when a person could use the Force they could do some impressive feats with it. The prequel trilogy brought in the Jesus metaphor with the Force, but now the Force is pretty much super powers. If you have the Force, you can do anything. Force users in this movie do some pretty impressive feats, but they eventually get blown way out of proportions. </div>
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When we see one villain use Force powers early in the movie, it proves that they're a threat to be reckoned with. When everyone else uses the Force to accomplish astral projection, mind melding, or flight in the freaking vacuum of space, that's not showing how powerful these characters are; that's just using the Force as a plot device. Do these two characters need to talk? Use the Force. Do we need to see that this character is awesome or cool? Use the Force. Do we want to break every definition of what the Force is because Kylo and Rey are two super uber powerful Jedi and we want to raise the stakes? Use the Force. The Force has become to <i>Star Wars </i>what Nanomachines have become to <i>Metal Gear</i>. </div>
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I would be mad at all of this stuff and it would really let me call this more of a letdown than <i>The Phantom Menace</i>, but the movie is still really enjoyable. I was still on the edge of my seat when I was watching it in the theatre. I wasn't thinking about these plot points or details. I was thinking about how cool everything was and how much fun I was having. Luke may have had his character tampered with, but it was still Luke Skywalker on the big screen again! I'm seeing a lightsaber battle (yes, just one) on the big screen again! I have a permanent grin on my face when fan favorite characters appear on screen and just exist! It succeeds in being entertaining, plain and simple. </div>
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But this is <i>Star Wars</i>. Is entertaining enough? Can it be a good time without much substance? That's really where your own opinion lies and will determine whether or not you like this movie. Some people love the action and the cool character moments and appearances. Others might not enjoy the implications for some characters and how a significant amount of characters are overall pointless to the movie. The only characters that actually accomplish things are Kylo Ren, Luke Skywalker, Rey, and a new character named Amilyn Holdo, played by Laura Dern. That's about it. </div>
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As popular as it may be to call <i>The Force Awakens</i> a rehash of <i>A New Hope</i>, it still created original characters and gave them personalities, some arcs, and told a story that had highs, lows, stakes, and sequences that could make both newcomers and fans happy. I think that <i>The Force Awakens </i>is by far the more superior movie, if only because by the end of the movie I was excited where the story could go. At the end of <i>The Last Jedi</i>, I didn't really care about <i>Episode IX</i>. I just thought I saw a solid movie, but a disappointing <i>Star Wars </i>movie. </div>
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I'm not saying that <i>The Last Jedi </i>is garbage and the worst movie in the series. That's just dumb and it's way too soon to be making calls like that, especially when <i>The Phantom Menace </i>and <i>Attack of the Clones </i>are just laughably bad in terms of... well nearly everything. <i>The Last Jedi </i>is a movie that I need to turn my brain off to really enjoy it. <i>Star Wars </i>has become an experience, an event. Substance is there, but substance is not the main focus of the sequel trilogy. It's interesting in reliving the series former glory, but with 21st century effects, scope, and grandeur. Make of that what you will. </div>
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If you loved it, I can see where that love comes from. It honor <i>Star Wars,</i> expands it to new and more interesting places, and delivers the best action the series has ever seen. If you hate it, I can totally understand it. Several characters are meaningless, the Force has been cheapened, and the story can fold in on itself ridiculously easily. For me, I'm right down the middle. It's not the best, but it's not the worst either. It's a perfectly adequate film, even though <i>Star Wars </i>doesn't feel like a franchise that should just be adequate. Maybe <i>Episode IX </i>will make up for the letdowns. It's certainly in a strong place to do so. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-21652970914130408592017-12-14T12:35:00.000-08:002017-12-14T12:35:00.440-08:00Doki Doki Literature Club vs. Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria Simulator<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3W9S95CpMydOaoJHiHDw2gf5uUQsLDKHY_NhRS_BZi-FzljmNkaoigRxdTYQxFq9oxvdE8i0KxNXflpNwi6GM7WLgs_WI0lLcxzRSNU2k-NNGBfhvV3Ay6_gy7Yfb_8BHH3Fgh5zyyJfb/s1600/header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="216" data-original-width="460" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3W9S95CpMydOaoJHiHDw2gf5uUQsLDKHY_NhRS_BZi-FzljmNkaoigRxdTYQxFq9oxvdE8i0KxNXflpNwi6GM7WLgs_WI0lLcxzRSNU2k-NNGBfhvV3Ay6_gy7Yfb_8BHH3Fgh5zyyJfb/s640/header.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Free Indie game vs. free Indie game!<br />
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<a href="https://www.patreon.com/thecriticalorder" target="_blank">Click here to donate to my Patreon!</a> If you read my reviews and want to see more and want to be a Patron for a site I love, please donate and become a supporter!<br />
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Hey everybody! Who likes free things?<br />
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Everyone!!!<br />
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It's not every day that a developer decides to release a free game. Usually when a developer does this, the game is probably a flash game or something simple that didn't take a lot of time to create. 2017 though has introduced two new games that have way more similarities than I ever thought they would, and both of these games are absolutely free! So I figured that instead of writing two reviews and spending more time working during the holiday season, I just said to hell with it and here we are! <i>Doki Doki Literature Club </i>versus <i>Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria Simulator</i>!<br />
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Now just to warn anyone going into these reviews, I'm going to discuss some spoilers. I'm not going to get into the plot or the twists and turns each game takes, but I'm going to at least address the genre and methods that the games take. For example, I'm not going to talk about the quirks of the characters in <i>Doki Doki</i>, but I will talk about the classic <i>FNAF </i>gameplay that appears in <i>Pizzeria Simulator</i>. If you want to really enjoy the games blind and come back to read this review afterwards, by all means go for it. You can find the link to <a href="https://ddlc.moe/"><i>Doki Doki </i>here</a> and the link for <a href="http://store.steampowered.com/app/738060/Freddy_Fazbears_Pizzeria_Simulator/"><i>Pizzeria Simulator </i>here</a>. They're free. Just go and play them. It'll take about 2-4 hours for each game. Just do it.<br />
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So let's get to know our two games before comparing them, shall we? First off we have <i>Doki Doki Literature Club</i>, a visual novel dating sim where you are able to talk to a bunch of girls in your high school's Literature Club and write poetry to impress them. Then we have <i>Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria Simulator</i>, a restaurant management game where you manage a pizzeria and try to make it as profitable as possible. Oh by the way, horrifying things happen in both of these games that may or may not scar you for life. But which is the better free Indie game?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghQS-1REpzMVp4TpcgAOMotkakhaqNlbJVW7IauA5lbGycS5_aapxC1dQFdruTKAelV84klmHb78Fq2woJG9wTeqhxUpv11qpvfTOzy2fLqD0bAhPSWSj9qqPeQsivP-AMgSgIPeIa9YVR/s1600/fnaf-candy-cadet-325x183.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="325" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghQS-1REpzMVp4TpcgAOMotkakhaqNlbJVW7IauA5lbGycS5_aapxC1dQFdruTKAelV84klmHb78Fq2woJG9wTeqhxUpv11qpvfTOzy2fLqD0bAhPSWSj9qqPeQsivP-AMgSgIPeIa9YVR/s400/fnaf-candy-cadet-325x183.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>STORY</b></td></tr>
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Still here? Played both games or seen a play through? Alright, let's discuss.<br />
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So both of these games are pretty disturbing horror games, but for entirely different reasons. I'll talk about <i>FNAF 6</i>'s story (and yes, I know it's called <i>Pizzeria Simulator</i>, but let's just call it <i>FNAF 6 </i>for simplicity's sake) first since it's the easier of the two surprisingly.<br />
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So you're a manager of a pizzeria and have to contend with the psychotic animatronics that want you dead. Some are programmed that way, some are possessed, and some are just undead humans that want to kill you. Honestly, none of this will make much sense unless you're already familiar with the franchise and like previous <i>FNAF </i>games with the exception of <i>Sister Location</i>, you're gonna have to dig for the details. The story is bad per se, but most of details are in sections that are going to take you an eternity to find. For example, there are three "lore minigames" in different locations, but the chances of you getting to them are a mixture of skill, repetition, and blind luck. It doesn't make the rewards satisfying if you can't reliably get the information. The main plot is fine enough, you're gathering animatronics for your restaurant for a particular reason, but the story isn't the focus of the experience, unlike <i>Sister Location</i>.<br />
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Conversely, <i>Doki Doki </i>is all about story. It kind of has to be for a visual novel. You're forced into dialogue trees and scenarios from the very beginning, and while you think your actions will have major repercussions as the game progresses, it's all an illusion. The main story will still progress and the main story is unavoidable. Yes, it does take a while for the game to become engaging when the first act concludes, but after that? Nothing will tear you away from <i>Doki Doki</i>. The plot will have a hold on you unlike any other game and will make you both eager to see what happens and terrified to see what happens. Point goes to <i>Doki Doki</i>.<br />
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<b>Doki Doki: 1 FNAF 6: 0</b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>AESTHETICS</b></td></tr>
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I decided against doing a "Graphics" section because of how little they actually apply to these games. These aren't graphical powerhouse games, but instead they're able to impress with how well they look for a game with a shoestring budget. Besides, I'm not really a graphical horsepower kind of gamer. I'd rather see a developer work around system limitations to make their game visually memorable. </div>
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<i>FNAF 6 </i>is definitely a creepy game to look at, that's for certain. Like pretty much every other <i>FNAF </i>game, you have a mixture between Atari style minigames and static hyper detailed animatronics coming out to kill you. But the you have the added benefit of seeing the pizzeria with all of its bright animations, colorful menus, and cartoony little cutscenes sprinkled about to keep players engaged. </div>
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<i>Doki Doki </i>has a more anime aesthetic that it uses incredibly well in order to accomplish its scares. Yes, most of the game will reuse the same images again and again, but the slight distortions between each image will certainly do its job. The game will occasionally glitch (intentionally mind you) to freak you out, and it's when the game decides to break its traditional aesthetic that <i>Doki Doki </i>really starts to get into your head. Moments like those are peppered in here, but they aren't the defining experience. If it was just a single horrifying art style throughout, the game wouldn't be that scary. You would get used to those moments, effectively allowing the player to expect horror and disturbing imagery. It's only when that style is broken that the game becomes something special. </div>
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But while I do enjoy how <i>Doki Doki </i>breaks its aesthetic for the thrill of it, <i>FNAF 6 </i>really does just make a more compelling world to be scared of. I look forward to the pizzeria sections where I know I'm safe, but I dread the nighttime sections where I know the animatronics are lurking. It really comes down to which is better; having an okay style that is destroyed to scare a player, or having naturally disturbing style that gets under a player's skin, but it doesn't change? Personally, I think that <i>Doki Doki </i>isn't as memorable for a visual standpoint. The scares work because the anime world is tampered with, but that implies that the visuals were flawed to begin with. You can't make scares out of the world as is, so it needs to be modified. <i>FNAF 6 </i>is just naturally scary. I'm afraid of locations because they're meant to be foreboding. I don't want to stare at an animatronic because they look horrifying and they look like monsters, plain and simple. Point goes to <i>FNAF 6</i>. </div>
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<b>DOKI DOKI: 1 FNAF 6: 1</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-qxKY2N99s-9UXXax00bUntGGpvTNeMEw9-NGOU2S8iuEIag2wA5y88gFZK4dG8WiUlsv0LEDjkYHX0dIji0bue9kCp4thepDW4TONKemTDlAJj1uR7-NJqtPXc_LnzFE3vD9Ig1VxQ6_/s1600/Freddy-Fazbears-Pizzeria-Simulator-FNAF6-how-to-get-all-endings-1_feature.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-qxKY2N99s-9UXXax00bUntGGpvTNeMEw9-NGOU2S8iuEIag2wA5y88gFZK4dG8WiUlsv0LEDjkYHX0dIji0bue9kCp4thepDW4TONKemTDlAJj1uR7-NJqtPXc_LnzFE3vD9Ig1VxQ6_/s400/Freddy-Fazbears-Pizzeria-Simulator-FNAF6-how-to-get-all-endings-1_feature.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>GAMEPLAY</b></td></tr>
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By nature, a visual novel's gameplay is boring. All you do in a visual novel is click to continue the story. That's it. Oh sure, the story could still be absolutely riveting and encourage players to keep reading, but that's the key word; reading. You want to READ more. You don't want to PLAY more. </div>
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I will say that at least <i>Doki Doki </i>tries to make playing a visual novel more engaging. The poetry sections offer you more options to think and form a response, and how the game messes with you can also effect how you navigate the menus of the game, but that's really all there is. You still click to move through a series of text boxes. </div>
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<i>FNAF 6 </i>is the clear winner in this department just for how varied the gameplay is. Yes, you have the pizzeria sim where you can buy items, place them in your restaurant, upgrade their safety features, money making features, and cleanliness. You can get sued, buy discounted items, raise your "fun" meter, buy four whole catalogs of items, play minigames, decide whether or not you want sponsorship deals (God help you if you do!), and of course deal with the animatronics. </div>
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The actual sections where you're locked in a small room and have to survive against the machines is undeniably the best part of the game. You have several tasks that you have to go through, and each task takes a significant amount of time, makes noise that alerts animatronics to your location, and can only be accomplished one at a time. You have 11 things that need to be taken care of, and you need to deal with two vents where the animatronics can get into. If they get too close, you can turn off your vent to decrease noise and turn off your computer to stop all noise, but that raises the temperature and stops you from attending to tasks respectively. There's a ton of nuance and management elements in this game and makes it the most varied game in the series to date. Even when I was dying (and I was dying a lot), I never had a problem with the mechanics. Compared to <i>Doki Doki</i>'s static text screens, <i>FNAF 6 </i>is just more of an engaging experience. Point goes to <i>FNAF 6</i>. </div>
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<b>DOKI DOKI: 1 FNAF 6: 2</b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>HORROR</b></td></tr>
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What would a horror game be if it didn't have any scares to them? Both of these games are unique for how they go about scaring you, and yet both of these methods couldn't be more different from the other. </div>
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Once <i>Doki Doki </i>decides to play its hand, the game goes from being a bright and happy dating sim to something more... unsettling. Every minute something happens that just makes me more concerned that something terrifying is going to happen. I can click on a text box, and one of the characters may say something off, or the background might change slightly, or maybe something fundamentally wrong just happens that makes me question what I'm even playing. </div>
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<i>FNAF 6 </i>is just your standard <i>FNAF </i>game. Now while that may sound bad, it's still a master class example of how to edge players closer and closer to being scared. If order to even complete the night tasks against the animatronics, you need to be listening constantly. You need to turn your volume up to listen to everything, and you need to make sure that you're sacrificing speed for efficiency. If you die, you can't help but feel it's your own fault and that you're to blame for it. You rushed, or you forgot about one of the mechanics, or maybe you tried to risk too much and it backfired on you. You are in control of when you live and when you die. </div>
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You have no control in <i>Doki Doki</i>. Because of the linearity of the experience, you have to keep trucking through. You have to expose yourself to the world and the characters in order to progress. There's no other way to finish the game. It's possible to beat <i>FNAF 6 </i>without dying once, but it's impossible to not be scared by <i>Doki Doki</i>. <i>Doki Doki </i>gets under your skin. It becomes something more the further you play, and you will be in stunned silence at everything that happens. Not only that, but you aren't going to see everything the first time through. If you play the game a second time, you'll get completely new scares and moments that will play with your mind and subvert your expectations. <i>FNAF 6 </i>will always be the same whenever you go back to it, and while that isn't bad, it isn't as special and effective as <i>Doki Doki</i>. Point goes to <i>Doki Doki</i>. </div>
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<b>DOKI DOKI: 2 FNAF 6: 2</b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>MEMORABILITY</b></td></tr>
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Which was a better experience? Which was the game that stayed in my mind the longest after I left?</div>
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This may seem like an odd category to include, but really thinking about horror movies and games. We don't remember them for their plots most of the time. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule, but if you were to ask me, horror, especially horror games in particular, are defined by their moments. Those brief sections that cement in your mind what they're all about and will haunt your dreams for years to come. <i>It </i>has Pennywise causing constant terror, <i>Alien </i>has a chestburster, <i>Silence of the Lambs </i>has Hannibal Lecter, <i>Silent Hill 3 </i>has it's rooms, <i>Resident Evil 4 </i>has the opening village, you get the idea. A horror experience's memorability comes in all shapes and sizes, but we remember them for a reason; they got under our skins. </div>
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So when it comes to both of these games, which one is the more memorable experience? And no, I'm not going to knock <i>FNAF 6 </i>down because it's the sixth game in the series. <i>Sister Location </i>last year proved that it could be completely memorable while trying something different and new, so why not <i>FNAF 6</i>? And to its credit, <i>FNAF 6 </i>does inspire some memorable moments. Seeing horrifically mangled versions of Freddy, Baby, and Springtrap are true nightmare fuel, and the isolation is pretty memorable when you're left alone with them. The game also deserves a special shout out to those sections where you're left alone and have to salvage them and you're just left staring at them for minutes on end. </div>
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<i>Doki Doki </i>does try to make it's plot more memorable than other horror games, but its the characters that steal the show. Each character has their own chance to shine and shine they do. Plus with the benefit of having only four girls, each of them will grow on you as they terrify you the more you play. </div>
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But if I'm being perfectly honest here, this category isn't even a contest. As much as <i>FNAF 6 </i>can provide interesting moments and gameplay, <i>Doki Doki </i>obliterates it. The worst part is is that I can't even tell you which moments stole the show for me. There are a ton of moments, but if I was to explain each moment individually, it would ruin the game for many. I can explain the scares of <i>FNAF 6 </i>because they are pretty easy to follow and explain. They don't require investment or emotionally attachment. A monster comes out and yells boo. Scary, yes, but not exactly memorable, even if it is a rotting machine with the souls of dead children running it. </div>
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<i>Doki Doki </i>gives you brief flashes of insanity and unease before returning to normal, making them all the more memorable. They never overstay their welcome and they're all completely different. Plus the final moment of the game with one character is so chilling with how it messes with you that it left me completely invested in what was going to happen. I actively went on Youtube to see people react to this game. I wanted to see other people experience <i>Doki Doki </i>just so that they can experience one of the best horror games of the year. I think <i>FNAF 6 </i>is a fine game at the end of the day, but there's no contest here. <i>Doki Doki Literature Club </i>is simply the better free game. Play both of them, but be sure you play <i>Doki Doki </i>first. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-16680758750642448532017-12-10T08:41:00.000-08:002017-12-10T08:41:43.245-08:00The Disaster Artist Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbjxTzibeu18tU2tQXsk_Bq2hfQKnZpuMCrHspJARRqaVa_pyaaQOt3daQ1dzrv_0AQygqeiZK-0_UO-seYfURy6_LfAjESgAJDxy9N6kekdfcKDJaSuyg8gX-9N434GmayrCPZ-Y4QBGm/s1600/the-disaster-artist-james-franco-dave-franco.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbjxTzibeu18tU2tQXsk_Bq2hfQKnZpuMCrHspJARRqaVa_pyaaQOt3daQ1dzrv_0AQygqeiZK-0_UO-seYfURy6_LfAjESgAJDxy9N6kekdfcKDJaSuyg8gX-9N434GmayrCPZ-Y4QBGm/s640/the-disaster-artist-james-franco-dave-franco.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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What a story.<br />
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<i>The Disaster Artist </i>is a movie where you are either going to go into it incredibly biased or not. If you're one of the legion of fans of <i>The Room</i>, one of the worst movies ever made that is so laughably horrible, then there's almost no reason for you not to go see this movie. You're going to like it and some of the performances and scenes are going to make you smile like a giddy school girl.<br />
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That being said, for everyone else that has never seen <i>The Room</i> or just wants to know if this is a movie that's worth seeing because it's a good movie, that's a bit trickier to say. It's not that <i>The Disaster Artist</i>, the based on a true story making of <i>The Room</i>, is a bad movie, far from it. The problem comes when the movie jumps around a fair bit more than you would expect it to. That's not inherently a bad thing mind you, but you'll definitely notice that you'll enjoy some parts of the movie way more than others.<br />
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I still recommend seeing it though just for the sheer spectacle of it all.<br />
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<i>The Disaster Artist </i>stars Dave and James Franco, who play Greg Sestero and Tommy Wiseau respectively. Greg lives in San Francisco and always wanted to become an actor. After he meets Tommy, a man of mystery with unlimited money and an unknown nationality or age, they both move down to LA to find fame. Greg is able to get some small gigs, but Tommy... not so much, which causes Tommy to decide to write, direct, produce, and star in his own movie, <i>The Room</i>. What follows is a story about passion, paranoia, and whatever the hell Tommy saw in his movie.<br />
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If you are to see this movie for one reason, see it for James Franco as Tommy Wiseau. Franco captures some bizarre oddity where we have no idea what he is, let alone what he's supposed to be. I've never been so confused about watching a character in a movie than here, and it works on so many levels. There's just something so watchable about Tommy and he steals every scene that he's in. When he's just reading a line for an audition, he makes it so compelling in the worst possible way. Whenever he isn't on screen, it honestly feels like a part of <i>The Disaster Artist </i>lost its soul.<br />
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Everyone else does a fine job, but when you see Dave Franco as Greg Sestero, there are some moments that are just uncanny how similar he is the the actual man. That probably would be the best word to describe this movie; uncanny. It's uncanny how similar these people act. It's uncanny how some scenes from <i>The Room </i>are recreated here. It's uncanny just how in depth the movie goes into recreating certain character moments. I had a permanent grin on during those moments, but only because I was familiar with <i>The Room</i>. It's not until the very end when you see side by side shots of the original movie and <i>The Disaster Artist </i>version of it that the uninitiated can understand what's happening, but that's literally at the very end of the movie. It's a pretty big commitment to make.<br />
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That's an even bigger hurdle for some because the movie takes a long time to really get going. It's not until about a half hour or so into the movie that we get into the production of <i>The Room</i>, making all of the earlier stuff just kind of... there. Nothing from the first third ever gets brought up again and nothing from the beginning really matters much in the grand scheme of things. Sure, we need time to establish a relationship between Greg and Tommy, but some moments could have definitely been cut down in favor of taking a stronger look at the actual production.<br />
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For every actor that isn't the main duo, they're... okay. Just okay. This is a Franco movie at the end of the day and you can tell that this was James Franco's passion project. They're on screen for most of the time, so it's never really a problem, but it can get pretty bothersome when we get into the production of <i>The Room</i>. The biggest reason is that for all of the praise that I will give Dave Franco for portraying Greg in the movie, he comes across more as a Denny than a Greg. Only original fans of <i>The Room </i>will understand this, and most likely no one will notice or care about this, but whenever he was alone with Tommy and not on set, his tone and cadence were more similar to Denny, the squirmy and young teenager than the mature and adult Greg.<br />
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Whenever <i>The Disaster Artist </i>is away from <i>The Room</i>, the movie is just a standard, middle of the road made for TV making of movie if that makes any sense. It just seems like a movie that you've seen plenty of times before about people going to LA and trying to make it big. When <i>The Disaster Artist </i>focuses on the making of the worst movie ever made, the movie can finally become something special, and it focuses on that for the majority of the movie when it finally kicks into high gear, but away from it the movie becomes alright at worst.<br />
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Will <i>The Disaster Artist </i>be nominated for Oscars? I think so. I think there's a strong chance that Franco will be nominated for Best Actor and a 100% chance that this movie will be nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay. Now Best Picture? There's a slight chance, but it honestly may or may not happen. I can see why some people would fawn over <i>The Disaster Artist </i>and that Oscar voters usually go for movies like this, but I think it's too bizarre for its own good, and that's coming from a guy who thinks that <i>The Shape of Water </i>has a phenomenal chance at winning.<br />
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So at the end of the day, <i>The Room </i>fans will think this is one of the best movies of the year. Everyone else will be somewhat satisfied with it. I think that I fall somewhere in the middle here. I think that this is a totally fun movie and I certainly did enjoy it, but there were other moments where I was just content. Nothing bad happened in this movie and there was nothing that made me think that Franco made a bad decision or a bad acting choice, but I can't say it's a movie that rocks my socks off. It was a solid adaptation from a great book based off a terrible movie at the end of the day, and that's all I really could have asked for.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-78463702608238833762017-12-03T13:33:00.000-08:002017-12-03T13:33:23.169-08:00The Critical Order's Top 10 Worst Movies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
I may hate a lot of things, but my hatred in limitless now.<br />
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It's a fun little tradition that for the first week in December, I would usually make a Top 10 about something personal, something that's a bit of an insight into what makes me the man I am today.<br />
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And I nearly forgot about it this year.<br />
<br />
I was originally going to review <i>The Disaster Artist </i>this week, but because it's in limited release and not playing anywhere near me until next week, I decided to let the readers decide what I would talk about this week, and since this is traditionally when I do my personal Top 10, I figure I would let you all decide what I would talk about. It was neck and neck between my Favorite Anime and my Worst Movies, but you can see which won out by a fraction of a fraction. So... here we are.<br />
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I've been known to be a bit negative when it comes to film reviews. Although I like to think I've been more positive this year, there are still those few movies that come out that I just think are the absolute worst. Now if you like these movies, who am I to take away your enjoyment of them? Go on and enjoy them for me, I wish I could enjoy every movie I watch, but there are times that no matter how hard I try, I just can't possibly find anything redeemable in a movie. These 10 movies I just can't possibly like no matter how hard I try. I can't physically like these movies, and if I have to watch a single one of these movies again, it would be too soon.<br />
<br />
So first of all, let's clarify what makes a movie a contender for a list. No, none of my Worst Movies list rankings matter here because not only does my opinion change drastically about a movie, but the badness between each movie changes also. <i>50 Shades of Grey </i>and <i>Movie 43</i> are bad for different reasons, but one of the two I can still technically call a film. One I can't. This list is for those movies so fundamentally broken that there is no saving them. Also, I'm not putting on here "so bad it's good" movies like <i>The Room</i>, <i>FDR: American Badass</i>, or <i>Reefer Madness!</i>. Those movies went all the way around from being bad to entertaining, so they have merit in some bizarre, eldritchian way. Also I had to have actually seen the movie, so nothing that's bad by reputation. <i>Dragon Ball Evolution</i>, <i>Garbage Pail Kids, </i>or any Ed Wood movie won't make this list because of that reason. So if we're all set and ready, have fun taking a look at my Top 10 Worst Movies, and please don't try and find these movies.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#10: <i>Midnight in Paris </i>(2011)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Let's start off this list with my definition of Oscar bait, the movies that look like, sound like, and are made solely for Hollywood elites and film snobs. <i>Midnight in Paris </i>is one of the most pretentious movies that I've seen and is centered around a concept that is so fancy that it just becomes 100% unrelatable. In it, Owen Wilson is a writer that is dealing with being unfulfilled because he makes millions as a screenwriter but wants to make an original piece that he's been dreaming off, but his fiancee calls him a dreamer and is pretty much a terrible match for him, so Wilson gets drunk and is able to time travel to the 1920's and meet famous writers and artists all during his vacation in Paris.<br />
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Wilson's character is a man who has all of this wealth and a fantastic life, but he feels unfulfilled because of his own dreams an ambitions and is a romantic to a fault. Now there's nothing wrong with a person being unfulfilled, but Wilson does it to his own detriment. The movie basically says that he should follow his dreams and damn his life, as long as he stays true to himself that's all that matters. I'm sorry, but I just find stories like these completely annoying for me to watch. It throws all logic out the door and instead focuses on feelings and emotions, which is fine for some movies, but when it's done like it's done here, it's just unbearable.<br />
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And that's because you have Wilson hanging around with famous artists and writers and musicians who wax poetic about the joys of art and unless you know the people they're talking about, none of them are going to hit you. You're just going to watch a bunch of rich people talk about how great the arts are and laugh while drinking champagne and eat caviar in Paris, which is so isolating to me. I hate people that pretend they're smarter than others and claim to know how the world works. <i>Midnight in Paris </i>is essentially two hours of that without anything else really happening. Bottom line, I don't like people telling me about how beautiful and sensational the arts are, how I should follow my dreams and damn reality, and the movie agrees with that in a beautiful sense. I love the arts and am a full supporter of them, but this is just grating to the nth degree. This movie is for the type of people that only care about the arts and the importance of the arts... and nothing else.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1VG4lgiS2o4z3REg7S3IIqYJW7Tt2TwKWNnkirO0m9Xio3gVHOA_6KuIvc-FyXdKYvJlj5gQeC7A9kZG8u2uIeqFMZxD-IiOPuYHW_fbo4TLlWNInrbIklz4MrNHKm4u84fGjtBNiXPNs/s1600/The_Conqueror_%25281956%2529_film_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1154" data-original-width="754" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1VG4lgiS2o4z3REg7S3IIqYJW7Tt2TwKWNnkirO0m9Xio3gVHOA_6KuIvc-FyXdKYvJlj5gQeC7A9kZG8u2uIeqFMZxD-IiOPuYHW_fbo4TLlWNInrbIklz4MrNHKm4u84fGjtBNiXPNs/s320/The_Conqueror_%25281956%2529_film_poster.jpg" width="209" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#9: <i>The Conqueror </i>(1956)</td></tr>
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John Wayne as Genghis Khan.<br />
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John Wayne... as a Mongol...<br />
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So with that horrible, stupid, terrible, nonsensical, offensive, and laughable casting aside, what makes <i>The Conqueror </i>so bad? Well for me, while <i>The Conqueror </i>is a bland Hollywood epic that lacks the epic scale of <i>Ben-Hur </i>or <i>The 10 Commandments </i>and the John Wayne casting is quite literally the biggest reason to never see this film, I can safely say that <i>The Conqueror </i>is so bad it killed people. No really.<br />
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The film was shot 137 miles downwind of a nuclear testing site in Utah, and the cast spent several weeks in the Utah desert south of the nuclear testing site to film <i>The Conqueror</i>. Out of the 220 cast and crew members of the film, 91 of them developed cancer following filming over the course of several years. It would be one thing if a few people had developed cancer, but nearly 40% of everyone involved with the film got cancer. So <i>The Conqueror </i>gave people cancer, but it's made even worse by just how bad of a concept the movie was in the first place. Seriously, JOHN WAYNE IS NOT ASIAN. And you thought people were mad about Scarlett Johansson playing The Major in <i>Ghost in the Shell</i>.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi43KHPgcRE6RldhETmIqe_X59S03_vD4XC2mK717QQPiHsafB4GK94tow51cp4xj85yzGA-QcZazTJrkuHFyDVpv3hnC_CvNMV6KdOD6LeaHbNwbnfCzshC2Kx2308OBhquiSCtPqcWCYf/s1600/birdemic-2-poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1330" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi43KHPgcRE6RldhETmIqe_X59S03_vD4XC2mK717QQPiHsafB4GK94tow51cp4xj85yzGA-QcZazTJrkuHFyDVpv3hnC_CvNMV6KdOD6LeaHbNwbnfCzshC2Kx2308OBhquiSCtPqcWCYf/s320/birdemic-2-poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#8: <i>Birdemic 2: The Resurrection </i>(2014)</td></tr>
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I know that I said no "so bad it's good" movies on this list, but that's the problem with <i>Birdemic 2</i>. It tried so hard to ape the success of the original, a bonafide classic in unintentionally hilarious comedies, but here everything was deliberate. It's a sequel to <i>Birdemic </i>that does everything the original did, but worse. Except it doesn't have the charm and tries to pass of stupidity as "LOL SO RANDOM" humor. Just because there are dinosaurs doesn't mean that it's funny.<br />
<br />
So without the charm of the original <i>Birdemic </i>and without the tone deaf environmental messages being passed off as super seriously as possible ("Wow, that was a great movie, <i>An Inconvenient Truth</i>."), you just have a bad, amateurish movie. <i>Sharknado </i>is able to get away with being continuously bad by constantly evolving. <i>Birdemic 2 </i>instead just keeps doing the same thing again, only with stupid things that don't make much sense. Why are cavemen walking around in a movie about killer birds?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBSIJEYEK5hEu_GdZAfRBPpkqjdNQlLigf_hIjwcq9m7uHOwn6KGQMZKiv1uD-z9-oPGGrHXfEglo7c7EMyL1RUvFw5Cr0Rrw1uUq-iY9_B8fPFQG_MffaKIGtOPlqvtjDFPr9MqYcCzH4/s1600/batman-poster-batman-v-superman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1517" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBSIJEYEK5hEu_GdZAfRBPpkqjdNQlLigf_hIjwcq9m7uHOwn6KGQMZKiv1uD-z9-oPGGrHXfEglo7c7EMyL1RUvFw5Cr0Rrw1uUq-iY9_B8fPFQG_MffaKIGtOPlqvtjDFPr9MqYcCzH4/s320/batman-poster-batman-v-superman.jpg" width="216" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#7: <i>Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice </i>(2016)</td></tr>
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The failure, or at least the mediocrity, of DC films is known far and wide now, and I honestly think it all stems from <i>Batman v. Superman</i>'s failings. I fails hard. Like, so hard. Moviebob has begun a several hour deconstruction on why the movie doesn't work that's actually longer than the original film, so you should go check that out to see why it doesn't work, but I'm just going to quote my own review last year just to make it perfectly clear how I feel about this movie.<br />
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"You know, some people may say that I wanted to hate this movie. That it was just another superhero movie and that it was <i>Batman v. Superman</i>, so it was going to suck no matter what. That's simply not true. I wanted to enjoy this movie as much as I enjoyed <i>Man of Steel</i> and I wanted to see Superman BE a hero and not a villain. I wanted to see a movie that honored and cherished DC's legacy and give its heroes the respect they deserved. Instead, we have a murdering Batman, a gibberingly insane Luthor, a mopey Superman, a barely there Wonder Woman, and a Doomsday that looks like a cheap version of the Cloverfield monster.<br />
<br />
I can't defend this movie. All I can do is look at it, shake my head, and walk away from it. It didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would, and it didn't even disappoint me all that much. It just makes me want to read better Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman stories. Those stories will still exist, and they embody the characters here better than <i>Batman v. Superman </i>ever did. Go read "All Star-Superman", "Kingdom Come", Brian Azzarello's run on Wonder Woman, "The Killing Joke", Scott Snyder's run on Superman and Batman, and even "The Dark Knight Returns". Those will be better stories than this piece of dreck."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXoPqL1dYnGFSLJcdA-LlDTk1Yq-TtfKgkpLXjXh18lfOcCO0m4PFaB3TveFefn5HNnz7bWMBGSIdPoF8_0PrHcO8UcWD4WzqBuCrpCaXTQ0kjYTgTwhHjMFnYv0dnUljGJla8LY7Riy07/s1600/TLA_CombinedTeaser_Web_1200px.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXoPqL1dYnGFSLJcdA-LlDTk1Yq-TtfKgkpLXjXh18lfOcCO0m4PFaB3TveFefn5HNnz7bWMBGSIdPoF8_0PrHcO8UcWD4WzqBuCrpCaXTQ0kjYTgTwhHjMFnYv0dnUljGJla8LY7Riy07/s320/TLA_CombinedTeaser_Web_1200px.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#6: <i>The Last Airbender </i>(2010)</td></tr>
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You know, <i>Avatar the Last Airbender </i>is a truly great series. It's probably one of the best kids shows ever made and has developed a fanbase that spans generations. It has impeccable actions, great characters and character arcs, a beautiful world that you want to learn more about, and when you have a feature film in development of this franchise, why wouldn't you be excited?<br />
<br />
What the hell happened here?<br />
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<i>The Last Airbender </i>is a dour, serious movie that takes all of the joy out of the cartoon and just makes it lifeless to watch. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to try and make this movie into a serious action movie, but it could have worked in theory, but not if you remove all of the charm from the original series. Plus the movie just gets basic facts about the series wrong. Character's names are pronounced incorrectly in a stunning display of incompetence. You have REFERENCE MATERIAL where people say their names multiple times an episode, and yet no one could bother to pronounce the characters correctly?<br />
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But then you just have the basic structure of the movie. How, OH HOW, can you adapt the entire first book of the series, which encompasses 20 episodes, into a movie the length of four, maybe five episodes? No matter how you sliced it, the movie can't work and sacrifices so much to the point where you would be better off with no movie than any movie at all. I asked my friend, a diehard <i>Avatar </i>fan, what he thought of the movie, and his reaction was so perfect that it just sums everything up ever so nicely.<br />
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"The worst adaptation of any anime... really the worst adaptation of anything ever."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbhXxZH4nhhQ9gZRfOHJoTiNPcogUfP5yITwKzJcbVAy5WjZqJaycDVD8cvKqWFBHOGZfPOnKD5M3-QqLYYJ9vU-u3UL-BXc3oCPn0auYNXm7R3tXa9EtW4-24sHx7V_vdLVE6nePwJYtx/s1600/1200x630bb+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="420" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbhXxZH4nhhQ9gZRfOHJoTiNPcogUfP5yITwKzJcbVAy5WjZqJaycDVD8cvKqWFBHOGZfPOnKD5M3-QqLYYJ9vU-u3UL-BXc3oCPn0auYNXm7R3tXa9EtW4-24sHx7V_vdLVE6nePwJYtx/s320/1200x630bb+%25281%2529.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#5: <i>Mamma Mia! </i>(2008)</td></tr>
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HATE. HATE. HATE.<br />
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1) I hate ABBA, so making an entire musical around ABBA is a terrible idea for me.<br />
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2) Let's make the musical as annoying as possible by featuring a romance plot that eventually gets sidetracked by the main character's mother learning how to get her groove back and having her friends all be selfish pricks.<br />
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3) Let's then make it into a movie and just put Meryl Streep as our main character because it's Meryl Streep, which means that she will always be good in everything.<br />
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4) Let's ALSO make all of the songs goofy as hell with some of the worst dance choreography in any feature film I've seen!<br />
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5) Still not bad enough? Okay! Let's then cast everyone else as actors who can't hold a tune or even sing for their life (looking at you Pierce Brosnan).<br />
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6) What, is all of that not good enough for you? You got it! Let's just make the whole thing emotionally pointless. It's happy for the sake of happy and is engineered to try and make you feel pleasant without any reason for it. Why is everyone happy? Because we're all singing ABBA! And there's a beach! And there's love! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!<br />
<br />
Where's my noose?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6awBCYLkQmPeTkxi4WablM1hezeq9BzXGM7b2ss-3lLzKBOq7-dWzGFOYera2FCC1xH6EI0nTq4wvvDmaluioDAcgqM_PoBavZTlDs5YBaWhUqm9HW1aUX0BD2vg3ZgZk9SvsGCGjwhbS/s1600/United_Passions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="317" data-original-width="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6awBCYLkQmPeTkxi4WablM1hezeq9BzXGM7b2ss-3lLzKBOq7-dWzGFOYera2FCC1xH6EI0nTq4wvvDmaluioDAcgqM_PoBavZTlDs5YBaWhUqm9HW1aUX0BD2vg3ZgZk9SvsGCGjwhbS/s1600/United_Passions.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#4: <i>United Passions </i>(2014)</td></tr>
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Behold, the worst grossing movie of all time. A film so bad it had a worldwide total of less than $1,000. It's so bad that no one saw it .Only a few people have ever claimed to see this FIFA propaganda movie, but I have, and it is beyond bad.<br />
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I'm not a big football/soccer fan, so when I saw this movie, all I could do was try and understand why this movie was so bad. And the answer is that it's tone deaf. It has no idea what it's doing, is completely unaware of what is happening in the world, and was made by people that really only cared about bolstering themselves without thinking about the ramifications.<br />
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There are a ton of moments in the movie that don't work, but they mostly come towards the second half of the movie. It's there that you get a World Cup victory that is horrifying for the heads of FIFA and a tragedy, but is actual a moment of national pride for the country that won, and several heads of FIFA explaining how corrupt they are and how much they love to play God. And the movie has us sympathize with them. We're meant to feel bad for the FIFA executive when he's asked about a question of fairness in his own sport, and how dare you question you lord and savior FIFA for giving you the right to play football/soccer! The lord giveth, and the lord can taketh away.<br />
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Honestly, <i>United Passions </i>is just a giant piece of propaganda that I can't help but laugh at, mostly because of how even when this movie was being "shown in theatres", FIFA was under heavy scrutiny for corruption charges and allegations of misconduct. But at least <i>United Passions </i>still thinks they're nice people!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdVKNNudRM7LFjWd3TH1-9SDEy0tBf4Qiky69WiiUSIZIwyEW_eE1p8xomVpI7XHe8r12OatyOAMbtoudYLSJGaa63PZ89w4VdeSTFcTOvv7ge6Gkgv4NZoAZk-Q5FeeNoFSWcZzHw_hew/s1600/MV5BMjEwNDQ3MzYyOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDE0ODM3MDE%2540._V1_UX182_CR0%252C0%252C182%252C268_AL_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="268" data-original-width="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdVKNNudRM7LFjWd3TH1-9SDEy0tBf4Qiky69WiiUSIZIwyEW_eE1p8xomVpI7XHe8r12OatyOAMbtoudYLSJGaa63PZ89w4VdeSTFcTOvv7ge6Gkgv4NZoAZk-Q5FeeNoFSWcZzHw_hew/s1600/MV5BMjEwNDQ3MzYyOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDE0ODM3MDE%2540._V1_UX182_CR0%252C0%252C182%252C268_AL_.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#3: <i>God's Not Dead </i>(2014)</td></tr>
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I'm not going to lie, it's getting harder and harder to talk about why these movies are so terrible. I'm not kidding, there are only so many ways I can say "I hate this" before I start feeling drained, and <i>God's Not Dead </i>is probably one of the most draining movies I've ever seen. It's hateful, completely rude, and is generally just offensive to anyone outside of its own narrow mindset.<br />
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So let's just do a checklist for this movie. Are you an atheist? You are the villain of this movie. Also the atheist in this movie abuses his wife and treats her like an idiot for believing in God. Are you a Christian? Congratulations! You're the hero of the movie! You are always right and with convert any atheist to your cause! Did an atheist just get hit by a car and is slowly dying? It's okay, because they now believe in God! Also, you can convert a woman that was a liberal reporter who got cancer for being a liberal and questioning God and Christians! Also if you're a Muslim you beat your children and will kick them out of the house for being interested in Christianity. So in short, Christians are good, and everyone else are evil monsters that want to take away your Jesus.<br />
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Ladies and gentlemen, logic is gone in this movie. All things that you thought were right in the world, the separation of church and state, sound debate and arguments, and the freedom to let other people do whatever they want, are all evil and you should feel bad for the persecuted Christians. The persecuted... Christians. So yeah, this movie set a dangerous precedent and standard for films in America and probably also encouraged a really dangerous sect of though in America that are genuinely unsettling. Also, this movie features Christian rock music, so it easily deserves hate for that. Still better than Country!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#2: <i>Norbit </i>(2007)</td></tr>
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GET IT??? CAUSE EDDIE MURPHY IS PLAYING A FAT WOMAN! HE'S NOT FAT AND HE"S NOT A WOMAN! HUR HUR HUR HUR HUR!<br />
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Behold ladies and gentlemen, the worst comedy I have ever seen. A movie that tries to be funny by having Eddie Murphy play three separate characters, all of whom are just the worst/ Which would you like to see more? Would you like to see Eddie Murphy play Norbit, a weak willed, annoying and spineless man whose voice will drive you to put nails into you ears? Or would you rather see Eddie Murphy play Mr. Hangten Wong, an Asian man who is exactly every Asian stereotype put to film (I don't know how to feel about Eddie Murphy playing an Asian man... though I'm pretty sure it's still crap)?<br />
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No, you want to see him play a fat black woman named Rasputia, the worst character I've ever seen in any movie! What's not to laugh about a fat black woman being loud, arrogant, and being worse than every <i>Medea </i>movie put together? This movie is so bad that it was actually the one time I got inches away from leaving the theatre. This was the one to nearly make me do it. I can't think of a single thing in this movie that works. I know that it's fun to hate on the _________ <i>Movie</i>'s like <i>Scary Movie, Date Movie, </i>and <i>Epic Movie</i>, but at least you may get a chuckle over how bad the jokes are. <i>Norbit </i>doesn't even get that. It takes generic roles that would belong in a bad blacksploitation movie and turns them up to 11 for a... comedy?<br />
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I know that Eddie Murphy can be funny, but <i>Norbit </i>ruined him for a while for me. I like him a bit now, but man... <i>Norbit </i>is just trash of the highest proportions.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#1: <i>Cyrus </i>(2010)</td></tr>
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Never before have I been more uncomfortable watching a movie. Never before have I wanted to sink into the depths of my seat like in <i>Cyrus</i>. I'm pretty sure I'm staring into the mind of a serial killer when I watch this. This movie shouldn't even be named <i>Cyrus</i>, it should be called <i>Oedipus</i>, since it's so close to being about a man who makes love to his mother.<br />
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Instead we have John C. Reilly fall in love with a woman who's son, Cyrus, still lives at home. The problem is that he's in his mid 20's and is HIGHLY possessive of her. Like, he stalks John C. Reilly for being with his mother. He acts like a neurotic mess in order for her to choose him instead of her. He makes John C. Reilly his mortal enemy for taking away his mother from him. He gets drunk and claims that John C. Reilly attacked him and says that he's trying to steal his mother away. Cyrus is the definition of a sociopath, manipulating people until they are an emotionally wreck just so he can be alone with his mother.<br />
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Norman Bates would tell this man he's a bit too obsessed with his mother for God's sake. At least Norman Bates never pretended to be insane to drive people away from him, and at least he didn't manipulate his mother to do whatever he says. Nah, he just was a psychotic monster, but I would still say that Norman Bates isn't as detestable as Cyrus is.<br />
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And the most shocking thing to me is that this is meant to be a black comedy. It's supposed to be funny in a sick and twisted way how much this man loves his mother. I don't know what planet this concept would be funny and that's coming from someone with a pitch black sense of humor. I don't find a man trying to have sex with his mother funny. I don't find a woman being blind to how a person manipulates them humorous. I don't chuckle when I see a man be broken so much he thinks he's going to die alone because a man child made his life a living hell. <i>Cyrus </i>is a deeply unpleasant movie from start to finish and it made not only me, but my entire family just completely repulsed when we saw it together. And that is why <i>Cyrus </i>is without a show of a doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-63476399790998857852017-11-26T14:06:00.000-08:002017-11-26T14:06:04.014-08:00Coco Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQDfoyPoZDgayCPZ4PezX2GbkZQQ3pnZsOPYe3NwNjoRcx2dEwOA1LpZ0cmwJnQxKnZmTN-V4dGFp3jLQ6SV0CYi0pIBKqLSzLBrLiwwnl1jelHWg3SyEZw_k09X2cvBq3umX3sug-cd6u/s1600/COCO_D23_RGB_c365_15d_pub2.pub16.358.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQDfoyPoZDgayCPZ4PezX2GbkZQQ3pnZsOPYe3NwNjoRcx2dEwOA1LpZ0cmwJnQxKnZmTN-V4dGFp3jLQ6SV0CYi0pIBKqLSzLBrLiwwnl1jelHWg3SyEZw_k09X2cvBq3umX3sug-cd6u/s640/COCO_D23_RGB_c365_15d_pub2.pub16.358.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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It's time for more Pixar tropes! And a vote to determine next week's review!<br />
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I've been thinking a lot about <i>The Good Dinosaur </i>in the lead up to this movie. <i>The Good Dinosaur </i>was Pixar's lowest grossing movie and has been forgotten in just two years. Literally every other Pixar franchise is exactly that, a franchise consisting of sequels, merchandise, and moments that can rank as Pixar's greatest. <i>The Good Dinosaur </i>had none of that. It had no sequels, was swiftly forgotten, was never really merchandised, and had nothing that really stood out. Looking back at my original review, I said that it was a safe movie with a lot of Pixar tropes that was held up by amazing animation. I still think that's all true, but I think I may have figured out what <i>The Good Dinosaur </i>was missing; energy.<br />
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It felt like a movie done by the books. <i>The Good Dinosaur's </i>biggest selling point was its animation, as is pretty much every Pixar movie, but strip that away and you have a movie that could have been done by anyone. Illumination and Dreamworks could have done it. Hell, it reminds me a lot of <i>The Land Before Time</i>, a movie that is held highly in regard by classic animation fans. So maybe <i>The Good Dinosaur </i>just couldn't muster up any high passion or imagination from its creators and that translated to lackluster critical and fan reception.<br />
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I bring up <i>The Good Dinosaur </i>because I was worried that <i>Coco </i>would befall the same fate. It's the latest Pixar movie not tied to a franchise, and I couldn't help but shake the feeling that it was going to be a repeat of <i>The Good Dinosaur</i>. Thankfully, it has enough passion and energy to tell an engaging story, it's just that it's a combination of both every Pixar and Disney trope of the past five or so years. But at least it looks nice!<br />
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Miguel is a kid growing up in Mexico, and it's almost Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead. In it, the living honor their dead relatives, but Miguels' family doesn't honor his great-great Grandfather. His great-great Grandfather was a musician and left his family to pursue fame and fortune, do his family, with the exception of his daughter Coco, have developed a hatred for all forms of music. Now Miguel wants to pursue a musical career like his great-great Grandfather and is certain that his great-great Grandfather is Ernesto de la Cruz, the world's greatest musician. Miguel runs away from home and ends up in the land of the dead to try and visit his great-great grandfather to get his blessing as a musician while running into his dead family members and getting help with a skeleton named Hector who wants someone to remember him since he's a forgotten soul. Together they'll visit de la Cruz and get his blessing for Miguel before the sun rises, trapping Miguel in the land of the dead.<br />
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So if you know anything about Disney movies and Pixar movies, I've pretty much spoiled the entire movie in that paragraph, and I apologize. <i>Coco </i>doesn't pull any tricks with its premise and tells a simple story, but it's probably a bit too simple. In the first five minutes of the movie, I knew exactly what was going to happen from beginning to end, it was just a matter of how long until they get there. I don't know if it's because I've seen a metric ton of Disney movies, but I didn't feel anything when these big twists happen. I just sat there and nodded my head. If you've seen <i>Frozen, Big Hero 6, Zootopia, </i>or <i>Moana</i>, <i>Coco </i>is going to be VERY familiar to you.<br />
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At least <i>Coco </i>excels at its visuals. The land of the dead is stunning to look at just by how much detail is in every frame. When you see a massive shot of the world, or a party with thousands of guests, you can see just how much care went into every frame. It wasn't just the technology on display here, it was the dedication to making the movie look as good as it does. It would have been easy to make the land of the dead look like a generic location, but it truly looks like it has a Mexican flare and aesthetic to it.<br />
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Truthfully, the best thing about this movie is just how much the aesthetic really rocks. It's not every day that you see a movie that pays careful attention to the culture that it depicts, and like <i>Moana</i>, there was a lot of attention that went into every aspect of this movie, whether it's how the characters look, what the world is like, or the details about Dia de los Muertos that Disney gets right.<br />
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But really, <i>Coco </i>is a movie that you can tell from the trailer whether or not you'll like it or not. It doesn't pull a fast one, and if you watch all of the trailer, you can piece together every beat of the story and when each moment will happen. Kids won't notice hopefully, but if you're looking for just a bit of that Disney magic, <i>Coco </i>will suffice. At the end of the day, that's all that <i>Coco </i>is. It's a fine movie that doesn't do anything too extreme or out of the ordinary, but it has a sense of style to it. It's at least better than <i>The Good Dinosaur</i>, because you can actually tell a lot of effort went to making the movie as authentic as possible. Between this and <i>The Book of Life</i>, Dia de los Muertos has been treated with a lot of respect by animation companies.<br />
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So.. that's really about it. It's a Pixar movie that's solid. It's nothing outstanding, but it's still a good time.<br />
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Look, I'm still coming off of a mega food coma with the family, so there's no fancy analysis here. See <i>Coco</i>.<br />
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One more thing before you go though! From the looks of it, I will not be able to get a review of <i>The Disaster Artist </i>out before next Sunday. It just isn't really playing in any area around me. So instead of a review, I'm going to do another personal Top 10 list. So like my favorite movies, video games, or characters of the past couple of years, this is another chance just to get a better look at what makes me tick, but I'm allowing YOU to choose what I talk about. I created a strawpoll, link below, where you can vote on whether I talk about my Top 10 Favorite Anime, my Top 10 Favorite Comics, or my Top 10 Worst Movies. Cast your vote, voting will close 11:59 p.m. November 30th, so get your votes in, and I'll see you all Sunday!<br />
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<a href="https://strawpoll.com/bkeprxr7">Click here to access the strawpoll to vote!</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-48793186558004903212017-11-19T12:26:00.000-08:002017-11-19T16:20:19.471-08:00Justice League Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So is it more <i>Wonder Woman </i>or more <i>Batman v. Superman</i>?<br />
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I've been both looking forward to this movie and dreading this movie for months. I knew that I was going to see it and it was going to be a big decider in how DC is going to be making their movies for the next couple of years, and yet I didn't know what I was going to get. The quality of DC's slate of movies have varied wildly since 2013. <i>Man of Steel </i>was alright, <i>Batman v. Superman </i>was the worst movie I saw last year, <i>Suicide Squad </i>was a guilty pleasure for me, and <i>Wonder Woman </i>was just outright great, so I had no idea how this movie could go.<br />
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I could guess the general quality of the previous movies by their trailers, but the trailers for <i>Justice League </i>were harder to judge. They looked like <i>Batman v. Superman</i>, but had more charm and personality. I didn't know what to feel. So I just decided to say screw it, not try and overthink it, and just go into the movie and experience it fresh.<br />
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So let me make this perfectly clear; I am a DC Comics fan, and just because the movies differ from the source material doesn't mean that they're bad. I could nitpick the movie to oblivion and back about the differences between the comics and the movie, but that's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to talk about if <i>Justice League </i>is good or not. I don't care if they changed a character's origin slightly or if a character is acting differently from how they are in the comics. I'm open to change and new ideas. <i>Captain America: Civil War</i> wasn't a direct adaptation of the comic book, and it was a fantastic movie. I didn't rage that there was no Peter Parker reveal or that there wasn't an intergalactic super prison. I cared about if the movie was good, and it was. I don't play favorites when it comes to comic book characters or companies, so all's fair here.<br />
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Not only that, but any criticisms I am going to make about the movie are not a direct attack against Zack Snyder. Snyder had to leave the production due to a personal family crisis, and he has my deepest condolences and respect. I have problems with <i>Justice League</i>, but that isn't because I don't like the man who directed it. And if you want to attack this man for making this movie and call him a terrible filmmaker, or that he deserved what happened to him because he made a bad movie or had a bad interpretation of a character, then you have none of my respects. You are a petty and self centered person who is more preoccupied with the lives of fictional characters than the lives or real people. Have some humanity for chrissakes.<br />
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So are we good? Can I talk about <i>Justice League</i>...?<br />
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Okay then.<br />
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So <i>Justice League </i>takes place some time after <i>Batman v. Superman</i>. In it, the world is still reeling from the death of Superman, but now items called Mother Boxes have become active on Earth. There were three of them, and their activation brings creatures called Parademons to Earth, led by a being called Steppenwolf, a general that tried to conquer Earth thousands of years ago. Batman has been investigating the Mother Boxes and Parademons and has decided that he needs the help of Wonder Woman and other superheroes to stop Steppenwolf from turning the Earth into a giant cinder. So he tries to recruit Cyborg, the Flash, and Aquaman to help him and Wonder Woman save the world.<br />
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And that's about it. That's not a barebones summary of the movie, that is literally all that happens. A big bad comes, heroes unite, beat the bad guy into submission. It worked in <i>The Avengers </i>and yet it doesn't work here, and the reason behind that is pretty simple. Outside of Batman and Wonder Woman, we don't know any of these characters. We don't know about Aquaman, Cyborg, or even the Flash, so we have to spend half of the movie just getting to know them before we can even care about them. And does it work? Kinda.<br />
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The character we get to know most out of the new three is Barry Allen, aka The Flash. He's a much younger man that is more socially awkward and has a lot more in common with Michael Cera than anything else. I didn't really like him at first, mostly because he's everything that Barry Allen isn't, but once I took a step back and thought about him as his own character, he was fine. He's a guy that wants to do good, can be a bit scatter brained, but he usually does have his heart in the right place. I can't say that I enjoyed his action scenes outside of one, mostly because his super speed pretty much just meant the rest of the movie stopped as he walked around and did things, he he was a character I got to enjoy a bit by the end.<br />
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As much as woman adore him, Jason Mamoa as Aquaman was pretty underwhelming. He never really did much of anything in the movie besides be shirtless and have the occasional one liner. In fact, I'd probably go so far to say that he's the weakest character in the League, if only because there are a ton of different subplots and ideas that happened around him. He was undercover in a small village in Northern Europe, but then he went to Atlantis where I think he's their king, or maybe not, and his mom is dead, but I have no idea if the woman he was talking to was Mera or not, and he just never really added anything to the movie for me. Like if he was written out of the movie and it was just the other four, I probably wouldn't have noticed.<br />
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And then there's Cyborg, who is integral to the plot, and yet I feel like his enter backstory was a giant Cliffs-note. He was a human, he got hurt in an explosion, and now he's half human half machine. He has some dad issues, but by the halfway point of the movie that subplot is just dropped with no resolution. Plus he just looks terrible, plain and simple. He's most CG, which is understandable, but his design is just shoddy. He looks like an early PS1 model, with tons of little polygons popping out to make a metal suit. It's hard to explain what I mean, but you just need to look at him and see that his costume is just busy.<br />
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So the cast range from being good to uninteresting, but there's one major flaw that is really obvious throughout the entire movie. It felt like <i>Justice League </i>was rushing nearly everything it did. We had the team come together and fight the big bad in about an hour, and that includes us being introduced to our heroes and villain. The movie finally decides to slow down in the second half for more character moments and an honestly well done final fight, but the first half is just trying to rush three movies of character development into as little a time period as possible.<br />
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We do get an enjoyable action scene in the first half involving the Amazons, but outside of that and a flashback to a massive war between Steppenwolf and the Amazons, Atlanteans, humans, and even Green Lanterns (more on them in a bit), there're hardly any action scenes in the movie. I can really only recall three major action scenes, and I'm happy to say that out of the four three are genuinely good. One fight scene has a lot of callbacks to <i>Batman v. Superman</i>, but it does that in a much better way than I thought it would. Batman's infamous "Do you bleed?" line comes up here, but instead it's a pretty badass and awesome moment in the film, if not one of my favorite moments.<br />
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So moving on to Steppenwolf, he's easily one of the worst parts of the movie. While Lex Luthor completely missed the point of the original character and was just torture to see, Steppenwolf is a bore to watch. He's evil, he has a growly voice, he wants to take over the world, he's big, he's gray, he's just lame. The original Steppenwolf had a cool design of a burly man in bright purple armor with a menacing goatee. This Steppenwolf is grey with grey armor and a grey ax. He's generic.<br />
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And truth be told, a lot of parts in this movie do feel generic. The backgrounds are still grey for most of the movie, but we do get a lot of color during the action scenes, whether it's Barry's blue from going super fast or red for the Hellscape final fight. Every scene outside of the action scenes are boring to watch. Not only that, but we get a lot of the same character beats too that we've seen a million times. These heroes are better working apart, they don't want to become a part of a team, but they do for the sake of the world. It's a trope we've seen to death, and it's only made more obvious here because of the truncated nature of the movie. Look, I'm happy that the movie is less than 2 hours and isn't a slog to sit through, but there has to be a better way to balance it.<br />
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But let's get down to brass tacks. Did I hate <i>Justice League</i>? Is it a truly terrible movie and is the DC Cinematic Universe doomed to die??? No, it really isn't. It's nothing special, but it was cool to watch. It was a decent movie with decent ideas and some bad moments, but also some good moments. It was a movie that I could safely call successful. Granted, the bar for success was pretty low, but it still passed it, albeit it very slightly. I don't know whether or not that's good praise for the movie though...<br />
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But did <i>Justice League </i>save DC films? That's a trickier question. A lot of the harm that was done with <i>Batman v. Superman </i>has been addressed and rectified, but there's still a long way to go. Some elements still don't work, like Jesse Eisenberg, the rushed nature of these heroe's backstory, the grey tones and bland environments, and the fact that these movies seem to be hacked to pieces by producers for a variety of reasons. It's easy to tell that there are a lot of behind the scenes problems with these movies (minus <i>Wonder Woman</i>), and I don't know if that will be enough to end this franchise. None of that may even matter though if the <i>Flashpoint </i>movie is actually going to happen and if it retcons the entire series anyway.<br />
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But that's all in the future. What we have now is a movie that mostly works. It is functional. It gets the job done, and it is entertaining, just in a DC way. Now whether or not that means anything to you will determine whether or not you enjoy this movie, but there's no denying one key fact. It could have been a lot worse.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-85876662372028117102017-11-12T18:11:00.000-08:002017-11-12T18:11:26.662-08:00Triple Feature: Blade Runner 2049, The Babysitter, Thor Ragnarok<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm tired, it's late, and I've just seen a ton of movies that I want to talk about.<br />
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These past few weeks have been murder, no ifs or buts. Between the four year anniversary, my annual Top 20 villains list, and doing a major Batman retrospective on top of reviewing one of the biggest games of the season, I'm not gonna make any big speeches. Let's just dive right in and cut to the chase.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Blade Runner 2049</i> (October 6th, 2017)</td></tr>
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I wasn't really a big fan of last year's token sci-fi epic <i>Arrival</i>. Sure, it was fine by a technical point of view, but the main twist didn't resonate with me and it felt like a lot of build up with little to no payoff. The same director, Denis Villeneuve, went and directed <i>Blade Runner 2049</i> in the same style as <i>Arrival</i>. It was bleak, with very little emotion, and a lot of silence involved. However, it worked perfectly in the world of <i>Blade Runner 2049</i> and became easily one of the best movies of the year.<br />
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It does have a bit of a slow start I will admit, but once the main plot gets going, it really does get going. By the middle of the movie, I was watching because the film commanded me to watch it. I felt like I was seeing something larger than life that deserved my attention and my time. It does pull a lot of the same technical tricks as <i>Arrival</i>, but it all works better because we're able to get a sense of the world in <i>2049</i>. We spend a lot of time walking around the cities, seeing how the world works, and getting to know a lot about its history. I was so compelled by this world that I actively went out and saw all of the prequel shorts created just for this release.<br />
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It may be a 3 hour behemoth, but it never felt like it was that long. This is one of those few times where I wished I saw it on an IMAX screen because the sheer scope of it would be worth it. There are moments where it does drag, and given that it's a 3 hour movie having just a little extra editing wouldn't have hurt the movie in the long run, but other than that it's hard to say anything that is definitively wrong with it. It's just an extremely well executed sci-fi movie that I wished did better than it did. It pretty much bombed, which is a shame when the overall product is as good as it is.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The Babysitter </i>(October 13th, 2017)</td></tr>
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Netflix has been pushing a lot of its original content in recent years to the point where I associate it more with its original content than the shows and movies it gets from other studios that liscene out to them. I don't really like to review Netflix movies though because I just feel like there are other movies that deserve to be talked about. Most Netflix movies don't have to worry about box office numbers and I would much rather convince you to go see a movie that deserves it than to see a movie that you get with hundreds of others for $8 a month. It's the difference between supporting a mom and pop store for your groceries or doing via Amazon Pantry. You still get your groceries, and one is infinitely more convenient, but you know that you money can probably make more of a difference elsewhere.<br />
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Enter <i>The Babysitter, </i>a horror-comedy that I saw because I wanted a good laugh for in the waning months of the year. <i>The Babysitter </i>is a pretty decent movie overall. It's not high art or anything like that, but it's a movie that feels like it takes the ridiculous tropes of 80's slasher movies, mixes it with <i>Home Alone</i>, and dial up the lunacy to <i>Sharknado </i>proportions. By all accounts, this movie isn't engaging and is pretty obvious. There's an evil babysitter, her group of friends, and only the kid can stop them from trying to kill him. Add incredible amounts of gore, stupid deaths, and just enough bizarre moments to keep me engaged, and you have yourself a pretty fun horror flick.<br />
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The best way I can describe <i>The Babysitter</i> is that it's a "HELL YEAH!" kind of movie. You know the kind. It's the kind of movie where you watch it and you just go "HELL YEAH!" at what you're watching. You're laughing, talking with your friends, making fun of it, and just having a good time overall. It's not all that long, and if we're being perfectly honest the premise is pretty dumb and a lot of the characters are raving psychopaths because why not, but trying to make sense of a movie that knows its a joke it a pointless task. Just turn off your mind, sit back, and get some popcorn.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Thor: Ragnarok </i>(November 3rd, 2017)</td></tr>
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I really wanted to like this movie. I really wanted to come back and say that I fell in love with <i>Tho: Ragnarok </i>and all of its goofy, space viking glory, but when I left the theatre, I felt the same way I did whenever I left most Marvel movies. I felt indifferent. It wasn't good, it wasn't bad, but it met all of my expectations and did nothing to exceed them. It tried to imitate <i>Guardians of the Galaxy </i>in terms of setting and tone, but it doesn't understand that what made that movie so compelling was the cast of characters and how they bounced off each other. Thor is entertaining, and Hulk is great, but Valkyrie, The Grandmaster, and even Loki all felt average.<br />
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I get what <i>Ragnarok </i>was trying to do. It wanted to inject life and energy into the <i>Thor </i>movies, which are pretty much agreed upon as being the weakest movies in the MCU, but it did so by trying to be something it wasn't. It tried to be a crazy space gladiator tournament, but it wasn't. The best parts of the movie were on Sakaar when Thor was fighting against Hulk, or just seeing that world, or just hearing the witty dialogue and seeing characters act out of character. Thor being afraid of losing his hair was great, as was the Hulk acting like a child. But every single time we got to see a bit of Sakaar and the Contest of Champions, we were whisked back to Hela attacking Asgard. Everything that happened on Asgard was not interesting, period.<br />
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I will say that this was easily the best <i>Thor </i>movie. I mean, the competition wasn't all that stiff to begin with, but it was still better than watching the Dark Elves be moody or Thor be an ass in the first movie, and I will acknowledge that putting Thor in space was a pretty cool idea at the end of the day. Plus, extra marks for including elements of "Planet Hulk" in a Thor movie. But even with good ideas and good intentions, the biggest problem with <i>Thor: Ragnarok </i>was that it was a Thor movie. When you get a Thor movie, you have to get huge sections dedicated to Asgard, and those bits were the weakest parts of the movie. So combine a good middle with a lame beginning and ending, and you get a true blue, ho-hum Thor experience.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-45602898847349742112017-11-09T09:35:00.001-08:002017-11-09T09:35:37.578-08:00Super Mario Odyssey Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Oh the places you will go.<br />
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So I think we can safely say that 2017 was a stellar year for the Nintendo Switch. At the very beginning of the year, we had a press conference announcing the Switch, and since then the Switch has been on the forefront of the gaming world. Like it or not, the Nintendo Switch was the biggest video game related story to come out of 2017. It was a console that put Nintendo back on the map, and has already sold millions in a little over 7 months.<br />
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Most importantly though, the Nintendo Switch has had a deluge of fantastic games that came out, <i>Breath of the Wild, Splatoon 2, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Mario & Rabbids, </i>and that's not even getting into the third party and Indie support. As a Nintendo fan, it makes me happy to see the Switch do well, and it makes me even happier that I'm able to play a bunch of great games on the system. There's no reason for anyone to be crying Nintendoom is all I'm saying.<br />
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But one of the most intriguing things about the Nintendo Switch reveal was the sudden announcement of <i>Super Mario Odyssey</i>. It was announced at the Switch reveal, and lo and behold, it was given a 2017 release date. A new <i>Mario </i>game was announced with a short wait time from announcement to release, and the game has been building up steam ever since E3 with it's huge demo and even crazier trailer. So I was looking forward to the game, but not by a huge amount.<br />
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I'll be perfectly honest when I say that while I enjoy <i>Mario </i>games, they aren't my favorite games Nintendo makes. I usually think that <i>Mario </i>games are excellent video games for beginners, gateway games in a way. You play a <i>Mario </i>game, enjoy it, then you start looking around for other similar games to play. They're not hard to beat, but challenging to master, and with the exception of two <i>Mario </i>games, I've never 100% completed them, but it was never for a lack of effort. I just got genuinely bored with them. I beat the main campaign, called it quits, and moved on to something that was more captivating for me.<br />
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<i>Super Mario Odyssey </i>commanded me to beat it and I was more than happy to have at it.<br />
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We all know the story by now. Bowser kidnaps Peach and Mario needs to rescue her, but this time with hats! Mario loses his hat after Bowser beats him within an inch of his life, shooting Mario off to the Cap Kingdom. There. he meets a little ghost hat named Cappy that wants to travel with you to save his sister, who was also kidnapped by Bowser. So it's a big chase across the world as Mario tries to rescue Peach from Bowser and his new wedding planners, the Broodals.<br />
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So <i>Super Mario Odyssey </i>was a gave I didn't expect to engross me as much as it did. I played it whenever I had the chance to, but I can't quite put my finger on why. From a gameplay perspective, <i>Odyssey </i>is a tried and true <i>Mario </i>game. You run, you jump, and you collect a set number of items, in this game Moons, in certain world by using your skills. I know that a lot of people have compared this game to <i>Super Mario 64</i>, but I always thought it was much more similar to <i>Super Mario Sunshine </i>more than anything else.<br />
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<i>Sunshine </i>had large, sprawling worlds that you could go to and do multiple things in. Sure, you really couldn't go out of order in that game like <i>64</i>, but there were still plenty of Blue Coins to collect and a ton of little things that you could do just for fun. The Moons in <i>Odyssey </i>are almost exactly like the Blue Coins from <i>Sunshine</i>. They're littered throughout the game and you can get stupid amounts of them. You don't need that many Moons to complete the game, I think it's a little over 100 to get to Bowser, but there are a grand total of 883 Power Moons in the game, and that's not even including the ones you can get post game. There are a ludicrous amount of Moons to get, and you get almost all of them by doing different things.<br />
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You can obviously get Moons by beating bosses or doing platforming sections, but a lot of Moons are acquired by doing puzzles and world specific challenges. Maybe you'll need to fish for a Moon, or use a specific costume to get into an area, or maybe you'll need to search for a secret portal to another world. It's never boring to collect the Moons because you can get all of them in different ways. I never felt like it was a slog to get the Moons in certain levels because they all presented their own challenge. That isn't to say the game is hard though. I actually think it's one of the easiest <i>Mario </i>games in terms of difficulty, but it's challenge comes from deducing what you need to do to get a Moon. You can talk to a parrot to get a hint, and if you need a bigger hint you can pay a Toad to reveal to you the location of it, but even then those aren't guarantees that you'll be able to figure out how to get the Moon.<br />
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And how can you get these Moons? Well you can obviously go through platforming sections, but you'll probably use the game's new Capture feature to get a Moon. Now Mario can throw his hat at enemies and send them to the Sunken Place from <i>Get Out </i>as he commandeers their bodies. You can take over 52 kinds of objects, where they're enemies that will hunt you, inanimate objects blocking your way, or obstacles that are themselves the puzzle. All of them have their own features and can be used the navigate the world in their own unique way. You can take control of a tank to shoot at enemies, a long legged creature to raise your height, a Goomba to form Goomba towers, and yes, even humans.<br />
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That brings me to one of the aspects that has a lot of people weirded out by the game; the visual style. People have been really put off by the fact that there are humans in the game, and I mean actual humans you may see in a GTA game, and a T-Rex that contrasts directly with the more cartoony elements of the series. Hell, some people are even put off by the very low-poly inspired Luncheon Kingdom where everything is made out of polygonal objects. While a lot of people don't like how it looks, I think it's pretty charming all thing's considered. The whole point of the game is seeing Mario travel around the world and seeing different locales. Of course not all of them are going to be just like the Mushroom Kingdom. Plus it gives the series to try something different visually and allow the game to stand out because of it.<br />
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All of it is highly engaging to see and play, but that's to be expected. A <i>Mario </i>game is polished to a mirror shine? You don't say. Even as I'm explaining this game to anyone who doesn't know about it, I'm trying to figure out what makes <i>Odyssey </i>so special as a <i>Mario </i>game. I mean, what I just described can be applied to any game in the series. The gameplay is fantastic, the visuals are enticing, and there's a lot of things to do in the game. But what makes <i>Odyssey </i>truly shine?<br />
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Honestly, I think it's just how the game presents itself. Sure, you can just beat the game and that's it, but unlike every other game in the series, there are legitimate reasons for continuing your adventure. You can unlock a huge swath of costumes just to try out and play with. There are three extra worlds to explore that put your <i>Mario </i>skills to the test. If you ever get bored of a world, you can just go to another world and recharge yourself there. The game is completely open to all play styles.<br />
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I love <i>Super Mario Galaxy </i>and <i>Super Mario 3D World</i>, but those games were always too linear to me. I beat a stage. Hooray. But here, there really is no completing a stage. You can open more of a stage, but you can't really "beat it". Hell, even after I collected every Moon, costume, and Capture in the game, I still revisited worlds just to explore around and have fun. Think about that; I already beat a world, there's nothing left for me to do... and I still hung around just to have fun. I think that's the key to <i>Super Mario Odyssey</i>; you can have fun no matter what you're doing.<br />
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Usually I just went to worlds to listen to the fantastic soundtrack. Some worlds mostly just have really quiet ambient music, but other worlds had fantastic songs that I wanted to play on repeat. The best song, by far, is "Jump Up Superstar", the song that's plagued trailers, commercials, and a few key moments of the game, and it sums up the entire game in a nutshell; it's time for an adventure, so strap in, have fun, and just put a big smile on your face.<br />
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Video games, at the end of the day, are meant to be fun. Why would you spend $60 on something that you didn't think was fun? Some games are better at being fun than others, but at the end of the day, as much as hardcore gamers don't want to admit it, video games are toys. They're meant to be played and enjoyed by everyone, and <i>Super Mario Odyssey </i>embodies that idea. Anyone can pick up and enjoy it, and that's something that only a few games could ever do. I don't even think <i>Breath of the Wild </i>was able to accomplished what <i>Super Mario Odyssey </i>does so effortlessly. It invites people to come in, play however they want to, and just have a good time.<br />
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I could nitpick the game with how the removal of a lives system effectively makes death pointless here, but that's one of the smallest nitpicks I could ever make. I'm unapologetic when I say that this is going to be one of the best games of 2017, and I'll even go so far to say that this is my favorite <i>Mario </i>game now. It just does everything right, and even though I beat the game in a week, I would gladly go back and start a new playthrough just because I can. I know some people are hesitant to pick up a Switch, and I even said to wait awhile when I first reviewed the console. but consider that grace period over. Now you have no reason to not go out and pick up a Switch. It has two of the best video games made in recent memory, it has a fantastic lineup coming, and it's just a creative and fun piece of hardware. Get it, and be sure that <i>Super Mario Odyssey </i>is one of your first games.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-76313897353379407552017-11-05T12:13:00.000-08:002017-11-09T09:33:44.026-08:00The Batman Retrospective<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BATMAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!<br />
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You know, I find it kind of ironic that for someone that loves to read comic books, I generally don't like comic book movies. I've talked about this plenty of times, but most comic book movies don't really satisfy what I'm looking for as a fan. And I know that it sound super elitist when I say that I don't like comic book movies because it lets normies follow it and it's a super precious hobby of mine, but rather because I just like reading stories about super heroes than watching them. I'm always aware that it's some actor in a suit fighting against other actors in suits. I'm always thinking "Well that's a good interpretation of this character." Hell, more often than not, people will talk about who's playing the character more than the actual plot.<br />
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Enter Batman, the premiere superhero ever according to most people. I've said before that I don't really like Batman as much as others. Oh sure, he's a cool hero with an amazing rogue's gallery, but Batman is also the least important person in a Batman story. Hal Jordan defines Green Lantern, Superman defines his whole staple of stories, and Wonder Woman defines hers. I can't imagine a Superman story with any other character. I can however imagine a Batman story without Batman. Hell, that usually happens plenty of times with his extended family. Plus DC has this idea that Batman is the only superhero that matters in their lineup, so they'll do anything to promote him and make him relevant to the detriment of other heroes. Why do we have four Batman video games, outstanding as they are, when we don't have a single Green Lantern game or even a remotely good Superman game?<br />
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This extends to film also. I haven't crunched the numbers specifically, but I'm almost certain that Batman has had the most superhero feature films ever. Compared to Superman, Iron Man, and even Spider-Man, Batman has had more films. They'll even shove him into films where he doesn't belong in order to make it more marketable to audiences. What? You thought <i>Batman V. Superman</i> was always meant to be a Batman movie and not a sequel to <i>Man of Steel </i>that became a Batman movie because DC wanted their own little shared universe franchise like Marvel?<br />
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So that got me to thinking that with <i>Justice League </i>coming out in two weeks, I should take a look at every Batman movie hat ever hit the big screen. Regardless of how <i>Justice League </i>turns out, it's at least an interesting exercise to see what led us to this moment. How we went from a campy 1966 movie to a grimdark, ultra serious Batman in 2017. Since Batman has had a lot of animated films, I'm only going to count those that are theatrically released. So no animated movies with the exception of <i>Mask of the Phantasm</i>, which did have a run in theatres. But because of that, I just want to say that one movie not featured in this list, <i>Batman: Return of the Joker</i>, is actually really good and you should totally check it out because it's easily one of my favorite superhero movies. Also, I will talk about <i>Batman V. Superman </i>and <i>The Lego Batman Movie </i>even though I already talked about them. It's just easier to put all of my opinion on the subject in one place and my opinions on those movies have changed since I originally saw them. So let's dive right in since we have 11 movies to talk about!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Batman: The Movie </i>(1966)</td></tr>
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I know a couple of people are horrified at the mere existence of this movie and how it makes a super serious character like Batman into a joke, but two things. One, shut up, Batman was never always a super dark and edgy hero. Just look at Bat Baby, the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh, and that one time he watched tentacle sex with Superman. Two, have a sense of humor. The Adam West Batman TV show was never meant to be super serious, but we look at this movie over half a century later and think of how embarrassing it must have been. In the contrary, this is actually a pretty fun movie, and arguably the most fun Batman movie until <i>The Lego Batman Movie</i>.<br />
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This was the movie that gave us the Bat Shark Repellent, a classic gag that we still have a good laugh at today. But outside of looking at the hokey sets and over the top acting, it actually had a pretty fun plot all things considered. We had a major team up between the Joker, Penguin, The Riddler, and Catwoman, who took possession of a machine that turns people into dust, and it's up to Batman and Robin to save the UN Security Council.<br />
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All of the classic Batman moments are here. The cheesy music, the word balloons that pop out when Batman hits someone, the over the top acting, and all of it is still enjoyable. It's like watching a cartoon come to life in the best ways. I love to read goofier and sillier comics, and <i>Batman: The Movie </i>is in the same league as <i>Superman </i>as being a feel good superhero movie.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEGzkn0Xj6UufEtcJNIXvk_JB559z6XQnxvf31KrFwVFQUAd7OFIIsNvddWRd8N6iqO_Ux4AtzcAwf1d6cyxvv6937FbQ0UIWeV_tROe5KU_IgD5l-2W97CeAPj2Xiyx4-0FfV8Y8VVUak/s1600/Batman_%25281989%2529_theatrical_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="389" data-original-width="259" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEGzkn0Xj6UufEtcJNIXvk_JB559z6XQnxvf31KrFwVFQUAd7OFIIsNvddWRd8N6iqO_Ux4AtzcAwf1d6cyxvv6937FbQ0UIWeV_tROe5KU_IgD5l-2W97CeAPj2Xiyx4-0FfV8Y8VVUak/s320/Batman_%25281989%2529_theatrical_poster.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Batman </i>(1989)</td></tr>
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But if you want a true classic superhero movie, you need to watch Tim Burton's <i>Batman. </i>While I think <i>Batman: The Movie </i>has a cheesy charm equivalent to <i>Superman</i>, <i>Batman </i>rivals <i>Superman </i>in terms of overall quality. This was the Batman movie that defined a generation, and it still holds up fairly well today.<br />
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We get Jack Nicholson's classic take on the Joker, a gangster turns criminal mastermind that causes chaos and anarchy because he can. Batman has to stop him, and it all leads to one hell of a great climax. This was first Batman movie where we actually got to take a look into his psyche and see what makes him tick. There are tons of moments in the movie dedicated to Bruce Wayne, which is pretty rare all things considered. In most Batman movies, we spend a ton of time with Batman and not Bruce Wayne. I think there's only one other movie where we spend the majority of the time with Bruce Wayne, and that took a very different approach. But it works here. We get a Bruce Wayne that feels suave, mature, and is comfortable in his role as Batman.<br />
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My one gripe with this movie is its length, since it does feel like it can go on a bit too long. That normally wouldn't be a problem, but the movie's incredibly dark sets just make it feel like a drag to sit through the duller moments. There are a ton of blacks and grays that litter the world, and after a while it just gets visually boring when not much is happening. But that's a minor gripe, since I still enjoy sitting through <i>Batman </i>whenever I decide to put it on.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4-g7yRXCquX5qGPOxpldzoLb6jC4J5_K9Lql_IogX2TDpbRYXYxA9KPdwsGv41SE3dFo4OpfrzL7jRicmj-zfm0vlRgEuYgeJcfBLe-FwNgZjllVeqLe6IpGqVxlp2OyRR5VszL3klg7m/s1600/Batman_returns_poster2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="388" data-original-width="257" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4-g7yRXCquX5qGPOxpldzoLb6jC4J5_K9Lql_IogX2TDpbRYXYxA9KPdwsGv41SE3dFo4OpfrzL7jRicmj-zfm0vlRgEuYgeJcfBLe-FwNgZjllVeqLe6IpGqVxlp2OyRR5VszL3klg7m/s320/Batman_returns_poster2.jpg" width="211" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Batman Returns </i>(1992)</td></tr>
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And now we get... weird. <i>Batman Returns </i>is a bizarre sequel to <i>Batman </i>in that it takes what works from the original and keeps it, but then forces other aspects in that don't fit with this world. So in Tim Burton's Gotham City, Batman was fairly practical, as was the Joker. They had a few comic book like actions and items, but for all intents and purposes, it was the world that was filled with style, not the characters. I feel like Tim Burton tried to put too much style into his characters and we get... weird results.<br />
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I know that this is still the same universe as the previous movie, but you cannot tell me that Penguin fits into this world. An overweight, small bird guy with an army of penguins that live underneath Gotham and he looks like a nightmare spawn just doesn't fit with this world. Catwoman would, but her character is clearly insane and looks more of like a Joker-lite than anything else. But like the Penguin, you only remember her for one thing; their design. People remember how the Penguin looks and people 1000% remember how Catwoman looks. But the actual plot? Did you remember that Christopher Walken was in this movie as a somewhat major villain? Do you even remember what the overall plot was? Chances are, you don't.<br />
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That would be fine in any other movie, since Batman movies really aren't focused on their plot, but the style is so strong that it supersedes everything else. I remember things about <i>Batman</i>. I remember Bob, Bruce Wayne sitting in his dining room, the Joker's parade, I remember all of that. I couldn't tell you thing one about <i>Batman Returns </i>besides Batman killing people (yup, he still does that) and Catwoman putting a bird in her mouth. This is just a mess of a movie. Not bad, but definitely not good.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Batman: Mask of the Phantasm</i> (1993)</td></tr>
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So here's an odd entry. Between the live action Batman movies, we actually got a feature film from <i>Batman: The Animated Series</i>. It had a theatrical release, and it apparently made $5.6 million at the box office. And all things considered? It's a great Batman movie.<br />
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It's pretty much an elongated episode of the TV show, but that is hardly a strike against the movie. A mysterious figure called The Phantasm comes to Gotham City and starts killing off mobsters, and it's up to Batman to figure out why and stop the Phantasm, as well as deal with a surprise Joker appearance. It's everything that worked in the animated series on the big screen, and it's done perfectly. Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are still the best Batman and Joker's respectively, and the plot actually takes a lot of time to look into Bruce Wayne, which is always a nice little touch. It shows him trying to live a normal life and the decisions that eventually led him to become Batman and sacrifice a normal, happy life. But the movie keeps on bringing up the idea of "Is this what his parent's really want for him? To stop criminals in the night to avenge them?"<br />
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The movie is just as long as it needs to be, and the action is really top notch for the animated series. Bottom line, if you like the animated series, you're going to love <i>Mask of the Phantasm </i>from beginning to end.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Batman Forever </i>(1995)</td></tr>
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Enter, Joel Schumacher. I know that name is like a Banshee wail to Batman fans, and justifiably so as we'll see in a bit, but Schumacher's intention from taking over the Batman franchise from Tim Burton was to make a goofier, make Silver Age take on Batman, alla the old Adam West series. The problem is that he tried to mesh that style with the Tim Burton universe to make something that didn't really belong in either. It was too serious to be goofy and too goofy to be taken seriously. Now that would be a problem very, very shortly, but for <i>Batman Forever</i>, it was kind of a nifty change of pace. I wouldn't say it was great, but it definitely was enjoyable for all of its flaws.<br />
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I'm discovering as I write this that there's little value to talking about significant story beats, but if you wanted to see this movie for one reason, it would be Jim Carrey as the Riddler. Jim Carey just as a ball as the Riddler, being incredibly over-the-top and manic in a way that only Jim Carrey can be. Now that may make this a movie you have to see, or a movie that you would avoid like the plague depending on how much you like him. Everyone else though is just okay. Val Kilmer is probably the most forgettable Batman and has a distinct lack of personality. There's a reason he was only in this one Batman movie is all I'm saying.<br />
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But your enjoyment of this movie will tie solely with how much of Schumacher's style you can stomach. I didn't think it was too grating, but it definitely didn't work out as well as it could have. To be fair to him though, I don't think he could have won no matter what he did. He had to make the movie dark like the previous ones, and if he deviated too far from it no one would see it. It was a tricky situation to navigate, and he succeeded... kind of. So <i>Batman Forever </i>is passable at best, harmless at worst. But then we would get...<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Batman & Robin </i>(1997)</td></tr>
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So remember how I said like a paragraph ago that Schumacher tried to make a a Batman movie that was both serious and goofy and it kind of worked in <i>Batman Forever</i>? That wouldn't happen again. Not only did <i>Batman & Robin </i>fail to be a sequel to <i>Batman Forever</i>, but it's also arguably one of the worst movies of the 90's, if not one of the worst superhero movies period. It tried extra hard to be like the Adam West Batman, but the problem was that the Adam West Batman was always at least somewhat self aware of how silly it was. You don't seriously try to make Bat Shark Repellent a thing. But <i>Batman & Robin </i>took all of it's silliness with deathly seriousness to make a jarring, ugly, and just plain bad movie.<br />
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And I kind of think it's fun to sit through at times.<br />
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Now let me make myself clear, <i>Batman & Robin </i>is not enjoyable to sit through, but so much went wrong here that it's hard not to laugh at it. George Clooney is just terrible as Batman, Bat Nipples, Bat Credit Cards, Uma Thurman being what I can only describe as subtly over-the-top, Bane being nothing more than a ridiculous looking henchman, Robin being so teeth gratingly annoying, and of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze. Mr. Freeze will throw out ice puns, use ice henchmen, make them sing Christmas songs, and is somehow to worst and best thing about the movie. I can't really describe why it all failed so much without going into a massive analysis over every second of this movie, but I would say that this is a Terribad movie in the same league as <i>The Room</i>.<br />
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Is this movie still godawful? Oh, you better believe it. I would never watch this movie again if I had a choice in it, but if I ever did, I could at least laugh my way through it when I'm not bored to tears by it. <i>Batman & Robin </i>could have worked as a movie with a few changes, like wouldn't it be interesting to see if it was completely animated? Like if this movie was done in the same style as <i>Brave & the Bold</i>, I think it might actually be halfway decent. But because it tried so hard to be taken seriously even though it's trying so hard to be campy, it just doesn't work in the slightest. Too bad, so sad. Actually, not sad at all.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Batman Begins</i> (2005)</td></tr>
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Goodbye Schumacher, enter Christopher Nolan. His Batman trilogy is, for me at least, not only the trilogy that made my generation aware of just who Christopher Nolan was, but was also the first time that we got a modern superhero that felt modern. Oh sure, <i>X-Men </i>and <i>Spider-Man </i>were kicking around at the time, but nothing felt more serious and dramatic as <i>Batman Begins </i>as far as superheroes were concerned. Christopher Nolan took a character that was shamed by <i>Batman & Robin </i>and redeemed them over the course of three movies, and it all started out with <i>Batman Begins</i>.<br />
<br />
And I think it's one of the most boring superhero movies I've ever seen.<br />
<br />
I know that I said that some of my favorite parts about earlier Batman movies was that there was a strong focus on Bruce Wayne over Batman, but that doesn't apply here because of one simple reason; Christian Bale is a boring Bruce Wayne. When I see him outside of the Batman suit, all I can see is a Patrick Bateman without anything that made Patrick Bateman stand out. He's just a dull character, and with the majority of the movie dedicated to him and him learning to become Batman, it just feels like a slog to sit through. Even villains like Ra's Al Ghul seem dull and lifeless here, while the Scarecrow, as interesting as he is here, feels like more of an after thought than anything else.<br />
<br />
Now when Batman actually appears and Batman is left to be Batman, we get some legitimately cool scenes. But it takes about half of the film's run time to even get to this point, and even then he only appears four or five times. For a Batman movie, <i>Batman Begins </i>has the smallest amount of Batman out of any Batman movie.<br />
<br />
Some people do love this movie and think it's great, and I think it's fine for an introduction to a trilogy, but as a stand alone movie, it just doesn't work. It's too slow, the characters are dull, and there isn't anything to make this movie stand out looking back on it over a decade later. Nearly everything this movie does is <span style="background-color: white;">done better</span> by the following movies, both of which are significantly better than <i>Batman Begins</i>.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtXx5Apg9eVu45RRradVvuvPwPWkQvbl-aZ9jKwwrIfJzeXBGPHEaQ7M0iVwKWz8h_zv62azZRC-0CYmDyz3W0QgJIFk9T34ltY6N-2kXyqLJo9VjtjktfAM7FJ3G_mvbYBlLQ4uuWOka7/s1600/81AJdOIEIhL._SL1500_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1013" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtXx5Apg9eVu45RRradVvuvPwPWkQvbl-aZ9jKwwrIfJzeXBGPHEaQ7M0iVwKWz8h_zv62azZRC-0CYmDyz3W0QgJIFk9T34ltY6N-2kXyqLJo9VjtjktfAM7FJ3G_mvbYBlLQ4uuWOka7/s320/81AJdOIEIhL._SL1500_.jpg" width="216" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The Dark Knight </i>(2008)</td></tr>
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So if you're a longtime reader of the site, you'll know that my favorite comic book movie is Zack Snyder's <i>Watchmen</i>. I think it's a near perfect adaptation that actually addresses some of the flaws in the original series and fixes them for a modern adaptation. I bring this up because, if I had to choose a second favorite comic book movie, it would have to be <i>The Dark Knight</i>. Chances are, a bunch of people are mad that it isn't #1. It's that good of a movie.<br />
<br />
To say that <i>The Dark Knight </i>is lightning in a bottle is an understatement. This movie spends a majority of its time following Batman instead of Bruce Wayne, and that easily one of the smartest things about this movie. But it doesn't stop there. It adds some great character moments for Batman, shows a truly believable rendition of Two Face, and it just feels like a massive war between Batman and the Joker.<br />
<br />
Oh, Heath Ledger's Joker. He's the best live action Joker, plain and simple. Every scene is instantly compelling the second he appears and he just makes the movie that much better. Heath Ledger won a posthumous Oscar for his role here, and it was completely well deserved. He's terrifying and offered a completely unique take on the Joker; the anarchist. This Joker just lives for destruction and chaos, and it became so popular that now pretty much any Joker that appears in comics or movies pays homage to it in some ways. Heath Ledger made the Joker into a genius force of nature, for better or worse. I think that it was a perfect fit for this movie given the themes and ideas that it tackled and this felt like a Joker that could truly challenge Batman and push him to his limits.<br />
<br />
I adore this movie, and it's not going to be surprising to see where this movie ranks overall. It's one of the best movies of the past decade, and it's the movie that catapulted Batman into the popularity that he's experiencing now. Just think about that. The hype surrounding Batman has endured for nearly a decade because of how good this one movie is. I can't think of any other reason.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5D3dj4nyHmIZ27mIK5HA14bl1chYS7KPNx1CMRkTbWr2bKaQVr2WkhpeTJZSuQ171AC8xAB2z1K_u0L0YTj6fs5yEUpMhn2JADm-uwsFnAX_LylHLWbpl3si54xdZg64rvQvss5P5e0rs/s1600/MV5BMTk4ODQzNDY3Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODA0NTM4Nw%2540%2540._V1_UX182_CR0%252C0%252C182%252C268_AL_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="268" data-original-width="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5D3dj4nyHmIZ27mIK5HA14bl1chYS7KPNx1CMRkTbWr2bKaQVr2WkhpeTJZSuQ171AC8xAB2z1K_u0L0YTj6fs5yEUpMhn2JADm-uwsFnAX_LylHLWbpl3si54xdZg64rvQvss5P5e0rs/s1600/MV5BMTk4ODQzNDY3Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODA0NTM4Nw%2540%2540._V1_UX182_CR0%252C0%252C182%252C268_AL_.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The Dark Knight Rises </i>(2012)</td></tr>
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I remember that when this movie came out, people were split down the middle about it. Some loved it, some were disappointed by it, but the overall sense that I got was that it was merely good. It could never recapture the success of <i>The Dark Knight</i>, but it still tried to be somewhat bold and interesting.<br />
When it first came out, I didn't really like the movie, but after rewatching the Nolan trilogy, I would say that it at least went up a little bit in my opinion. At least it wasn't as dull as <i>Batman Begins</i>.<br />
<br />
Nolan tried to raise the stakes with <i>The Dark Knight Rises</i>, making it into an all out war by the end of the movie between Bane, who is so dumb he's fun here, and Batman, who actually comes across as a legitimate badass in fight scenes. There are a bunch of superfluous elements in it, like remember Catwoman? Yeah, she was in this movie! And she was a big push in the trailers! And she was going to effect the movie in a major way only... she didn't. Like, at all. And remember Joseph Gordon Levitt? He was in this too! That's all I had to say about him.<br />
<br />
At least <i>Rises </i>does a couple of things right though. Bane, goofy voice aside, is pretty entertaining when he's being a villain, and him "Breaking the Bat", is done spectacularly here, as is the finale fight between him and Batman. But the entire middle section just feels like a mandatory break in the action because the movie needed it. The beginning and the ending are easily the best part of the movie, but the middle section decides to tie back into <i>Batman Begins</i> around this point, making the movie dull just by proxy. Thankfully, the supporting cast of Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman hold the movie together while Batman gets his groove back.<br />
<br />
I guess time has been more favorable to this movie than <i>Batman Begins</i> because it holds up surprisingly well all thing's considered. The action is solid, it's a great culmination of Batman's character over the past three movies, and it just gets the ending right. Okay, maybe not the actual final scene and the really weird way that Batman gets his happy ending, but there's actual closure to a Batman story! How rare is that?<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjnQVwZOCvCoccjhIpt7MhtxFXL1SCVgCIdszslL4n31mLOVzvhc-EefYqos3U9WGvRJiFRle1H16GyuyXQ94kFfXYN-YOiAYplVBge3w64LN6jSGN4hR3M_wiKI_IQnXyPX64fkARsVeE/s1600/Batman_v_Superman_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="325" data-original-width="220" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjnQVwZOCvCoccjhIpt7MhtxFXL1SCVgCIdszslL4n31mLOVzvhc-EefYqos3U9WGvRJiFRle1H16GyuyXQ94kFfXYN-YOiAYplVBge3w64LN6jSGN4hR3M_wiKI_IQnXyPX64fkARsVeE/s320/Batman_v_Superman_poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice </i>(2016)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So remember when I wrote a gigantic review about how terrible this movie was and how I called it the worst movie of 2016? Yeah, all of that still holds up. I could explain why again, but since this is a Batman, retrospective, let's focus on him only just to vary it up from the usual "This movie is awful, why is this now a cinematic universe, dear God make this stop".<br />
<br />
So I get that DC was trying to make Batman into a "Dark Knight Strikes Again" figure where he's older, more jaded, and completely mistrusts Superman, and that's all well and good, but Batman is just so joyless and unpleasant to be around. Ben Affleck is a grump here and he somehow makes his Batman voice even worse than Christian Bale's meme worthy voice. Batman is just a brute here that is easily manipulated by Luthor to the point where some of Batman's actions don't even make sense? Plus his whole 1% analogy about how Superman can destroy the human race makes Batman sound more like a villain than Luthor does during the entire movie.<br />
<br />
And let's talk about Batman's murder streak, shall we? So I can buy that Batman maybe killed a few people in the Apokolips inspired dream sequence, because it's a dream sequence and it had Parademons in it, but when batman outright murders goons in a warehouse and wields freaking guns? You don't need to be a Batman fan to know that Batman doesn't kill and especially doesn't use guns because of what he experienced as a child. These are basic facts about the character that every other film gets right, and it's not a hard fact to do right.<br />
<br />
The movie is still joyless, confusing, cynical, dark, bleak, and just a depressing sit. People loved <i>Wonder Woman </i>because it was everything that this movie wasn't! It was fun, entertaining, filled people with hope, and it just did justice to its title character. There was no justice done for Batman or Superman here, and it's easy to see why so many people vehemently hate this movie.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMjJMR1GVrZdsAjxhR-xIg7aZjhpFg8ULyZq0CTfS8BdURuiNiKMbjqUc_cijMal-lK6vfP3onuFC5yqadYllYd4-1Q-DKoVf09pyiU086XagQGZuJJ30Am0-vCl9rpmTAcl4t0Wnpcw8q/s1600/MV5BMTcyNTEyOTY0M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTAyNzU3MDI%2540._V1_UX182_CR0%252C0%252C182%252C268_AL_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="268" data-original-width="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMjJMR1GVrZdsAjxhR-xIg7aZjhpFg8ULyZq0CTfS8BdURuiNiKMbjqUc_cijMal-lK6vfP3onuFC5yqadYllYd4-1Q-DKoVf09pyiU086XagQGZuJJ30Am0-vCl9rpmTAcl4t0Wnpcw8q/s1600/MV5BMTcyNTEyOTY0M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwOTAyNzU3MDI%2540._V1_UX182_CR0%252C0%252C182%252C268_AL_.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The Lego Batman Movie </i>(2017)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Well this is awkward. I gave this movie a 5/5 rating earlier this year praising how fun it was and made Batman into a more comical figure and pointed out the various flaws I have with the Batman mythos. That's all well and good, but after rewatching this movie again, I just thought that the movie was fine. It lost a bit of its luster and I simply don't think it's as good as it was when I first saw it. Now it's still a good movie, but it's not as phenomenal as it was when I reviewed it back in February.<br />
<br />
I love the creativity on display here and the relationship between Batman and the Joker is perfect for what this movie is trying to go for, but <i>The Lego Batman Movie </i>has a very limited pool of tricks. It has Batman acting like a badass, making fun of his badassness and pointing out its flaws, and then the movie rinses and repeats the same shtick for its runtime. Some of the jokes are still funny, but as the movie goes on they become "been there, done that". It honestly just comes across as a <i>Lego Movie</i>-lite, if that makes any sense. It has the same sense of humor and animation style, but <i>The Lego Movie </i>had heart and a pretty compelling narrative behind it. I can't help but feel though that this movie only gets by because it's just a Batman movie. It exists because people know Batman, Batman is profitable, and we can make some good money off of a kid's Batman movie.<br />
<br />
Now that still is pretty interesting to see, since there has never really been a real PG Batman movie aimed for kids (yes, the Tim Burton and Schumacher movies were really popular with kids but they weren't intentionally made to be kid's movies), and it's a fun movie for the whole family because of that. You don't need to be aware of Batman's intricacies in order to enjoy <i>The Lego Batman Movie</i>. It's accessibility is its strength, and it's a unique strength at that. So I still had fun and will easily recommend this to anyone looking for a good kid's movie, but it's not as good as I once thought it was.<br />
<br />
FINAL RANKING<br />
<br />
So this was certainly a major look that went on for a lot longer than I thought it would, so here's my overall quality ranking for every Batman feature film!<br />
<br />
#11 - <i>Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice</i> - It's just not fun to sit through. I'm not entertained, I'm just mad when I watch it.<br />
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#10 - <i>Batman & Robin</i> - As bad as it is, and believe me it's bad, I can't help but crack a smile at how stupid it can get.<br />
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#9 - <i>Batman Begins </i>- It's a dull Batman movie without much Batman in it. What more needs to be said?<br />
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#8 - <i>Batman Returns </i>- It's a confused movie that's too dark for its own good, but does have some elements that make it stand out in an... interesting way.<br />
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#7 - <i>Batman Forever</i> - It may not be for everyone, but if you want just a little bit of silly in your Batman movie, this is the right flick for you.<br />
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#6 - <i>The Lego Batman Movie </i>- Who would have thought that a Lego Batman movie would be good, but lo and behold, it's a pretty solid ride.<br />
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#5 - <i>The Dark Knight Rises </i>- The Nolan Trilogy concludes on a good note with some aspects that work, some that don't, but it still holds up today.<br />
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#4 - <i>Batman: The Movie </i>- Say what you will about the Adam West Batman and how goofy it was, this was a great little film that I had a blast revisiting.<br />
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#3 - <i>Batman </i>- Tim Burton gave us the definition of a classic superhero movie that had style, substance, and a whole lot of action that still holds up today.<br />
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#2 - <i>Batman: Mask of the Phantasm</i> - It's a microcosm of everything that the animated series does well and even gives us a truly memorable subplot about Bruce trying to be happy and not be Batman.<br />
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#1 - <i>The Dark Knight</i> - I mean... come on. Come on.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU16StSTCZDlGv6qAPYMk5ByZJqoRBAMHmVOR9z8MvWRWqQJMksfldWr_hVVUAoCraKU7QUV9F-zvMNobK2OAmUIYek15KV_Pow5V6hBKpzzTwKJ60VZGrhamb4w6be3ua9bgSoJCylLjt/s1600/81AJdOIEIhL._SL1500_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1013" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU16StSTCZDlGv6qAPYMk5ByZJqoRBAMHmVOR9z8MvWRWqQJMksfldWr_hVVUAoCraKU7QUV9F-zvMNobK2OAmUIYek15KV_Pow5V6hBKpzzTwKJ60VZGrhamb4w6be3ua9bgSoJCylLjt/s200/81AJdOIEIhL._SL1500_.jpg" width="135" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-45289719581252779212017-10-31T15:49:00.000-07:002017-10-31T15:56:10.602-07:00The Top 20 Comic Book Villains: 10-1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66IkseqmD937vKqkdzSW-Xe4DCYJg0312KESGKdwNpOkPzAJx5rdqr1QBv4SXSr08Cc9XEoYwqTciSE_oNz6MMrHI0W6KoY_rYXWbUib5CLIzLMTxZ7tsNRoW2oprxPyHgMtc7YuvjwB1/s1600/yjstdu4uqqp6bgxtbgot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="1200" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg66IkseqmD937vKqkdzSW-Xe4DCYJg0312KESGKdwNpOkPzAJx5rdqr1QBv4SXSr08Cc9XEoYwqTciSE_oNz6MMrHI0W6KoY_rYXWbUib5CLIzLMTxZ7tsNRoW2oprxPyHgMtc7YuvjwB1/s640/yjstdu4uqqp6bgxtbgot.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnLg41m9mytvkjlkigOGz3CDr2niwbE8uc_R_mD4sLHFd798qe0_aU2l2MCB-u0IMZ6oiTUZDM6W7xvPBJty1scqjzR9pM3vjY1_73z19c-XeYlwja5FwTcbT65R4UEG9cz6TQuuZuWZJz/s1600/5076837-carnage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="999" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnLg41m9mytvkjlkigOGz3CDr2niwbE8uc_R_mD4sLHFd798qe0_aU2l2MCB-u0IMZ6oiTUZDM6W7xvPBJty1scqjzR9pM3vjY1_73z19c-XeYlwja5FwTcbT65R4UEG9cz6TQuuZuWZJz/s320/5076837-carnage.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#10: Carnage (Marvel Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>Evil Symbiote from space</li>
<li>Took over Cletus Kasady, a literal serial killer</li>
<li>Powered by his own blood</li>
<li>Carnage Rules</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
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I know that a lot of people think that Venom is Spider-Man's ultimate rival and the parallel to everything he represents, I personally think that Carnage is a must better villain to both Spider-Man AND Venom. Yeah, Carnage is so evil that even bad guys think he's too unstable.<br />
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Carnage is actually a Symbiote in the same vein as Venom, but instead of the Symbiote grafting itself onto someone like Eddie Brock, a general jerk but a rational human being, it instead grafted itself onto a man named Cletus Kasady, a psychopath before he merged with the Symbiote. And once he did merge with the Symbiote, he pretty much became a nearly unstoppable force. He's stronger than both Venom and Spidey to the point where he can regenerate, has an enhanced Spider Sense, more physical strength, and can regenerate his suit as long as he has access to his own blood. That's pretty metal if you ask me.<br />
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Whenever Carnage gets loose, it always takes a few heroes to try and stop him. All you need do to is read "Maximum Carnage", an surprisingly good Spider-Man stories from the 90's that isn't related to the Clone Saga! In it, Carnage is able to assemble a team of super villains and cause all sorts of havoc in New York to the point where even normal civilians have picked up his murderous tendencies. And how is Carnage defeated? With the power of love. It's stupid, but whenever Carnage is left to be Carnage, it's amazing. He's an incredibly strong and chaotic villain that is evil because he believes it's the only way to live. It's twisted, but it works.<br />
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Unfortunately, since his debut, Carnage hasn't had the same impact as in previous renditions. Whenever he appears, he's either played as a henchman to a bigger villain or destroys things because he's just all about destruction. To be fair, his character is all about chaos and destruction, but it always had a purpose to it. Why would Carnage ever go to Houston to cause chaos there when he could have attacked any other city on the way there? Gripes aside, Carnage is a classic Spidey villain, but not the best Spidey villain...<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#9: Doc Ock (Marvel Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>An honorable mad scientist</li>
<li>Has 4 robotic claws to do his bidding</li>
<li>Nearly beat Black Cat to death</li>
<li>Actually became Spider-Man!</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Now here is Spider-Man's greatest villain! When push comes to shove, no villain has had quite the impact on Spider-Man's life than Otto Octavious, aka Doc Ock. He was always somewhat of a grumpy man, and after gaining the ability to control four mechanical limbs because... radiation, Doc Ock became one hell of a foe to Spider-Man. He founded the Sinister Six, the group of villains always fighting against Spider-Man, and he even beat Spider-Man on a handful of occasions, most famously when he was overcoming his fear of arachnophobia that Spider-Man gave him by nearly beating him to death. But Doc Ock really became Spidey's #1 villain when he was about to die, and I mean actually die.<br />
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Doc Ock was slowly dying, and in a bid to give himself a legacy, tried even more outlandish schemes to take control of New York City. He constantly failed, until he was able to successfully swipe his mind with Peter's so that Peter was stuck in his deteriorating and dead body. With Peter now dead in Doc Ock's body, Doc Ock became Spider-Man after permanently taking control of Peter's body, but still retaining his memories. That's why Doc Ock vowed to become the Superior Spider-Man, someone who was better than Peter could ever be.<br />
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Oh sure, he may have been a hero, but never forget the fact that he still murdered Peter. Intentionally. Doc Ock won, and even when he was being Spider-Man, he was still a jerk to nearly everyone he ever knew. Not only that, but Doc Ock pretty much ignored a rising Green Goblin threat to purse Peter's consciousness and memories from his body. Doc Ock is a deeply selfish person in that regard, and couldn't even be a good Spider-Man because he was too obsessed with finally ending Peter Parker.<br />
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So what have we learned here? Doc Ock is a mad scientist that formed a powerful organization to beat Spider-Man, literally beat Spider-Man, literally killed Spider-Man, took over his body, then proceeded to piss on Peter's legacy. And this is why comic book super villains are crazy.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPJLgT7QU1VoF1vtlV7e63WDcpnHWcYTqhjdhKTCu9Qqrl8CNZOz8XJOU4t9THCEZ1JMNRIq_VmkZlmum9xEAz7ZxFCrqZE7TBJ3JdjT_pO0Nj4JI-5bJvXgBN5l2BUoAoyc5SeOxzXbvh/s1600/Justice_League_Vol_2_24_Textless.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1108" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPJLgT7QU1VoF1vtlV7e63WDcpnHWcYTqhjdhKTCu9Qqrl8CNZOz8XJOU4t9THCEZ1JMNRIq_VmkZlmum9xEAz7ZxFCrqZE7TBJ3JdjT_pO0Nj4JI-5bJvXgBN5l2BUoAoyc5SeOxzXbvh/s320/Justice_League_Vol_2_24_Textless.jpg" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#8: The Crime Syndicate (DC Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>Evil Justice League from Earth 3</li>
<li>Rules over the United States of Amerika</li>
<li>Crossed over into the main DCU several times</li>
<li>Ultraman nearly obliterates existence just to punch Superman</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I know I may be cheating putting in an entire super villain team, but the Crime Syndicate function better as a whole than individually. They're evil versions of the Justice League, and that's all you really need to know about them. Imagine if all of the positive traits of the Justice League were completely inverted; Green Lantern became a fearing coward, Batman lost his sense of empathy and got a sense of sadism, Wonder Woman domineered people, and Superman became a power hungry dictator. Put them all together, and you get the Crime Syndicate!<br />
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The Crime Syndicate are just a fun group of villains to read about. There's something fun about seeing evil versions of the world's greatest heroes, and seeing the Crime Syndicate fight the Justice League is always a real treat. You have "Crisis on Two Earths" where the Justice League enter the Crime Syndicate's world to fight them and save their Earth to no avail, and you have "Forever Evil", a series where the Crime Syndicate defeats the Justice League and now it's up to the villains to defeat them. Both stories are highly enjoyable and I recommend picking them both up.<br />
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I honestly don't have much more to say about them besides... they're the mirror universe Justice League. They live on causing misery and pain because that's just who they are. Completely, unabashedly evil. Sometimes, that's all you really need.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisE2BsSvF8v2kTjj2KlKtKb2xTpjDMoCqwhyjI6CG7ThdYtvvjUJFjBh5lRMPVf5P4FHFUSmdS05NFr2AmJdPQkLnibE8AWa8IB6Qus4sRKTfWcwDT6G-nXfjDSjcS1TzcyCuNMmoTjB99/s1600/file_191643_0_ozymandias658.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="370" data-original-width="658" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisE2BsSvF8v2kTjj2KlKtKb2xTpjDMoCqwhyjI6CG7ThdYtvvjUJFjBh5lRMPVf5P4FHFUSmdS05NFr2AmJdPQkLnibE8AWa8IB6Qus4sRKTfWcwDT6G-nXfjDSjcS1TzcyCuNMmoTjB99/s320/file_191643_0_ozymandias658.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#7: Ozymandias (DC Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>Smartest man in the world</li>
<li>Founder and CEO of Veidt Industries</li>
<li>Engineered the apocalypse to save the world</li>
<li>Caught a bullet with his bare hands</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It's funny how we went from a group of villains the relished being evil to a man that would consider himself a hero despite all of his evil deeds. You know, thinking about Ozymandias, I remember a quote from the foreward to "Justice", a 12 issue maxi series written by Alex Ross. In it, one of the early themes present is that no one ever thinks of themselves as the villain. No one wakes up in the morning, declares that they will be evil, then act on them. Sure, it works for some villains, like 5% of them, but not so much for the rest. Ozymandias is the embodiment of that phrase.<br />
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On the eve of nuclear Armageddon, Ozymandias orchestrates an elaborate plan in order to kill over 3,000,000 people by making them think that Earth was being invaded by aliens in order to unite all global powers in a single effort to defeat the alien menace. To do this, he kills several people, intentionally gives several people cancer, stages an assassination attempt at his own life, and forces Dr. Manhattan, who has quantum mechanical powers rivaling God, into a self imposed exile to complete his plan.<br />
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And it works. Ozymandias's plan goes off without a hitch. He kills millions and averts nuclear war across the globe. In his eyes, he's a hero. No one will know about the things that he has done, but he can sleep at night knowing he saved the world. He may have had to kill innocent lives, but it's better than having everyone on Earth die... right? Even by the end of "Watchmen", Ozymandias doesn't know if he did the right thing. If he a hero? Or a villain? It's rich complexity like that that makes him stand out above every other villain on this list. He doesn't think he's evil, and some readers may not think that he is a villain, but his actions speaker louder than his morally conflicting words.<br />
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Oh wait, "Doomsday Clock" is still a thing and he may be a villain in it and for some reason "Watchmen" is getting a canonical sequel. WELL THEN.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#6: The Riddler (DC Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>Real name: Edward Nashton</li>
<li>Fascinated with riddles and puzzles</li>
<li>Took over Gotham City once</li>
<li>Deduced Batman's secret identity</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The Riddler is a special kind of villain. I've mentioned a few times already how a villain's intelligence plays into their effectiveness as a villain, but I don't think there's any villain whose intelligence can hurt them as much as the Riddler. The Riddler is an ego maniac that is able to pull off fantastic heists, but constantly shoots himself in the foot by leaving clues for Batman or any other hero to solve.<br />
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Is it counter productive? Incredibly. But at the same time, it just makes the Riddler into a classic super villain. I honestly think that the Riddler is the perfect super villain for the Silver Age. He's a maniac that pulls off crimes and dares heroes to catch him but no matter how serious his plans are, he always has that little goofy charm to him. I don't care how serious he can get or how gruesome he can be, like when he became Mockingjay for the Secret Six and beats people with his cane, if you're a man that runs around and leaves clues for people, how can you not at least laugh at little at that.<br />
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The Riddler is at his best when he's not being taken seriously. Whenever he has a super elaborate plan that Batman solves by piecing together insane hints is what makes the Riddler enjoyable. I lvoe it when Batman gets a hint from the Riddler and Batman speaks out his train of thought and all of its logical impossibilities, and yet it's completely true. The Riddler makes crime into a game, and who doesn't love to play a game? It's just that a game with the Riddler usually involves murder, money, and egomania.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#5: The Scarecrow (DC Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>Was a former university professor</li>
<li>Created fear toxin he eventually became numb to</li>
<li>Was briefly a Yellow Lantern</li>
<li>Seriously, he was the best part of <i>Arkham Asylum</i></li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I have a special kind of relationship with Scarecrow. No, it isn't just because I look like his actor in the Christopher Nolan Batman movies (although that is a fun little coincidence), but more so the fact that the Scarecrow is such a simple concept that's executed brilliantly. He's a man who uses fear as a weapon against bystanders and heroes. He gets into their deepest anxieties and uses it against them, and what's not deliciously evil about that.<br />
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The sad part about him, and why he's such a difficult character for me to put on this list, is that most, if not all, of his feats have occurred outside of comics. There are several amazing <i>Batman: The Animated Series </i>episodes about Scarecrow, and who could ever forget his actions in <i>Batman: Arkham Asylum</i>? He does have a few good stories in comics, like that time when he became a Yellow Lantern in "Blackest Night" and frequently using his fear toxin to interact with other heroes.<br />
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So if I love the character for everything else he's done, why is he so high? Honestly, because if you were to take away the rule forbidding outside media, I still would have placed Scarecrow this high. Most of his best moments come from games, movies, and television, and I can't ignore that. Scarecrow was once a goofy guy in a mask that made himself look like a Scarecrow intentionally in the comics. But outside of comics? He can look like a monster. He can look like an intimidating force of nature. Hell, he can look civil but cause grown men to pee themselves. I know plenty of people who think that the Scarecrow alone is what made <i>Arkham Asylum </i>a great game, and I'm nearly certain that his popularity is what made him the villain of <i>Arkham Knight</i>.<br />
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So yeah, I'm breaking the rules with the fear inducing villain, but to be fair, I also let The Joker slip into my Top 20 Movie Villains last year, so I think it balances out.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#4: Galactus (Marvel Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>The first living being in the Marvel Universe</li>
<li>Frequent Fantastic Four foe</li>
<li>Once beat Order and Chaos</li>
<li>Called Thanos a tool</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If you were to ask me what one of my favorite Marvel comics is, I would easily say "The Galactus Trilogy" in "Fantastic Four". The entire point of the trilogy was to introduce the Fantastic Four to a villain unlike any other comic book villain at the time; Galactus. Galactus is a a cosmic entity that only has one goal; to feed on and consume the energy from planets. He comes near a planet, devours it, and moves on without any emotional investment. Galactus is a force of nature to many and indestructible to nearly everyone he encounters.<br />
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I've never been one to understand Marvel's cosmic mythology. While DC's cosmic mythology is relatively easy to follow (it usually just revolves around the Green Lanterns), Marvel's is pretty intense. There are multiple races with varied allegiances, and even more cosmic beings that shape the foundation of the universe. Galactus is one of those cosmic beings, and is by far one of the most important ones. Galactus is the first living being in the universe and is the most technologically advanced being in the Marvel universe. He can create a near infinite amount of energy and even possesses a machine that can remake the Multiverse at will.<br />
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But that's just what Galactus possesses. What can he actually do? Well besides from being an someone who can't be defeated (from what I can tell he has died once or twice but was usually revived after people realized that the universe actually needs him to function), he's gone on and done some fairly significant things that complete eradicate Order and Chaos. Yes, the two physical embodiments of the metaphysical idea of Order and Chaos were trounced by Galactus, and if I was to list the amount of planets that he has consumed, his spot would go on for another couple of paragraphs.<br />
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Stan Lee and Jack Kirby wanted to try and create a different kind of villain with Galactus. They wanted to break away from the super intelligent, tyrannical overlord that was used to death in comics in the 60's, and for all intents and purposes, they succeeded. They made a villain that doesn't view themselves as evil and is so powerful that his presence is enough annihilate planets. And the best thing of all? He became friends with Squirrel Girl. Because even a galactic being of pure hunger has to love Squirrel Girl.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#3: Doctor Doom (Marvel Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>Ruler of Latveria</li>
<li>Egomaniacal to the letter</li>
<li>Had a bad plan? It was actually a Doombot</li>
<li>Rewrote existence as God Emperor Doom</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Let's run off the badass list here for a minute. Victor von Doom is a scientist/tyrant/gypsy from the nation of Latveria who frequently tries to take over the world, makes deals with heroes in exchange for favors when they're at their weakest, and is so evil that he actually stops a plan created by Galactus just because he's a selfish man. Who doesn't love Doctor Doom?<br />
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<div>
Doctor Doom is the defeacto villain of the Marvel universe. Whenever Doom makes an appearance, he gets results. He's not a villain that has a simple scheme and gets thwarted by the heroes. Doom's plans are slow and methodical. He plans for nearly every possible occasion and is able to turn them to his advantage. His plans have allowed him to take control of the Silver Surfer's powers, take control of the Beyonder's power, and oh yeah, did I mention he became Supreme God Emperor Doom and rewrote reality when here is an all powerful being that sits on a throne made from the branches of Yggdrasil, the God Tree. Doom has done it all. </div>
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<div>
But it gets better. Doctor Doom usually acts with Doombots, robotic duplicates of himself that have his intelligence, strength, and sorcery capabilities, and he uses them to attack his enemies. Or whenever they go rogue, they could have their own evil schemes to rival Doom's own plans. Then when Doom is eventually defeated, guess what? Because he has diplomatic immunity as the supreme ruler of Latveria, he gets off free. No repurcussions, no prison sentence, just a slap on the wrist and maybe some trouble for Latveria down the road, but nothing that Doom can't overcome. </div>
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<div>
Doom is what happens when you get a villain that is expertly crafted. From his first appearance to now, Doctor Doom is a villain that has weight to him. Whenever you see that Doctor Doom is involved in a story, like "Secret Wars" (both of them), or even in a title like "Iron Man", readers know that something is about to go down. What makes a villain really special, to me at least, is when they aren't thrown around haphazardly. It's super fulfilling to see a villain used in moderation so that they don't become too common of a threat, but still rare enough to know that something serious is about to happen. </div>
<div>
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<div>
I truly think that Doctor Doom is the best villain that Marvel has ever made, and he doesn't reach the Top 2 just because his competition is that fierce. And he lost to Squirrel Girl. Like, not a Doombot or a clone, Doctor Doom just flat out lost to Squirrel Girl. Even Galactus befriended her. Shame on you Doom. Shame. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#2: Darkseid (DC Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>Ruler of Apokolips</li>
<li>Seeker of the Anti-Life Equation</li>
<li>Killed Batman</li>
<li>Darkseid is.</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I don't think you can get more powerful than Darkseid.<br />
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<div>
Darkseid is simply a being of pure evil whose sole purpose is to subjugate the weak and control the entire universe. And while some cosmic villains aspire to be like Darkseid, no other villain has actually attained it. Even before a single hero got involved in his life, he killed his father, took over the planet of Apokolips and forced everyone into slave camps to serve and honor him, gives direct order to other Gods and beings of unimaginable power, and frequently goes to war with the New Gods for dominion over the universe. Darkseid is pretty scary all things considered. Even Superman has a hard time dealing with him. </div>
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<div>
But if you were to ask me what makes Darkseid such a compelling villain, all you need to do is read "Final Crisis". In it, Darkseid is killed, but his corpse it literally dragging humanity into oblivion with it. His spirit then takes control of a human, slowly corrupting him, all so that Darkseid can finally use the Anti-Life Equation, a formula to subjugate all life and control every thought and soul in reality. And he does it. He uses to Equation to take control of Earth. He enslaves several superheroes. He kills Batman, and he's only truly dead when Superman uses a power he had to get from beyond reality to do it. </div>
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Darkseid can back up his claims of villainy, but like Doctor Doom, Darkseid appearances are rare, but immensely satisfying. Just to see Darkseid stand is enough to make a person pee their pants. If Darkseid says something, it's enough to make even Metron, a being of complete knowledge that exceeds all know universes, sweat. But Darkseid isn't a villain that will casually throw a plan around to take over the world. His goals have always been laser focused and will only interfere with heroes if they attack him, or if they're in the way between him and the Anti-Life Equation. </div>
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I can't stress enough how intimidating of a figure Darkseid is, but I'm going to try my best. Darkseid is synonymous with evil in the DC universe. His name isn't casually thrown around. When people say his name, it's because they have to. The phrase "Darkseid is" is probably the single reason for why evil exists in the universe, why futility is a thing, why hopelessness and despair are known, and why it's impossible to oppose Darkseid. Because Darkseid is. </div>
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And the only reason he isn't #1 is because for as powerful and as foreboding as Darkseid is, there's one villain that can surpass him. One villain that embodies everything it is to be a super villain. So say it with me now. The #1 best comic book villain is...</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#1: The Joker (DC Comics)<br />
<ul>
<li>Real name unknown</li>
<li>Too many good stories to name</li>
<li>Apparently there are 3 Jokers running around...?</li>
<li>I mean... duh.</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
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This really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Not only is the Joker one of the best comic book villains ever created, but he's arguably one of the most iconic villains ever created. Hell, I would go as far as to say that he just may be the greatest villain ever created outside of actual real life monsters. I don't think there is a single person that doesn't know who the Joker is. Hell, there are probably more people that know who the Joker is than there are people that know any other villain on this list. </div>
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Where do I even begin with him? Well let's talk about his best stories. "The Killing Joke". "Death in the Family". "Death of the Family". "Mad Love". "Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth". I could go on for days about some of the best Joker stories ever told, he just has that many. And what about feats? Murdering Jason Todd, stealing Mr. Mxyzptlk's 5th dimensional powers, paralyzing Barbara Gordon, driving Harleen Quiznel insane, again this list can go on for days. He's everything that Batman isn't, and yet he's everything that balances out Batman. The entropy to Batman's order. </div>
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I think the better question to ask with the Joker isn't why he's the best villain in comic books, but why he's so popular outside of it. Is it the movies? Is it his design? Is it the fact that he's a clown? Personally, I think that all of those help, but the one thing that defines the Joker in popular culture is his personality. There isn't a villain that you love to hate, hate to love, or enjoy to see as much as the Joker. He can bring a story to life just by simply appearing in it. Every other villain can be scary, but they're not as enjoyable at the Joker. The Joker just makes things pop if that makes any sense. </div>
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Plus he can be played in a ton of different ways. He can be a gangster, he can be a psychopath, he can be a mastermind, or he can be a prankster. No matter how the Joker is shown though, he remains engaging and it still makes sense for his character. I don't think I can really do justice to the oldest comic book villain appearing on this list. The Joker is just fun to read, and he's so good I had to put him into my Top 20 Movie Villains list last year, and even then he was #5! He made it far on a technicality! So let's give a cheer to the Joker, not only the best comic book villain, but one of the best fictional villains ever created. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-31306755781055333362017-10-29T11:20:00.000-07:002017-10-29T11:20:12.918-07:00The Top 20 Comic Book Villains: 20-11<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK5oqgKZhzIQcEqeresjlFbMClNxDpNPC2Z2EOKwcfsNmELFHDmxprkxWk7tudeOYBtzIPP7WD9rgMPNuMmjjW5U1b8g7tsHooW-hfS7q_nuEHPMD2HtHcAFQrJbnKgDRFqbqJLRwDjKsY/s1600/viloes_evn_by_8scorpion-d6xabwt-top-10-comic-book-villains-jpeg-100306.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="1200" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK5oqgKZhzIQcEqeresjlFbMClNxDpNPC2Z2EOKwcfsNmELFHDmxprkxWk7tudeOYBtzIPP7WD9rgMPNuMmjjW5U1b8g7tsHooW-hfS7q_nuEHPMD2HtHcAFQrJbnKgDRFqbqJLRwDjKsY/s640/viloes_evn_by_8scorpion-d6xabwt-top-10-comic-book-villains-jpeg-100306.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Time for our first batch of villains; the baddies to make any superhero run.<br />
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Now that we have our introduction out of the way, let's get into the Top 20 for real this time.<br />
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As I was writing this section, the one thing that I couldn't get out of my head was the fact that so many villains couldn't appear on this list just because of how many comic book villains actually exist. If I could, I would make this a Top 100 list, but that just wouldn't be practical. And again, these are the villains that I think are the best comic book villains, so your opinion is just as valid. That being said, I may have included a villain or two that may not be quite as villainous as the others, but deserve to be mentioned for one reason or another. I promise you, it'll make sense once you get to their entry. So let's start the dive with...<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#20: Poison Ivy (DC Comics)<br /><ul>
<li>Has the power to control plants</li>
<li>Frequently has misadventures with Harley Quinn</li>
<li>Actually took control of Superman through plants</li>
<li>Has a certain... sex appeal.</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Poison Ivy is a unique character on this list mostly
because she’s a woman. As shocking as it is to me, I would have expected more
female villains to appear on this list, but to be perfectly honest, most of
them would I would call anti-heroes. Usually they team up with other heroes,
unite for a common cause, or fall in love with a male hero. Not only that, but most female super villains just exist because of their sex appeal. If you were to take a look at a list of one-off female super villains, you would see that they all have one thing in common; revealing costumes, and... revealing costumes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But Poison Ivy? She’s a bit different. Yes, she can have
benevolent moments, but for every instance she’s team up with a hero like
Batman for a mega event, there’s usually a story or two of her being evil and
fighting against Batman. Whether it’s her teaming up with Braniac to create a
new world order or to introduce drugs into Gotham City, Poison Ivy has a
legitimate evil streak going on. Plus, her powers are pretty unique, being able
to control plants and nature at will tot he point where she can actually convince other humans to do her bidding, even heroes like Superman and Green Lantern!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Also, and this goes without saying, Poison Ivy has a…
striking appearance to say the least. I’ll be frank when I say that the most noteworthy
thing about Poison Ivy may just be her appearance. I know that that's a bit hypocritical because of how I just said that most lame female villains get by on their sex appeal, but Poison Ivy is pretty much the symbol of sex appeal in comics, if not THE sexiest super villain in comic books. I don’t know
whether or not that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but if a cool design is
enough to put a villain on the board, then it should work for Poison Ivy. So
female representation! Even though she’s half naked… you win some, you lose some, right? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#19: Gideon Graves (Oni Press)<br /><ul>
<li>Ramona's 7th Evil Ex</li>
<li>Designer of the Chaos Theatre</li>
<li>Founder of the League of Evil Exes</li>
<li>Has a fascination with <i>Kingdom Hearts </i>references</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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See? It’s a Canadian villain! Or at least, the series he’s
from was made in Canada… Gideon is actually from New York so… representation?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anyway, Gideon is the final evil ex that Scott Pilgrim had
to fight against in his struggle to be Ramona’s boyfriend, and what a doozy
Gideon is. He organized the League of Evil Exes and he’s as maniacal as a <i>Kingdom Hearts </i>villain, going so far as to kidnap his seven ex girlfriends to freeze them until he wants to love them again. He’s able to manipulate subspace (long story short, he can warp and manipulate emotions) and can actually pose a
threat to Scott on multiple levels. He steals Ramona, controls her mind, creates
a weapon that effects everyone else’s mind, and actually kills Scott! Scott had an
extra life though, so he's able to kick Gideon's ass. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Outside of a fantastic final fight, the biggest strike
against Gideon is how little he’s actually in the series. He’s referenced a handful of times before the final volume, and even in the final volume we see him maybe
once or twice before the final fight. To be fair, the final fight takes up the
majority of the final volume, but when the big bad is reserved for only the end
of a series, he loses a bit of his impact as a villain. Still, just for his
feats alone, Gideon Graves deserves a spot on this list.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#18: Mr. Mxyzptlk (DC Comics)<br /><ul>
<li>Imp from the 5th dimennion</li>
<li>Has the ability to rewrite reality</li>
<li>NEVER LET GRANT MORRISON WRITE HIM</li>
<li>Was once voiced by Gilbert Gottfried!</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Unpronounceable name aside, Mr. Mxyzptlk is a special villain on this
list. For all intents and purposes, he's relatively omnipotent. He’s an imp from the fifth dimension
whose powers are pretty much unmatched by any other villain. Depending on the
story, Mr. Mxyzptlk can have powers that bend the fabric of reality itself and
can easily beat a being like Superman. Hell, the only reason that Superman is
able to defeat him time and time again is because Mr. Mxyzptlk doesn’t actually
want to fight Superman. He just wants to play games with him and seeing as how Superman is pretty much a God among men, who else would be a perfect fit for him?</div>
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Mr. Mxyzptlk stands out because while he is a villain, he’s never truly malicious. He never wants to end all life in the
third dimension, but rather just have fun with the only person that could play
with him. And even when he does get malicious, like when he
rewrites reality so that Superman’s son is erased from existence, he only does
so because he believes that Superman forgot about him and wanted to play with him
like old times. Granted, play for Mr. Mxyzptlk means to slowly erode the space
time continuum, but usually reality goes back to normal after he leaves. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So no, Mr. Mxyzptlk isn’t a traditional mustache twirling
villain that wants to rule the world. He’s an imp that just wants to have fun
at the expense of others. He’s about as villainous as a Bugs Bunny, but his
power makes him a dangerous foe if he even got serious. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#16: Mystique (Marvel Comics)<br /><ul>
<li>A mutant with the ability to shapeshift</li>
<li>Loyal to Magneto</li>
<li>Trying to untangle her web of alliances is too impossible for me</li>
<li>So wait, HOW OLD IS SHE?</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Oh look! It’s the other female villain of this list!
Mystique doesn’t have the sex appeal (or the same level of it) as Poison Ivy,
but Mystique gets by mostly due to her ruthlessness. She’s a shapeshifter who can change her
appearance to anyone whenever she wants, and her skills as a fighter are
deadly. That being said, her ability as a shapeshifter isn’t just limited to
her looking like another person. She can completely alter her cells in order to
change her appearance, meaning that biologically she can perfectly impersonate a person. You wouldn't even be able to tell if a person was Mystique unless she revealed herself to you. She also has the full ability to rejuvenate her cells to make
her look younger, effectively making her immortal. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m not going to lie, trying to do a complete look at
Mystique and her history as a villain was a bad idea. Her backstory is so
incredibly complex, whether it’s looking at the organizations she’s belonged
too, heroes she’s fought, and even people she’s mothered. Yeah, she’s Rogue’s
and Nightcrawler’s mother. Don’t ask why. I’m not a big X-Men fan, so trying to
unravel the history of the X-Men means unraveling the history of Mystique and
her history as a villain, and while I do think she's a good villain, I wasn't prepared to delve into nearly 40 years of character history and story arcs for her.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Still, I can at least acknowledge a successful villain when
I see one. I may not be the biggest Marvel fan, or even X-Men fan, but I can at
least see a good villain from a mile away. It’s not every day you get a female
villain as destructive and intelligent as Mystique, so even if it’s just a low
ranking mention, I’ll give it to her. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#15: Sinestro (DC Comics)<br /><ul>
<li>Founder of the Sinestro Corps (duh)</li>
<li>The original White Lantern of Life</li>
<li>Killed every Guardian in the Universe</li>
<li>Bros with Black Adam</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Fun fact; I was originally going to put The Purple Man on
this list. His appearance in <i>Jessica Jones </i>was phenomenal and I loved seeing
him twist and bend people’s minds. But after I came up with my rule to remove
TV shows and movies and focus solely on comics, I decided that he needed to
come off. And who should come in and fill the void but our good ol’ ex Green
Lantern friend Sinestro?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sinestro is the leader of the Yellow Lantern Corps and has
the power of fear. He’s intelligent and very aware of the power of fear that he
can create. Some of the best Sinestro stories just involve him using his power
and fear to try and take over the world, but Sinestro is only truly good
whenever he’s interacting with Hal Jordan, his former trainee. Sinestro and Hal
have a complex relationship, but Sinestro displays that a villain can transcend
from being simply okay to being truly special thanks to their arch rival. If it
wasn’t for his relationship with Hal Jordan, he’d just be a Space Scarecrow.
All of Sinestro’s greatest moments, the creation of the Yellow Lanterns,
becoming the White Lantern of Life, and killing all of the Guardians of the
Universe were in direct conflict with Hal (yes, even the White Lantern, cause he shoved Hal Jordan out of the way so he could get it first). Whenever Sinestro was being a
villain on his own, he never had the same notoriety as he did when he was
fighting against Hal. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Geoff Johns does a fantastic job of fleshing out Sinestro as
a villain and as a sympathetic one. Not only that, but Johns actually turns
Sinestro into a tragic villain by the end of his run by having Sinestro say to
Hal Jordan “That’s the funny thing Jordan. We were always friends.” Complex,
maniacal, and too arrogant for his own good, Sinestro was one villain that had a great role as being Hal Jordan's foil.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKbeyFFSeT3quEEi6TVYmUJ2UsKPwgn0bWijF_H5O44bF7554JYvSfV7pkzHO9-HT1ETkdwxYRUt6Cs6hpiFjznBKmLMEohdztuQYJOoxMYFtp-0kcHBU7ViCpqtbFTQihAjfXdsCex0Jx/s1600/Negan-The-Walking-Dead-comic-640x360.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKbeyFFSeT3quEEi6TVYmUJ2UsKPwgn0bWijF_H5O44bF7554JYvSfV7pkzHO9-HT1ETkdwxYRUt6Cs6hpiFjznBKmLMEohdztuQYJOoxMYFtp-0kcHBU7ViCpqtbFTQihAjfXdsCex0Jx/s320/Negan-The-Walking-Dead-comic-640x360.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#15: Negan (Image Comics)<br /><ul>
<li>Head of The Saviors</li>
<li>Has a spiked baseball bat he named Lucille</li>
<li>Used to be a teacher</li>
<li>Loves children's rhymes</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Our other independent villain makes his appearance, and
Negan is certainly one to remember. The best villains are usually the polar
opposite of their respective heroes, and Negan is definitely Rick Grime’s
counterpoint. Negan is the incredibly violent leader of the Saviors, a group of
humans that have survived under Negan’s control since the start of the zombie apocalypse and oftens leads them through increasingly violent behaviors. <o:p></o:p></div>
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For a lot of people, myself included, the first time I saw
Negan was for <i>The Waling Dead’s </i>Season
6 finale. Man, what a finale that was! It was then that I really got into "The Walking Dead" and when I reached that scene in the comics, that scene alone cemented Negan as something special; a violent monster,
but one with a fierce moral code. Negan acts in a very particular way and keep
people alive as long as they are useful to him or can be useful. And for anyone
that acts cowardly towards him or anyone else that wants to take people by
surprise, Negan will kill them in cold blood. Negan also detests rape and
claims that all of his wives (he has multiple wives by the way) are all with him because
they want to be with him. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But yeah, Negan is on this list mostly for his dark sense of
humor, his brutal displays of violence, and how he is constantly at wits with
Rick about nearly everything. Besides, Negan is one of only a handful of
villains that actually debuted in the last decade or so, so that’s something
that I personally enjoy, that great villains don’t have to be established
characters with years of backstories and story arcs. Sometimes you just need a
bat and a sadistic grin to be a great villain. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhULh-qEjNGfl929wiTwa4P8BYiUEAk-dqDrJR696I8l9P7mk0IEgB_tCRMVEeQNAfqE4oWFcnAYihkH8SkadxEWGRyTx37OmMaxT4vbb94gBuCQS2FKPhfeJWSSkJnEaOha8Jvve3NscQu/s1600/4507590-0526950807-red_s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1016" data-original-width="786" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhULh-qEjNGfl929wiTwa4P8BYiUEAk-dqDrJR696I8l9P7mk0IEgB_tCRMVEeQNAfqE4oWFcnAYihkH8SkadxEWGRyTx37OmMaxT4vbb94gBuCQS2FKPhfeJWSSkJnEaOha8Jvve3NscQu/s320/4507590-0526950807-red_s.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#14: The Red Skull (Marvel Comics)<br /><ul>
<li>Head of the villainous organization Hydra</li>
<li>Is pretty much super villain Hitler</li>
<li>Once combined with Professor X's brain</li>
<li>Even the Joker thinks he's a monster</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Because of course there would be a Nazi on this list. </div>
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I almost feel like I don't need to give a reason for why Red Skull appears on this list. He's the head of Hydra, a villainous group of people worse than the Nazis that want to take over the world. So instead of telling you why comic Hitler is on this list, let's talk about the goofier things about him! Because if you're a villain with a giant red head who is meant to be taken seriously, of course I'm going to poke fun at him. </div>
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Remember that time when he took out Professor X's brain and combined with it to become a giant monster called Red Onslaught? Or that time when he was in a dream world with Steve Rogers and pretty much acted like Negan, spiked baseball bat and all? Or how's about the fact that he was a clone and his mind also possessed another man for several years that he sued as the guise of Red Skull? And of course, the time when the Joker and him teamed up to rule the world, but when the Joker found out that he was a Nazi, the Joker got ready to fight him to the death because sure that Joker is a monster, but he's an AMERICAN MONSTER!</div>
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Good times, good times... so yeah, goofy red Hitler gets the Number 14 slot. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2QR3XS7HXKw1eKeo0di6U8kFFZjI4ph9s-w73dgpHSEk6PmnL_ReRGyHcYUgooXpPVlwitJElroDmgUSwIn4ayMfbzhmLFrKGrSRPBdOvSXG37jrT8iU4E1DFvco6Pi95VLf3-Cg6OD8J/s1600/preacher-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2QR3XS7HXKw1eKeo0di6U8kFFZjI4ph9s-w73dgpHSEk6PmnL_ReRGyHcYUgooXpPVlwitJElroDmgUSwIn4ayMfbzhmLFrKGrSRPBdOvSXG37jrT8iU4E1DFvco6Pi95VLf3-Cg6OD8J/s400/preacher-6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#13: Odin Quincannon (Vertigo)<br /><ul>
<li>Head of the Quincannon Meat & Packing Company</li>
<li>Has a Neo Nazi as his secretary</li>
<li>Speaks in third person</li>
<li>Likes meat... a lot.</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I actually read “Preacher” for the first time over this
summer. For those of you who don’t know, “Preacher” is a series about a
preacher named Jesse Custer that gains “The Word of God”, a power that allows
him to force people to do whatever he says. Jesse decides to take this power
and find God, who abdicated the throne of Heaven and went… somewhere. Where exactly? Well that's what Jesse wants to find out. Now “Preacher” is known for its wild cast of characters, and there are plenty of
great villains in the series like Herr Starr, a German member of religious organization The Grail that
wants to introduce Jesse as the Messiah in their own engineered Armageddon, but
the best villain, for me at least, is the little old man Odin Quincannon. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Odin is a racist, 75-year old midget that lives in the town
of Anvil, Texas. Odin owns a meat packing plant and gives his employees free
range to do whatever he wants to the civilians of Anvil, like sexually assaulting women and beating up guys that piss them off, and Jesse Custer won’t
have any of that, especially since he became the new sheriff of Anvil. So Jesse
spends most of his time in Anvil stopping Quincannon’s efforts to stop Jesse such as sending his
goons to beat up Jesse… calling the KKK to kill Jesse… planting explosives all
across the town to kill Jesse… yeah Odin has some problems. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Odin is just memorable for being an evil little man, but
still somewhat of a hilarious figure. What’s not to love about seeing a man
less than 5 feet tall getting struck by lightning while spouting rhetoric about
meat and money? But that in and of itself isn’t enough to get Odin on this
list. What pushes Odin above and beyond is honestly one of the most disturbing
pages I’ve ever seen in a comic book. I won’t spoil it for those that are
interested, but it’s a scene that makes Jesse say “If this isn’t a mercy
killin, then I don’t know what is.” Odin Quincannon is probably the least well
known villain on this list, but he certainly is one of the most depraved. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDDKvnUwaOWMUPfYZggiBNY4eDk4PoHdpUDtSCOhBQsrwt8sXfqiZm9p1AjXCEelZCyeT1ImPddUTpJu_6tGAUsHjzE_WUwR2hAus2vbNJ-UaLJnvlg7E0UW1I2_OllKzzFm-VjYdQ-YZR/s1600/Brainiac_%2528DC_Comics%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="354" data-original-width="251" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDDKvnUwaOWMUPfYZggiBNY4eDk4PoHdpUDtSCOhBQsrwt8sXfqiZm9p1AjXCEelZCyeT1ImPddUTpJu_6tGAUsHjzE_WUwR2hAus2vbNJ-UaLJnvlg7E0UW1I2_OllKzzFm-VjYdQ-YZR/s320/Brainiac_%2528DC_Comics%2529.png" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#12: Brainiac (DC Comics)<br /><ul>
<li>Intelligent super computer from Krypton</li>
<li>Arguably the smartest being in the DCU</li>
<li>Maybe is a God...?</li>
<li>Bottles cities in his spare time</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Brainiac is, on the surface, a pretty simple villain. He's a supercomputer from Krypton that gained sentience... except when he was just a scientist fascinated with bottling cities and planets... except when he was actually a being from outside the Multiverse that wanted to conduct a <i>Battle Royale </i>style of world elimination to see which world was the best.</div>
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See, Brainiac is difficult to explain his origins because it gets rewritten ever decade or so. Sometimes he's a robot, sometimes he's a scientist, sometimes he's a robot scientist, and sometimes he's a giant monster who controlled all of those other Brainiacs over several realities. So trying to explain who Brainiac is is pretty difficult. All you need to know is that he's a super intelligent villain that fights Superman and the Justice League and it usually takes a ton of effort just to overcome him. </div>
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While Brainiac is best known for bottling the Krpytonian city of Kandor and keeping it hostage for decades and fighting Superman in the story arc "New Krypton", the best story he's a part of is a maxi series called "Justice". In it, he manipulates several villains into believing that the world is going to end, so the villains come to together to solve humanity's problems to stave off the apocalypse. He has the villains make ideal societies that are directly controlled by Braniac and Lex Luthor while Brainiac plans on destroying Earth anyway because he can. He's a deeply manipulative villain in it and his plan very nearly succeeds. </div>
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But really, Braniac has a really cool design, and multiple designs at that. There's the classic scientist Braniac, robot Braniac, doctor Brainiac, overlord Brainiac, weird insectoid Brainiac, God Brainiac, there are just a plethora of awesome designs that scream creativity. I personally love his more humanoid appearance in the picture above, but please feel free to sound off what your favorite Brainiac designs are. He looks cool, he's intelligent, and has several good stories under his belt. He's a perfect villain for this list. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQiFnZ425NxNcIpvye2IzhJMHw0mHrF3UEiATdAQzJw6SUW3jmRJ1L6WLvmNrgg_Ei-dKwQfT6irUQ6JczUVAOmM0XsoICRvWIi0fOAAiGypWjwHvJ4G0YVHjB10SEC87nCDfKhPI4QIbN/s1600/Crisis_on_Infinite_Earths_012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="326" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQiFnZ425NxNcIpvye2IzhJMHw0mHrF3UEiATdAQzJw6SUW3jmRJ1L6WLvmNrgg_Ei-dKwQfT6irUQ6JczUVAOmM0XsoICRvWIi0fOAAiGypWjwHvJ4G0YVHjB10SEC87nCDfKhPI4QIbN/s320/Crisis_on_Infinite_Earths_012.jpg" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#11: The Anti-Monitor (DC Comics)<br /><ul>
<li>The embodiment of antimatter</li>
<li>Destroyed countless universes</li>
<li>Killed Supergirl</li>
<li>Created the Mobius Chair</li>
</ul>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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And the villain that just missed the Top 10 is none other
than the Anti-Monitor, a being from the Anti-Matter universe with the simple
goal of eradicating all life in the DCU. He’s massive, intelligent, and is so
strong it takes pretty much the entire DCU to kill him, and even then he didn’t
really die! The Anti-Monitor is so evil that it pretty much corrupts the fabric
of reality itself, and yet that is the biggest reason why he’s not on this
list. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The Anti-Monitor, for all intents and purposes, is just a
giant bad guy. He doesn’t have much of a personality besides being a big bad
monster. When you look at most villains that originated pre-Crisis (the event
that introduced the Anti-Monitor was “Crisis on Infinite Earths”), they usually
were very one dimensional and were evil because… because. And that was fine for
the Anti-Monitor because of how significant and importan “Crisis on Infinite
Earths” was. However, whenever he was used for any other story, his impact was
okay at best, insulting at worst. He was fine as a big bad in the “Sinestro
Corps War”, but when he became one of the main protagonists in “The Darkseid
War”, he really just devolved into a God that didn’t want to be a God and he
became evil because of the Anti-Life Equation, but he was still pretty evil the
whole time, and he just became a confusing mess. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The Anti-Monitor is the villain of “Crisis on Infinite
Earths”. He killed Supergirl. He destroyed several universes in the Multiverse.
At the end of the day, that’s all we remember him for, and it’s perfectly fine
for his high point to be that story. He doesn’t need to be any more complex
than that. He was the villain in one of the greatest comic book stories every
told, and that’s a good enough qualification to make this list… but not the Top
10. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And that;s the first half of this list! Tune in on Halloween for the Top 10 Villains. See you then!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-6559038737885383612017-10-22T07:46:00.000-07:002017-10-22T07:46:12.108-07:00The Top 20 Comic Book Villains: Introduction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIs3cPhL8UHeLxVWVlPVsMrfEnK0tIkLjVlnHgzKTp2E1D5_UEI62oY9wAZfPZkxdrxjppAasmRw4LNX2v-jigyYhAdt1Io1VhlldfL35kDi4XGltF9oAmgacC8S1LWXWoKZodSa2veZUR/s1600/GalleryComics_1900x900_20140903_FEVIL_Cv1_Pre-Sales_53d2d2d918a516.14274468.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="758" data-original-width="1600" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIs3cPhL8UHeLxVWVlPVsMrfEnK0tIkLjVlnHgzKTp2E1D5_UEI62oY9wAZfPZkxdrxjppAasmRw4LNX2v-jigyYhAdt1Io1VhlldfL35kDi4XGltF9oAmgacC8S1LWXWoKZodSa2veZUR/s640/GalleryComics_1900x900_20140903_FEVIL_Cv1_Pre-Sales_53d2d2d918a516.14274468.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Let's get into the spirit of the season, shall we?<br />
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<br />
If there's one thing that nearly everyone knows nowadays, it's about superheroes. With Hollywood pretty much being dominated by the MCU and DC trying to get into the game, slowly but surely, comic books are becoming the forefront of an entire medium. If your film isn't based on a comic book or inspired by a comic book, it can be pretty hard for it to gain any attention. And let's be perfectly honest with ourselves here, comic books are known for two things; their heroes, and their villains.<br />
<br />
The problem that I see with comic book movies is that while studios are totally nailing what it's like to make a superhero, they're all but failing at making memorable screen versions of bad guys. If you look at comic book movies in the last decade, think about how many of them have actually memorable villains. You have <i>The Dark Knight</i>, <i>The Avengers</i>, and arguably <i>Age of Ultron</i>. But for every Loki or Joker, we get a Ronan, General Ludendorff, or even disappointing villains like Ultron or the Mandarin. That shouldn't be the case. A hero can only be as good as their villain, and if comic books are known for one thing, it's making extremely compelling villains to fight against our heroes. And we're going to spotlight them for the rest of the month.<br />
<br />
As is tradition her at The Critical Order, I celebrate Halloween by setting aside every planned review to write about the villains that we remember. The bad guys that we love to hate and hate to love. And to be perfectly honest, this was the one list that I felt pretty concerned about writing, mostly because of the sheer scope of it. There are so many villains to choose from that it's a bit ridiculous. This isn't like a standard movie where you have one, maybe two villains for a hero to fight. Instead, there can be up to a dozen, sometimes even more, villains for one hero to fight. It's kind of insane to keep track of how many villains there are.<br />
<br />
However, I tried my damndest and cut these villains down to 20. As always, I'm grading my villains on a ranking system between five categories: Style, how distinct the villain's appearance is, Power, how strong the villain physically, Intelligence, how smart they are, Fear, how imposing their presence is, and Feats, how successful the villain actually is. Each villain can earn up to 10 points from each category and needed to have over 35 points to qualify for this list. Not only that, but I decided to put a few extra limitations this time because of how imposing this list is. I'm only judging a character's placement based on their actions in the actual books, not in their movies. The same goes for TV shows and video games. I can mention a few great games that the villain featured in, but that has nothing to do with how I placed them. It also goes without saying that a comic book villain NEEDS to have appeared in the comics. So TV or movie or game exclusive villains are out. Also, since it kind of goes without saying, but I'm only looking at American (or in one instance Canadian) comic books. Manga villains will get their justice next year with anime villains. These are the American (and Canadian) villain's time to shine! So as is always the case, here are just a few honorable mentions of the ones that were good, but not good enough.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgotgGDAqzfRwqgqEmSfvjMHuuwj5x0qIhJeGmwrA5jRp5HPnjgVzEi03JNX7OVFaQgeA_TwDFacIsReAv1LBJd91wx7suJU6jZf89rTwf3WibALlLzLoQPREBJCn_EOwSV8Oq7NZjhi94G/s1600/1692963-profile_twoface.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="648" data-original-width="488" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgotgGDAqzfRwqgqEmSfvjMHuuwj5x0qIhJeGmwrA5jRp5HPnjgVzEi03JNX7OVFaQgeA_TwDFacIsReAv1LBJd91wx7suJU6jZf89rTwf3WibALlLzLoQPREBJCn_EOwSV8Oq7NZjhi94G/s320/1692963-profile_twoface.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two Face from "Batman"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Two Face is a character that has a fantastic origin behind him, right up there with Mr. Freeze. Harvey Dent was Bruce Wayne's friend, but after getting into an accident that Batman couldn't prevent, he became Two Face and hunts down Batman as one of his more popular rogues. Two Face is a constant reminder of Batman's failure to save everyone. He let one of his closest friends become one of his worst enemies, and it kills him every time he has to fight Two Face because all Bruce wants to do is save him.<br />
<br />
Brilliant concept aside, what kept Two Face off of the list is really that he doesn't have too many classic stories. You can look at the Joker, Catwoman, Scarecrow, and Mr. Freeze and find some fantastic stories relating around them, but there are really only a handful of Two Face stories that the average comic book fan remembers, and even then, there are still plenty of stories featuring him that are... subpar at best. Remember in the New 52 when he decided to dub himself One Face? Still, he's a solid Batman villain that would rank on this list if more people actually decided to write about him.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4aYajQRBG2zAuinmLUMtl7Xil-G3uOWQkCgKocJAsumOj-lsq_E33llBOOS3k40mSraKcF1Wqa_lcnCsDmlA-T37Opo3mzIks2Y2wKQkZcYb9t2x9fO508O_b_Jdk85IkFLdt3tLP17tp/s1600/Superman_Prime_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1041" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4aYajQRBG2zAuinmLUMtl7Xil-G3uOWQkCgKocJAsumOj-lsq_E33llBOOS3k40mSraKcF1Wqa_lcnCsDmlA-T37Opo3mzIks2Y2wKQkZcYb9t2x9fO508O_b_Jdk85IkFLdt3tLP17tp/s320/Superman_Prime_001.jpg" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Superboy Prime (or is it Superman Prime?) from "Infinite Crisis"</td></tr>
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Name confusion aside, Superboy Prime is easily one of the most hated villains in all of the DCU. He's responsible for genocide, murdering a plethora of Green Lanterns, and for being a psychotic brat that screams how everything was better on his Earth and how every other Earth deserves to die because it's not his Earth. He's grating, but there's no denying the fact that he's at least a good villain based on how much everyone hates him.<br />
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He's actually been a pretty prominent villain too, appearing in "Infinite Crisis" and "The Sinestro Core War" and being a major villain in both stories. That being said, he was also one of the main villains in "Countdown", a 52 issue series that ruined several characters and is regarded as being one of the worst series of the past decade. And his writing is just insufferable to the point where he just acts like a bully. I know that his hateability is what made him so good in other stories, but at least he had humanity to him. In "Countdown" he was just unpleasant to read about, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was regarded as being one of the big reasons why so many people hated that story. Hatred aside, he was at least good for a short time.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Violater from "Spawn"</td></tr>
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Here's a villain that I can get behind! An archdemon from Hell that ranks as one of the strongest beings there that aims to sew chaos on Earth and just cause general mayhem for Spawn? What's not to love?<div>
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While he does have a great design as The Clown, where he's a fat overweight man, his actual demon form is... okay? It doesn't really strike fear into the hearts of men, and while his powers are impressive with super strength, regeneration, and teleportation among others, he's down here mostly because he's a bit too complicated. And I don't mean that his motivations are hard to understand, but I mean that there is so much history with this guy that I don't fully understand it all. I'm not an avid "Spawn" reader, so I only know the bits of pieces of the overarching story, but the Violator plays a big part in it and even though I don't understand it all, I had to give him some mention on here for all of the "Spawn" lovers out there. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Batman Who Laughs from "Batman"</td></tr>
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Behold, the most recent villain to appear on this list! The Batman Who Laughs is a version of Batman from the Dark Multiverse, a multiverse of worlds that were deemed to be failures, who has become the Joker of his world as well. He works for an Elder God named Barbatos, who enters the main DC Universe in order to conquer it with a squad of evil Batmen led by The Batman Who Laughs. He's malicious, intelligent, ruthless, and sews seeds of destruction wherever he goes. The killer though? He has a herd of Robins on chain leashes that attack anyone he says while they scream "CROW!" at people, but will only stop when The Batman Who Laughs says "Bar". How is that not terrifying and awesome at the same time!</div>
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Well as much as I love him and the story that he's in "Dark Nights: Metal", he's a bit too recent to actually place on the list. First off, his origin hasn't even been introduced yet, and with only the third issue out of six being released, there's still plenty of time for him to fissile out. I'm just not comfortable putting him on after only being introduced to him for a little under two months. But man, what a first impression it's been. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Harley Quinn from "Batman"</td></tr>
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Look, it isn't that I don't like Harley Quinn because of how popular she is, or because she has a bad costume, or because of any other stupid reason like that. No, the reason why Harley Quinn isn't on this list is just because as a villain, she's hit or miss. </div>
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In her early days she was a fantastic sidekick! When have you ever heard of an character from an animated show becoming so popular that they become integrated completely into comic continuity. Hell, it took Batman Beyond 15 years in order to appear in a in continuity story! But over time, Harley Quinn has become less of a villain and more of an antihero. And that's not too bad since she's still a pleasant character to read, but this is a list of villains. She's occasionally allies herself with Batman, Nightwing, and the Suicide Squad, which is pretty much the literal definition for a group of antiheroes!</div>
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Now to be completely fair to her, "Mad Love" is a great comic, and I love to read about Harley's misadventures with Poison Ivy. And I love her various one-shots that let artists just have fun with telling funny stories with her. But a villain? Can anyone legitimately say that Harley Quinn is a villain anymore? Like, can anyone say the last time she worked with a villain to beat Batman? I can't remember any story in the past 5 years outside of the <i>Arkham </i>games. Good character? Yes. Over exposed? Potentially. Villain? I don't think so. </div>
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And there we have the honorable mentions of comic book villainy! I'll see you all next Sunday for 20-11!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-63500292796343440722017-10-16T15:42:00.001-07:002017-10-16T15:42:44.758-07:00Schedule UpdateDue to the length of <i>The My Little Pony Movie </i>review and how close it came out to Sunday, I elected to delay the One Piece: Unlimited Retrospective entry to sometime later this year. It'll come out most likely on a Thursday, but with the rush for my Top 20 Comic Book Villains List, I'd rather focus on getting that list right than half-assing two massive projects. So I'll see you all Sunday for the Introduction!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-65593415279804602812017-10-14T09:42:00.000-07:002017-10-14T09:42:10.122-07:00The My Little Pony Movie: 4 Year Anniversary Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This has been a long time coming.</div>
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October 4th, 2013. I was driving back from seeing a movie with a friend of mine. We went to go see <i>Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2</i>, and on the way back she suggested that I should make a site and become an online critic. I thought it was a pretty good idea, so I tried it out. I'm not all that proud of my earlier reviews, trying to catch onto fads and write in a way that was cliched and a bit too childish, but now 4 years later, I have my own style, my own little corner on the internet, and my own way of doings things. And it's all thanks to you, the fans.<br />
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2017 has been a monumental year for me as a critic. I've had more hits this year alone that I have in the past 3 years combined. Readership has skyrocketed, and I remember days when I was happy to get 20 views on a review. Now I pass that number in less than a half hour. But I wouldn't be happy with what I've been doing if it wasn't for you all coming here to get my honest opinions on movies and games. Oh sure, I don't claim to be 100% right, who the hell is, but I always tell it like it is, and whether or not you agree or disagree with me, it is entirely in your right. A new highlight for me was hearing from a reader that I was their defacto person they went to for movie reviews, and I was honest to God humbled by it. From a simple review 4 years ago to now, and that has been one of my favorite moments in this site's history. So, even though I say this plenty of times, and I mean it with all of my heart each of those times, thank you. Thank you for reading and thank you for stay with the site for so long.<br />
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... And now we begin another tradition that go through every year. The annual flogging of the <i>My Little Pony </i>series. I've explained my history with the franchise a couple of times, I never watched it growing up, but watched the first two seasons for a friend and found it to be passable and harmless, but every year I take pleasure in just reviewing an entry in the series, specifically the <i>Equestria Girls </i>franchise, for both the amusement of my readers and because I will be the first to beat a running joke into the ground. Maybe it's because I'm getting older, and maybe it's because the <i>My Little Pony </i>franchise isn't as popular or relevant on the internet as it once was, but I just don't really have the spark to review <i>My Little Pony </i>movies anymore. It's past the point of me reviewing something because it's a joke, but now it's become me reviewing something that just isn't funny or worth anyone's time. Who cares about a straight to Netflix spinoff movie of a kid's show?<br />
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But then I heard about <i>The My Little Pony Movie </i>and it's release date of October 6th, and I knew it was too good to be true. The series was back in the mainstream again, and I could have a last hurrah of reviewing the series and letting my fans watch my suffering. I do this for you all, cause I like y'all. And so I went in (with a female friend of course) to go and watch <i>The My Little Pony Movie</i>, ready to suffer. I prepared myself for it.<br />
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I should have prepared more. Happy 4 year anniversary to me.<br />
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Our story revolves around our hero, Twilight Sparkle, preparing for the Friendship Festival. What is the Friendship Festival? No one explains, so just move on. However, while preparations are underway, Equestria is invaded by a legion of blimps controlled by the Storm King, who wants to take over Equestria because ponies. He has a unicorn under his service named Tempest who proceeds to wreck everyone, leading Twilight Sparkle and her friends to go on an adventure beyond Equestria to figure out how to stop the Storm King, all while Twilight is being hunted because her magic will let the Storm King take over the world.<br />
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So for a big screen debut of a massively popular franchise, can I just ask a simple question? Why did it take 7 years for a feature length movie to be made about <i>My Little Pony</i>? I mean, think about it. Back when mainstream media outlets were talking about Bronies, it would have been perfect for the creators of the show to capitalize on this new phenomenon by announcing a movie! They would have made millions upon millions, but instead we have a movie that honestly very few people have seen. And I'm not saying that it's bad that not anyone saw this, because believe me, this movie deserves to bomb, but it could have at least made more many if the people behind it made a couple of smart decisions.<br />
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But anyway, onto the actual quality of the movie. So I'm someone that hasn't watched the show in years. I don't know a lot of the show's continuity or where this movie takes place in the series, but honestly, none of that stuff really matters to me. I don't care if there are continuity errors here because how the hell would I know as a casual fan? Why wasn't the Storm King defeated by an of the various allies that the ponies made over the years? Because we needed to have a movie, that's why, so things like that don't bother me.<br />
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What actually does bother me is just the bland and lifeless feel to the entire movie. I know that this is a movie from a multi media franchise, but why do I feel more manipulated than when I saw <i>The Emoji Movie</i>? Yeah, that movie was horrendous and had some of the worst moments in any kids movie, but I didn't feel like it was forcing me to buy new toys. Here we have new pirate friends, sea horses, and our heroes becoming sea horses themselves, and all I could think of was how much they're being sold for at stores.<br />
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And yeah I know, the entire point of the franchise is to sell toys to little girls (and older men for some reason), but there are a ton of franchises that aren't that obvious. I know that Disney is going to sell a metric boatload of <i>Moana </i>merchandise, but I didn't see <i>Moana </i>as a means to deliver new toys, I saw it as a movie that could stand on its own.<br />
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Sorry, I'm actually going to stay on track this time. So the best way for me to tackle this movie is just to go through it piece by piece, beginning to end. I'm going to spoil the entirety to this movie, so if you have interest in seeing it, stop reading this now. I'm going into full dissection mode, so brace yourself.<br />
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So after the beginning where Tempest owns everyone and the introduction of the Sia Pony (more on her later), Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Apple Jack all decide to find the Queen of the Hippos (It's actually Hypogryphs, but kid's movie equals kid's jokes LOL). They start on their journey relatively easily, but just as they decide to go on their adventure, we cut back to Tempest talking to the Storm King. Every single time a major moment happens, we usually cut back to Tempest and her lackeys just following two steps behind our group doing... not much really.<br />
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Oh, and the Storm King is like Hades, only without the charm, humor, personality, charisma, likability, and comes across more like if your 50 year old dad was trying to read as a villain in a kid's storybook. So our heroes eventually make it to a town that's a dead ringer for Mos Eisley, where they encounter Han Solo I mean a talking, smooth talking cat with gambling debts. And of course, he sings about the new town their in.<br />
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On a side note, Jesus Christ the music in this movie is just terrible. There are about 8 or so songs in this movie, and nearly all of them are just the worst. Would you like to hear about how being friends is super important? Or how would you like to listen to a song about wanting to be awesome? I kid you not, these are the kinds of songs we're dealing with here, and what kills me is that nearly every single song in this movie is about 2 minutes long, yet each song solves every single problem the characters face. Are the ponies going to be shoved off an airship? Sing about it! Is a race of extremely reclusive creatures refusing to help you out? Sing about it!<br />
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The only song in the movie that's even remotely good is the song sung by the Sia Pony, and that's only there because Sia needed a paycheck. Yeah the song in question "Rainbow" is actually a pretty good song, but it's incredibly distracting to see a pony with Sia's hair singing with a troupe of Sia back dancing ponies around her. So I guess that's a backhanded way of saying that the song was good, but really bizarrely fit into the movie.<br />
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So Han Solo cat tries to sell the ponies into slavery to clear up gambling debts (no really, he literally tries to sell them to a dude with a cage), but Tempest shows up and in the confusion the ponies escape onto an airship. Tempest questions Han Solo cats where they went, but because Rarity sewed a button on his jacket, he refuses to tell her and lies to Tempest about their goal. With the ponies on the airship, they meet a group of pirates who now work as delivery men, but through a song and some morale boost, they're back to their pirating ways! Only to then be attacked by Tempest and having their prized shipped destroyed and sank to the bottom of the sea.<br />
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Oops.<br />
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It doesn't matter to the ponies though, since they finally reached the land of the Hypogryphs, except the city is empty. It turns out that they all fled to the sea when the Storm King attacked them, voluntarily turning themselves into seahorses. The ponies talk to the sea horses after becoming sea horses themselves because MERCHANDISE YOU DUMBASS, but the Queen says that she's not going to help them. So the ponies decide to sing a song to convince her, which works because of course it does, but Twilight tries to steal the orb that turns ponies into sea horses, hoping to turn everyone in Equestria into seahorses to save them. The Queen banishes them, all oft he friends fight because of course they do, Twilight admits that they were a distraction, and Twilight finally gets kidnapped by Tempest to drain her of her magical power.<br />
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It's at this point Twilight asks what Tempest's deal was for becoming evil and working with a childish dictator even though she's a pony herself. And you wanna know what the reason is? She was mauled by a bear as a kid, had her horn broken, and because everyone thought she was a freak, she was ostracized and became eeeeeeeeeeeeviiiiiiiiiiiiiil. Of course all of this is told through a song and some of the worst animation I've seen in years. I mean, it makes <i>Food Fight </i>look fluid in comparison.<br />
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So our ponies are down and out, but Han Solo cat, the pirates, and the Seahorse Princess all come together, stage a siege on the Storm King, beat him, and everyone has a huge party with the Sia Pony providing background music. Also, Tempest becomes good because it's a kid's movie and she redeemed herself by saving Twilight.<br />
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So by just going through the plot, it's pretty obvious to me that the story goes through nearly every beat a kids movie should go through. There are no twists or turns, <i>The My Little Pony Movie </i>does everything you would expect it to. And for a series that's mostly aimed at little kids, it would be perfectly fine. As a toddler's first movie, there's nothing inherently wrong with it, but that would ruin the nature of the franchise.<br />
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You can still have a series intended for little kids, but still make it engaging for all audiences to watch. <i>Steven Universe </i>is a prime example of this, being aimed at young kids, but nearly everyone can enjoy. <i>My Little Pony </i>is the same way. The thing has an adult fan base for a reason, but this movie seems to ditch that entirely for hackneyed jokes and lines. It's like the spark that the series had left in exchange for better animation.<br />
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On that note, the animation is fairly solid, and it's nice that it's 2D and I would even say looked good at certain moments, like during Tempest's song where she got mauled by a bear as a small child.<br />
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I'm sorry, I just love that visual.<br />
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But you can have the most gorgeous animation in the world and still be a bad movie if there's no substance, and there's nothing here at all. Things happen because they need to happen. Conflicts are resolved through songs, and nothing has any weight to it. Why should I care that the ponies are about to be attacked by pirates if not even three minutes ago they just escaped being sold into slavery, and that was after they escaped from the Storm King five minutes ago?<br />
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I would say that there was an overarching problem that defined this movie, but in reality, there isn't. There isn't one singular reason why <i>The My Little Pony Movie </i>doesn't work. It just is. Nothing more, nothing less. I would say that it's just an extended episode of the TV series, but from what I remember the series was better than this. If I was a fan, I would be pretty pissed that this is what we got as a big screen debut for some of our favorite characters. A movie that has no soul, no personality, and yet pretends to be positive entertainment.<br />
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Yes, it doesn't send bad messages to anyone, but I can't think of a more insidious idea than to make a watered down version of something that people love just as a tool for merchandise. <i>The Transformers Movie </i>is beloved for having put actual effort into its production, and the same can be said for the 90's <i>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles </i>movies and even <i>The Lego Movie</i>. They had effort and heart. <i>The My Little Pony Movie </i>does not.<br />
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You know, I was wondering what I was going to feel like after I saw this movie. After I left the movie with my friend (side note, we both hung our heads in shame when we handed the tickets to the ticket checker), we tried to figure out how we felt about the movie. Honestly, I was just tired. I was tired that I had to review another <i>My Little Pony </i>movie that just reeked of being a cash grab. There was no identity or personality behind this movie. Hell, even the Michael Bay <i>Transformers</i> movies have something going on at a subtextual level and don't feel like a cash grab. There was nothing here to analyze, nothing to learn, nothing to really gain from seeing this movie. It made me feel exhausted.<br />
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So no, <i>The My Little Pony Movie </i>isn't the worst thing ever made. It's not even the worst movie that came out this year, and it certainly isn't the worst thing that the franchise has ever churned out. But without a doubt in my mind, <i>The My Little Pony Movie </i>is one of the most bland and forgettable movies I have ever seen. I can't really say that one is worse than the other, but I can say this; your child deserves better. Fans of the series deserve better.<br />
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I don't write negative reviews because I love to hate on things. Critics don't exist to point out flaws and prove that we're smarter than people and we're more cultured, or refined, or some other crap like that. I write reviews because I just love to share ideas. I write reviews because I want people to talk, and even if it's about how wrong I am about certain things, then I've done my job. I'm so critical of movies because we deserve better. We deserve to be satisfied when we watch a movie and when we want to expose our children, our friends, or our families to something that we enjoy because we can see something we relate to in it, or because it has a great performance in it, or because it just looks cool. <i>The My Little Pony Movie </i>doesn't have any of the joy I feel about movies, and a joyless movie is just not a good sit.<br />
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Happy 4 years, and here's to another 4 years.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-50724195710288442682017-10-08T09:33:00.001-07:002017-12-31T12:05:09.758-08:00Danganronpa V3 Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Sorry, the 4 Year Anniversary Special has been postponed to Friday due to unforeseen circumstances. Until then, how's about some <i>Danganronpa</i>?<br />
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<br />
It's weird to think that over the course of 4 years, there was one franchise that stayed with the site from its inception to today. <i>Danganronpa </i>first hit the states in February of 2014 and I eventually played it during that summer and immensely enjoyed it. Then it played the sequel a few months later. Then I had the spinoff game, <i>Ultra Despair Girls, </i>shipped to my University in the UK. Then I streamed all of <i>Danganronpa 3</i> the day each episode aired. To say I'm a fan of the series is a huge understatement, but the reason why each I love the series so much is because the story of each game and anime is so captivating.<br />
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The premise is... not quite simple, but it's still easy enough to understand. 16 students that excel in a particular skill, making them an "Ultimate", are imprisoned in an academy by Monokuma, a robotic bear that orchestrates the Killing Game. In the Killing Game, the students have to murder each other, but after each murder, the students hold a class trial to figure out who the murderer is. If they're right, then the murderer dies. If they're wrong, then everyone else dies and the murderer can leave the school. By the end of the game, we grow attached to all of the characters, twists and turns are everywhere, all building up to the revelation of who was pulling the strings for each game. It's incredibly compelling stuff to say the least.<br />
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So since my review of <i>The My Little Pony Movie</i> has been delayed (and believe me, I'm going to have a ton of fun with that one), I felt that it would be a bit cheap to not post anything on my intended release day. I know this isn't what everyone was hoping for, but then I had a thought. Yes, it's nice to talk about a franchise that I don't like and everyone revels in me suffering because of it, but I also wanted to talk about something that I hold dear. Something that I wanted to talk about because it's important to me, and is just a good game. And so, here's <i>Danganronpa V3</i>.<br />
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And now, please join me for a spoiler free dissection of just what the hell happened here.<br />
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So the premise above is still the same here. 16 students are trapped in a school run by Monokuma, now joined by his 5 kids the Monokubs, and everyone is trying to find a way to escape. More so than any other game in the series, this game loves to screw with your expectations and understanding of each trial and the overall plot. The central theme of this game is exploring the power of lies and the power of the truth, and it does so exceptionally well. By the end of the game, you'll be wondering what is true and what actually happened.<br />
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Also, I'm just going to take this moment to say that the ending of <i>Danganronpa V3</i> is a Goliath of an ending. Oh sure, you could have ideas about what's happening, but none of it will really click until the very end of the game, and even then you won't believe what just happened. I still don't believe it, and I just finished the game! But that being said, this ending is controversial, and by controversial, I mean it could ruin the entire franchise for you. Not just the game, but the whole series. Everything changes because of this ending, even previous games will no longer be the same once you finish <i>V3</i>. Without looking anything up online (and if you do you will ruin the entire game for yourself), Japanese players HATED the ending for just how radical it is, and Japanese players are usually all for interesting ideas like the ones here.<br />
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Now I'm not going to spoil it, because I'm not a monster like that, and I'm not even going to spoil any of the game via my screenshots, but I can say this about the ending; it's the perfect exploration between truth and lies. I loved how it dealt with that topic, and the reveal of the mastermind was brilliant, but if there was one thing wrong with the reveal, like most of this game, it's that it drags. It draaaaaaaaaaags.<br />
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I'm all for visual novels taking a lot of time to explain certain situations and characters, but <i>V3</i> felt like a lot of its time was spent with tangents that took much longer than they needed to. This isn't that big of a problem in the beginning of the game, but after the halfway point things start to slow down immensely. Now that is when we get the best story bits, but the time it takes to get to each juicy new reveal is frustrating to say the least.<br />
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Thankfully we get at least a well rounded cast of characters that you're bound to like. Every <i>Danganronpa </i>game is known for having a solid cast of characters, and <i>V3 </i>is no exception. My personal favorite characters are Kokichi, the Ultimate Supreme Leader that embodies what a lie is, Gonta Gokuhara, the Ultimate Entomologist that aspires to be a true gentleman, Miu Iruma, the foul mouthed Ultimate Inventor that flaunts her body wherever she goes, and Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Magician that has a fantastic character arc over the course of the game. Those are just my favorite characters, but you can get to know a whole array of characters over the 40 hour journey that you may love or hate.<br />
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Like every other game in the series, <i>V3</i>'s gameplay is broken up into two sections; Free Time and Class Trials. In Free Time, you can go to students to befriend them, spend time with them, buy random items in a shop, search the school for Hidden Monokumas, or play some casino games to get special items. These are all just little elements to kill time, but there's no denying how fun it is to go and spend time with whoever you want and get to know them. It's a simple touch, but it's a nice one.<br />
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Once the Class Trials begin though, it's a whole other story. After conducting a little investigation to gather evidence, you're thrust into a trial to discover who killed who. The trials are the same as always, you choose evidence, look for holes in a person's argument to exploit them or to agree with them, and figure out whodunit. There are a couple of new additions though that slightly change things up, some for the better, some not so much.<br />
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During the trials, you could be forced to do one of several minigames, but usually they're all pretty ho-hum. They're usually to answer questions that you could figure out based on the current circumstances, but the game decided to drag them out because they can. You might have to excavate for a special object, drive a taxi to answer questions, refute arguments with a rhythm game, or play a game of minesweeper to really annoy you. They're all lame diversions that just serve to spice up the trials, which is fine I guess, but I never found any of the minigames in the first two games that annoying, so why now?<br />
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The trials are at their best during Debate sections, and for good reason. During it, you use the evidence to dispel arguments, but there are a bunch of new twists to it. You have Nonstop Debates, which are debates where everyone talks at once and you have to figure out where the discrepancy is, you have Scrum Debates where you have to match multiple arguments to each other, and then you have my new favorite mechanic; Perjury. Perjury is taking a piece of evidence and turning it into a lie. You can then steer the trial into a new direction in order to get the truth out of people.<br />
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At first, I didn't like the ability to lie. Lying just seemed so counter productive in class trials where the entire point was trying to find out the truth. The more I tried it though, the more interesting and compelling it got. It was super satisfying knowing exactly when to lie in order to contradict information and just everyone talking about a new train of thought. What's even better is that in every trial, there are multiple hidden "back routes", which are routes you can lie at to completely change the discussion in a way that'snot obvious. Every trial has one mandatory lie, and they're pretty obvious to find, but finding the back routes are super satisfying and I want to discover them all.<br />
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There's also a metric ton of end game content, like the obligatory dating mode, but now there are two new modes; an RPG and a board game. I haven't really tried out the latter two for to long, but they're both harmless and fun little diversions. In both modes, you can even play as characters from the previous entries in the series, so you can have a party in the RPG of your favorite characters as they kill Monokuma monsters.<br />
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I tried so hard to take my time with this game, I really did. I din't want to blaze through <i>Danganronpa V3</i> and finish it in a week, but that's exactly what happened again. I just got too engrossed with the world, the story, and the characters to not finish it as fast as I could. Hell, after playing <i>V3</i>, I kind of want to go back and play every other game in the series again just because I can.<br />
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And guess what? If you want to play it, you don't have to have a Vita anymore! I mean I still play all of the <i>Danganronpa </i>games on my Vita, but now you can play them on your PS4 and on Steam, so there's no excuse not to at least try the first game. And once you play that, every game afterwards just gets better and better. I'd hesitate to say that <i>Danganronpa V3</i> is the best in the series, since the overall structure, characters, and setting of <i>Danganronpa 2</i> were so good, but <i>V3 </i>is still one of the best sequels, one of the best Visual Novels, and one of the best Vita games ever released.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-47631917702719977262017-10-02T20:39:00.000-07:002017-12-31T11:53:26.484-08:00Summer Anime 2017 Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Nothing witty for me to say, just read that caption. Also, sorry for the delay.<br />
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<br />
Well, summer has finally left us again, and can I just say that as of now, 2017 was a pretty underwhelming year for anime? I mean, I know that we still have one more season to go, but the first half of the year was not especially great for streaming anime. A deluge of titles that were mostly garbage, Netflix botching its distribution of titles, and just a general lack of anything truly exciting. I haven't been excited to watch anything for the past couple of months not because there wasn't anything good, but most of the titles were simply generic and safe, and the huge risks turned into colossal disasters that couldn't be ignored.<br />
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And that's kind of true for the summer as well. There were some great titles hidden away, but the great shows mostly played it safe. My mind wasn't redefined by any anime this year, and there haven't even been titles that I would watch just because they were comforting and pleasant. Most of the good titles I've talked about have been good, but nothing beyond that.<br />
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I suppose you can say that it's better to aim for being good rather than being redefining and that there's nothing wrong with doing a solid job, but at the same time, some of the greatest anime we're simply good because the creators thought good enough was passable. Heart and soul got poured into the classic anime that we love, but I don't feel any heart and soul from a bunch of these titles. I just see titles that exist because they exist. Sorry if that's a bit nihilistic, but you all have no idea how close I was to just not follow any titles this summer because of how underwhelming the Spring was and how little the summer appealed to me.<br />
<br />
And yet here we are, with 5 titles I've seen that I'm glad I watched for one reason or another, but I'm not really attached to any of them, with maybe an exception or two here and there. So with that being said, let's dive into my apathetic look at the Summer Anime of 2017.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikhW_sHZRo0v_tUk9Ot0huKUneMhOpS97QezOW-S97lXZa2U9Ort3vPWHemaVUF1_yBMpDCIzsLlrR9nCEcBQMST029VmNeCaDH2JDya_EGD3CJDLZ8H80YeHn0sdRXXlkETMUMhYgd2V1/s1600/86828.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="318" data-original-width="225" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikhW_sHZRo0v_tUk9Ot0huKUneMhOpS97QezOW-S97lXZa2U9Ort3vPWHemaVUF1_yBMpDCIzsLlrR9nCEcBQMST029VmNeCaDH2JDya_EGD3CJDLZ8H80YeHn0sdRXXlkETMUMhYgd2V1/s320/86828.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Gamers!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So <i>Gamers! </i>was a bit of an interesting title for me to watch. It's a comedy about a bunch of people that have bonded over video games, and all of the crazy love triangles that come from it. Then love squares. And then love hexagons. And then everything just goes crazy and the comedy can genuinely work when the characters are lost in their own thoughts.<br />
<br />
For those of you wondering how much video games factor into the anime, the answer is very little. Sure they go to an arcade every now and then, there's a subplot about a mobile phone game, and for some bizarre reason there's a dedicated sequence in the second episode where two characters play <i>Persona 4 Arena </i>(seriously, that was whiplash inducing), but the games aren't really the focus of the show. It's about high school romance with video game fans as the backdrop.<br />
<br />
And it's perfectly fine for what it is. The show doesn't raise the bar on comedy, but it's good at doing its job well. It's nice to see a slice-of-life that has expressive characters do expressive things with some great comedic moments sprinkled in, but at the end of the day it's pretty forgettable as an experience. I don't remember any of these characters or what their personalities are like. I know damned well what they think of everyone else, but not-so-much who they are as people. And I think that's a pretty big failing for a teenage comedy.<br />
<br />
<i>Gamers! </i>is a fine show with some great moment throughout, but after I finished the last episode, which was pretty underwhelming at that, nothing stuck with me. The only thing that stuck with me was a mid series twist that changed the entire status quo, which was refreshing to see if only because the characters could do new things and act in new situations, but the characters were both the show's biggest strength and its biggest weakness. I don't know how you do that, but I'm still glad that I watched it and can easily recommend it as a decent comedy to watch.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioad1z81_mjqeoGYlo-MPOygBlWBArYXS65z6R0ToRIh3JRillpSD8r5be624xCAtVfMoYTmh8geK4WKYRIWWV9XQ78kMPuHKtQPGYP9tXwl1LTqCeRl6zo3pwbflpPtVYLicuaV1wZYiJ/s1600/86578.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="324" data-original-width="225" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioad1z81_mjqeoGYlo-MPOygBlWBArYXS65z6R0ToRIh3JRillpSD8r5be624xCAtVfMoYTmh8geK4WKYRIWWV9XQ78kMPuHKtQPGYP9tXwl1LTqCeRl6zo3pwbflpPtVYLicuaV1wZYiJ/s320/86578.jpg" width="222" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Kakegurui</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Sometimes, a man just wants to be entertained. Sometimes, a show can pull a complete 180 with what you expect to get from it. <i>Kakegurui </i>was supposed to be an anime that I thought was going to be a smart drama about manipulating people and trying to see smart people outsmart each other by how smart they are. And we kinda get that in the anime, but instead of it being a psychological drama, we get an adrenaline thriller full of crazy faces, high stake bets, and even crazier people with their own unique, sociopathic ways.<br />
<br />
<i>Kakegurui </i>is about Yumeko, a girl who transfers to an academy where only one thing matters; gambling. The more money you have, the more power you have in the academy. Instead, Yumeko doesn't want to get rich or gain power in the school. She just wants to gamble, and she'll destroy anyone that she gambles against all just to get that next great thrill. And by thrill, I mean nearly orgasming at the thought of winning it big or losing it all.<br />
<br />
If there's one word to describe <i>Kakegurui</i>, it's bonkers. This is a show that keeps on ramping up the intensity with every episode until you're on the edge of your seat watching gambling antics occur, then instantly shirking in your seat when you see an intensely ugly, crazy face pop up on screen. Just look up "Kakegurui faces" on Google and see what happens. I wish I could say that <i>Kakegurui </i>has a bit more meat besides crazy faces and high stakes thrills, and there are some subtextual elements about addiction and gambling, but really, the show is fairly shallow all things considered. And that's perfectly fine.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I'm not looking for high art. I thought I would get that with the first episode here, but after that I readjusted myself for a crazy 12 episode ride, and I wasn't disappointed (well excluding the finale). This is probably on par with <i>Kill la Kill </i>stylistically. Yes, it does have something to say, and maybe it can be a bit sloppy at times, but the show is still immensely satisfying because of it. Crazy faces, crazy games, memorable characters, and one hell of a protagonist make this a show you definitely need to watch.<br />
<br />
...Oh wait, it's a show that's going to air on Netflix. Well, watch it in a couple months when Netflix actually decides to stream the damn show!<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF0wMFh_jT48yHrRHY6cosV_ylMeuXlmBrgFFHCOLdEtGKiwttg6linOf5_elUWwSD_UkA-dl4Pqr78U89eTUB41BBxzdCPkJTm_jqC0vlgSuUGjDIQvP4JXCDPDHHZtv9q_kdV7Z8Eirt/s1600/6db82c0db5d211e9d8f3cc404be369661490436489_full.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="781" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF0wMFh_jT48yHrRHY6cosV_ylMeuXlmBrgFFHCOLdEtGKiwttg6linOf5_elUWwSD_UkA-dl4Pqr78U89eTUB41BBxzdCPkJTm_jqC0vlgSuUGjDIQvP4JXCDPDHHZtv9q_kdV7Z8Eirt/s320/6db82c0db5d211e9d8f3cc404be369661490436489_full.jpg" width="262" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Little Witch Academia</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Oh look, the second cour of <i>Little Witch Academia </i>actually dropped in time for me to talk about it! How nice and benevolent of you Netflix!<br />
<br />
So most of the plot is still the same as the first half of the show, with one major exception. While the first half of the show focused on Akko becoming a witch and learning about different spells, we now get a storyline for her with the appearance of a new witch at Luna Nova; Professor Croix. Croix is a witch that uses machines to accomplish her magic, but she may or may not be on the up and up. Plus she has a history with Professor Ursula, making a fairly interesting storyline between the two of them.<br />
<br />
So I'll get this out of the way right now. I did enjoy the second half of <i>Little Witch Academia </i>more, but it had a lot more problems then the first half. The strengths of the first half were in the characters that Akko explored with. Sucy, Lotte, Diana, and Ursula were all very fun and I loved the miniadventures and the characters they met up with. With a few exceptions, the second half of the show focuses solely on Akko, Croix, and Ursula. I think there are only three one off adventures, and even then Lucy and Lotte are relegated to cheerleaders for most of the show. But what we lose with the students, we gain with the professors. Ursula and Croix are very compelling, especially in their history with each other and a major revelation about Chariot that took me by surprise. I was genuinely shocked at what the show pulled by the end of its run and I couldn't believe what I saw.<br />
<br />
Croix, as an antagonist, is kind of underwhelming, but she's a very human antagonist. She's deeply flawed and is selfish, but she still cares about Ursula and Akko at the end of the day. Croix is very intent on reviving magic so to speak, and because of that we get a huge can of exposition opened up about the world. We get the secret history of magic, the powers of magic, and how to unlock the secrets of all magic. Plus we get an action packed finale that reminds me a lot of, again, <i>Kill la Kill</i>. That makes sense because Trigger made both titles, but like that show, there's a ton of heart here that can easily be seen just by watching a single episode.<br />
<br />
I wish we had more time spent with the characters I grew to like from the first half of the show, but the second half was still pretty damned strong and excelled by the sharper focus on Akko, Ursula, and Croix. It's the exact opposite of the first half, but both are still excellent to watch, dub or sub.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCxfeRbhpDlQQ_qHRu7KS3xVPGF63Gk_BSgjkmsYwUaWRA0w10gW4XFRbua5anBsP3hvvHl28Xvi9LH_kLvYsJHst9cl1kUm6z63vND96EalEST-lwB1BplWgmVbwera2Uk0Va2cTdwHj1/s1600/dacbe811980143c3f2c5aae47c13d1ae1490516782_full.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCxfeRbhpDlQQ_qHRu7KS3xVPGF63Gk_BSgjkmsYwUaWRA0w10gW4XFRbua5anBsP3hvvHl28Xvi9LH_kLvYsJHst9cl1kUm6z63vND96EalEST-lwB1BplWgmVbwera2Uk0Va2cTdwHj1/s320/dacbe811980143c3f2c5aae47c13d1ae1490516782_full.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Made in Abyss</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Have you ever wanted to see a kid friendly <i>Dark Souls</i>? I know that seems like a weird analogy, but that's the only way that I can describe <i>Made in Abyss</i>. It's a dark, beautiful little adventure that goes above and beyond all expectations, and I'm glad I watched it.<br />
<br />
In the city of Orth, there is a massive pit that goes so far down that no one has ever reached the bottom. That is called the Abyss, and the city of Orth thrives on the Abyss by sending Cave Raiders to find relics, food, and other objects to survive everyday life. One cave raider in training, Riko, while going through the first layer of the Abyss, finds a robot boy named Reg, who doesn't know where he came from. Shortly after Riko meets Reg, Riko is given letters from her deceased mother to meet her at the bottom of the Abyss. Spurred by this, Riko and Reg decide to trek down to the bottom of the Abyss, where no human has ever gone before.<br />
<br />
I wasn't prepared for how dark <i>Made in Abyss</i> would get. I knew this would be an adventure series about some kids going down into an unexplored world, but imagine if that world is the world of Drangleic. The deeper they go, the more monstrous the creatures are, the more savage they are, and the more insane the humans are. They meet half human monstrosities, humans that are beyond ruthless, and they even have to go through the perils of going up higher in the Abyss. Even ascending a bit can cause vomiting, hallucinations, the loss of their humanity, insanity, and even death. The longer you watch this show, the darker it gets. You thought <i>Madoka </i>was dark? This is darker.<br />
<br />
It's so rare to see a show like <i>Made in Abyss </i>produced during this day and age. It's gruesome, but it still has some light moments to it and there's still a sense of adventure throughout. Each episode was full of wonder and beauty, despite the darkness of said beauty. Riko and Reg are fantastic heroes, Riko in particular. She's so determined to see her mother and is the first one to inspire Reg whenever he gets down. And as for Reg, he's a great foil to Riko as the only person that can protect her while also being fascinated from a story perspective. Who is he? How was he created? Did he really come from the Abyss?<br />
<br />
There are so many questions to ask, and <i>Made in Abyss</i>... doesn't answer them. The show ends on a cliffhanger, and a major one at that that I won't spoil. But the last episode is tragic because of the material it deals with. There are very obvious arcs in the show, about three in total, and each of them are satisfying to watch. I can't describe how much I enjoyed <i>Made In Abyss</i> because of how bold, unique, pleasant, and frightening it is and how I can't wait until we get more of it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYqYj2p0KVGoU2E8TEBCGzo1QxShllHelTn08Z3oq6MDksCaMlMvEVJZJXkOmD-fuJnrduoTzLzPzyRvPkQ4dEsWhofaszmER7d4IiRTfHD9y2Ezj0mPDLfA_IasRopFvl04UlKED4C67-/s1600/85469l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="428" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYqYj2p0KVGoU2E8TEBCGzo1QxShllHelTn08Z3oq6MDksCaMlMvEVJZJXkOmD-fuJnrduoTzLzPzyRvPkQ4dEsWhofaszmER7d4IiRTfHD9y2Ezj0mPDLfA_IasRopFvl04UlKED4C67-/s320/85469l.jpg" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Re:Creators</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
You know how I said my biggest problem with the first cour of this show was how it decided to explain everything without actually having any action? Yeah, the exact opposite of that happened here with a massive fight that lasted for 5 episodes. I don't know if I should have wished for more action.<br />
<br />
The second cour of <i>Re:Creators </i>deals with both our heroes and villains gearing up for a final battle to decide if the world will live or if the world will die. In between seeing fictional characters fight, we get drama between the human writers and their creations they made. But we also get a couple of new characters added to the mix that I don't have enough time to get to know or even like. And by the end of the series, all of the characters that came to live are pretty much rendered pointless in the grand scheme of things.<br />
<br />
So you have a series that was built on fictional characters entering the real world, but by the end of the series, you have them admitting that they were side characters in their own stories. The main focus actually fell onto the humans to create literal deus ex machinas to fight against the Military Uniform Princess, and the humans just unleash them one after the other as the NEW trump card to beat her. There are about two or three of these examples. And by the end, it just feels like nothing was accomplished. It's a happy ending, the series makes some more meta commentary about writers and the products they write, roll credits.<br />
<br />
I'm conflicted with the second half of the show, because after so much build up leading up to an explosive finale, it was more of a drawn out spurt of an ending. The fight kept going, new powers emerged, and at the end I just felt unsatisfied. You know how in the <i>Transformers </i>movies the focus was on the squishy humans instead of the massive robots fighting for the fate of the universe. Imagine an anime version of that. We get one character, Magane, who has an incredibly interesting set of powers and abilities and foreshadowing that she would eventually do something massive, maybe even usurp the Military Uniform Princess, but it never happens. She has a scene in one of the last five episodes, then vanishes for the rest of the series.<br />
<br />
<i>Re:Creators </i>reeks of a show that was rewritten towards the end of it. I think that the writers spent so much time explaining their world that they had no time to really give it a proper conclusion. <i>Re:Creators </i>is a misfire, plain and simple. It's a ho-hum show that has a great premise, but took a few wrong steps in production that led to a middling finale. In fact, that's the best way to describe the show; middling at best, ho-hum at worst.<br />
<br />
OVERALL RANKING<br />
<br />
So it was a safe summer. That's really it. Great premises were led astray and good titles were only good because they played it safe. There were legitimately great titles that took risks, but they either failed or soared.<br />
<br />
What failed was <i>Re:Creators</i>, but failed would be a bit too strong of a word. It just didn't do as well as it could have done, making it the worst title of the Summer for not sticking the landing on a premise that could have been really great. <i>Gamers! </i>escaped being the worst show of the season by the sole virtue that I enjoyed watching it, even if it didn't try to be ambitious like <i>Re:Creators </i>was. <i>Little Witch Academia </i>offered a different conclusion that the first cour, but the animation, characters, and twists let me enjoy the show just as much as the first half.<br />
<br />
So then we have <i>Kakegurui</i> and <i>Made in Abyss</i>, two shows that couldn't be more different. We have a simple show that's based all on thrills and raising the tension in every episode, and a complex show that deals with deep themes and a compelling world and characters. At the end of the day though, I enjoyed both titles, but <i>Made in Abyss </i>is a show I want to see more of. A common complaint of <i>Kakegurui </i>is that once you've seen one episode, you've seen them all, and that's an accurate assessment. <i>Made in Abyss </i>is a show that makes you want to watch all of the episodes one right after the other. <i>Kakegurui </i>is a thrill, but <i>Made in Abyss </i>is an engagement, and I will gladly watch another episode of <i>Made in Abyss </i>this instant.<br />
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MADE IN ABYSS</div>
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KAKEGURUI</div>
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LITTLE WITCH ACADEMIA</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
GAMERS!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
RE:CREATORS</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370245662221685786.post-78546824112994467972017-09-29T14:01:00.000-07:002017-09-29T14:01:01.406-07:00The Seasonal Orders: Fall 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Nothing beats the end of the year and the big rush of movies and games!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Welcome to another Seasonal Order! 2017 is almost done, but believe me, this is going to be the busiest that the site has ever been for the next three months. Read on to see why!<br />
<br />
<b>4 YEAR ANNIVERSARY REVIEW</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
On October 4th, it'll once again be The Critical Order's birthday! I can't believe that this site has been going on for four years, and 2017 has been the strongest year for the site ever. As in, the hits from the past 9 months have exceeded the past three years combined. How? I have no idea, but I'm completely thankful for that! I'd like to truly thank everyone for reading and stay supportive of the site through all of its ups and downs. But the celebrations are going to be a bit postponed this year.<br />
<br />
See, usually I put up a review on the 4th to celebrate, and usually I make it a <i>My Little Pony </i>movie because those are the most fun to review. I have passing interest in the franchise, but being an outsider looking in has always just been a pleasant time, quality of the movies not withstanding. Well it just so happens that on the 6th, a <i>My Little Pony </i>feature film is coming to theatres, so instead of trying to rush out a review to celebrate the anniversary, I'm going to have a blowout review on that Sunday, October 8th. So mark your calendars for the day when I have to sit in a movie theatre to go and watch a movie that I'm dreading to see more than <i>The Emoji Movie</i>! Will it be good? Will it be bad? Who knows! Read the review to find out.<br />
<br />
<b>SCHEDULE</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
So the schedule this time is extremely busy, and it has a few certain things about it that may not make a lot of sense unless I explain it. As of right now, the schedule for the next three months is...<br />
<br />
10/1 - Summer 2017 Anime Review<br />
10/8 - 4 Year Anniversary Review<br />
10/15 - One Piece: Unlimited Retrospective - East Blue Part 3<br />
10/22 - Top 20 Best Comic Book Villains Introduction<br />
10/29 - Top 20 Best Comic Book Villains (20-11)<br />
10/31 - Top 20 Best Comic Book Villains (10-1)<br />
11/5(?) - The Batman Retrospective<br />
11/12(?) - Triple Features: Thor: Ragnarok, Murder on the Orient Express, Blade Runner 2049<br />
11/19 - Justice League<br />
11/26 - Coco<br />
12/3 - The Disaster Artist<br />
12/10 - The Shape of Water<br />
12/17 - Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi<br />
12/24 - BREAK<br />
12/31 - Fall 2017 Anime Review<br />
<br />
Obviously there is a break for Christmas, but I wanted to make sure that I got a special post for <i>One Piece </i>in for a couple of reasons. One, I wanted to get the first major storyline done by the end of 2017 as promised, and if I missed out on putting it in October then I wouldn't be able to get it done until January the earliest. Two, There really aren't that many movies coming out until late November that I want to see, so there was some flexibility with the beginning. Finally, I honestly loved writing my last entry in the Unlimited Retrospective so much that I wanted to get into it right away. I seriously has a blast just sitting down and summarizing a series that I love, and I couldn't wait four months to do it again.<br />
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On that note, you'll see that I have the Top 20 Comic Book Villains all set and ready for the end of October. In previous years, I've always released by Top 10 picks on Halloween itself, but with the new scheduling I couldn't really do that. But I said screw that and kept the tradition alive. It just means that I'll have to work pretty damn hard for that week, since I'll be putting out two Top 10's essentially and a Retrospective.<br />
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So you see those question marks besides the Retrospective and the Triple Feature? Well, because of how swamped I'm going to make myself by the end of October going into the holidays, those posts may be a day or two late. I don't want to just throw big project after big project after each other, so taking the extra time just to unwind is probably going to be a necessity for me. And then January I can vacation as much as I want, but not for now!<br />
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<b>VIDEO GAMES</b><br />
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Making video game reviews come out on Thursdays has been a pretty relaxing switch also. Sometimes I wish that I could beat a game in a week just so I can get a review out fast, but this is another case of not being stuck to a deadline and enjoying my time with a new game. So with the big holiday season coming, here are the games I plan on reviewing and when you can expect them.<br />
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<i>Danganronpa V3 - </i>Mid October<br />
<i>Super Mario Odyssey - </i>Mid November<br />
<i>South Park: The Fractured But Whole - </i>Late November<br />
<i>Xenoblade Chronicles 2 - </i>Mid December<br />
<i>Sonic Forces - </i>Late December<br />
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That may seem like a few amount of games, but with two of those games looking like they're going to be massive adventures, I should at least be able to complete each game and give an honest opinion of each of them.<br />
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<b>MISSED REVIEWS</b><br />
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So if you've noticed, there have been a bunch of movies and games that I said I was going to review, but never really got around to them. Well, that's because I'm probably not going to get around to making a written review of them. It's sad, but I just don't have enough time to write about movies that I want to see and the movies that I could see. The coulds will always take less precedence over the movies I need to see, just because my own anticipation usually exceeds my curiosity.<br />
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That isn't to say that I haven't seen them or will not see them. Instead, here are movies and games that I have seen or will see that you may or may not see in my Best and Worst of 2017, but you can almost certainly not expect to see a review out of them unless a slot is freed in my schedule.<br />
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<i>Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Valerian and the City of A Thousand Planets, The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature, Horizon: Zero Dawn, Yooka Laylee, Pokemon Ultra Moon, </i>and <i>Cuphead.</i><br />
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Sad, but at least I can guarantee you that you'll hear me talk about <i>It</i> by the end of the year...<br />
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<b>ANIME</b><br />
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To say I'm satisfied with the Summer season would be a big understatement, but the question ultimately comes to can 2017 end strong? Well, <i>Blood Blockade Battlefront </i>returns for a second season, so unless that gets royally screwed up, I say the answer is yes. Here's what I plan on watching for the Fall.<br />
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<i>Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond </i><br />
<i>Dies Irae</i><br />
<i>The Ancient Magus' Bride </i><br />
<i>Black Clover </i><br />
<i>Kino's Journey </i><br />
<i>Yuki Yuna is a Hero</i><br />
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So that's all there is this time! See you all Sunday and next week for the 4 Year Anniversary Review!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18352805212173324982noreply@blogger.com3