Maleficent Review

If you were to ask me what the best Disney villain of all time was, I would undeniably point to Maleficent, the evil fairy from Sleeping Beauty as the worst of the worst, and I'm sure many others would agree to that. She's evil for the sake of evil and doomed an innocent child to an eternal rest just because she didn't get invited to a party. That's pretty evil. So when I heard about Maleficent, a movie based on her, was being made, I was hyped. Granted it wasn't an astronomical level of hype, but it was solid expectation that we would get a fascinating look into the mindset of one of film's greatest villains. So when the movie came out and I sat in my chair, I was expecting a movie that would redefine and strengthen my respect for Maleficent and her actions, and I did get a movie that painted her into a much more understandable and justified character, but simultaneously ruining the character of Maleficent herself. Yeah this is going to be a complicated one. 

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart 7

And now we've reached the end of our little retrospective. 7 games over the course of a little over a month, all leading up to Mario Kart 8's release in two days. And now, we close out this little retrospective with Mario Kart 7, a game that tries to mix the best elements of the series together to mixed results. I think. It's complicated.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart Wii

Surprisingly enough, this is the one entry in the series that I'm least familiar with. I was always aware of the game and I have played it, but this is the last Mario Kart game that I actually bought. Does that mean I don't like it? No, not really, but it is lacking something that I can't quite put my finger on.

Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return Review

I feel that it is completely necessary to preface this review with a little tidbit. If you are shy or are uncomfortable with copious amounts of cursing, you should probably avoid this review. I make no guarantees that I won't curse given the quality of today's movie. Also, I if I do get... angry in the middle of this review, I apologize. I just want to make sure everyone is prepared for what's about to happen. Never before has it been so justifiable for me to curse and rage ever so freely about a movie. Let's get right down to business then. Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return is bad. Hell, I think it's awful. It's a waste of time and a waste of money, and I feel that so much effort and talent was wasted on this sorry excuse for a movie. And that's me being polite. Hence the preface.

Chef Review

You know what it's been a while since I've had? Alaskan King Crab. I just want you to imagine this for a moment. You're sitting on the deck of a restaurant on the beach. It's sunset, and the waves are crashing against the shores with the salty wind blowing through your hair. Suddenly, your waiter appears and gives you a 2 pound Alaskan King Crab with a side of butter. You take the claw of the crab, rip it open, and find the plumpest piece of crab meat you've ever seen in your life. It's as thick as your index and middle finger together. You dip it in the butter, place it gently on your tongue, and let the flavors hit you like a train. A sense of divinity rushes through your body as you embrace the food in your mouth. If you are hungry after listening to that, then you'll like Chef.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart DS

I remember back on Christmas of 2005 when I first got my DS. I got it with a copy of Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, Mega Man Battle Network 5: Double Team DS, and of course, Mario Kart DS. I played through all five games and loved each other them, but the one game that I still bring out every now and then to play through has to be the big MK. Or MKDS because of brand confusion... this is Mario Kart DS.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart Double Dash!!

So this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but I'm never shy of saying unpopular things. I don't like Mario Kart: Double Dash!! that much. In fact, I'd say that it's probably my least favorite game in the series, Super Circuit not withstanding. I know that's not the most popular opinion, but I have my reasoning! Trust me I do!

Neighbors Review

Well... this is a surprise. I don't think that anyone was betting that this movie would get $51.1 million in its opening weekend. Like, no one at all. There was even less of a chance of it to dethrone The Amazing Spider-Man 2 after only one week in the U.S. Just, let that sink in for a bit. A multi-million dollar blockbuster that was completely funded by a major global corporation that was released around the world... has lost to a small budget comedy about frats and family. We live in a strange world. What's even stranger is that, I'm kind of thankful for it.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart Super Circuit

When Nintendo had their Mario Kart 8 Nintendo Direct on April 30th, they had a little retrospective feature outlining each entry in the franchise. It wasn't in as much detail as we are doing now, but it was a little buffer to fill the space between announcements. Oddly enough though, they left out Mario Kart: Super Circuit from their retrospective. It was a smaller entry in the franchise granted, but it was still an entry and one in a series that doesn't have that many installments. Then I remembered "Oh yeah! The game kind of sucked!", and everything explained itself.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Review

Well, here it is. The big one. The one movie I have been dreading for a multitude of reasons. It's critically divisive to the point where people will argue over the quality of the movie at a drop of a hat. A movie that has so much expectation behind it that it will either be great or a massive failure. A movie that has comic book fans all fighting each other over how Peter Parker and Spider-Man should be interpreted in movies. So many factors are going into this review that this was the first time I had to do extensive research and thought pondering before I even saw the movie. I watched ALL of the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies, and the first Amazing Spider-Man movie just to get ready for this. Strap yourselves in, cause it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Transcendence Review

Ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh......... 2014 so far has no been a great year for movies. There have been far more crappier movies released this year than good movies, and it's to the point where I'm severely doubting if any upcoming movies are going to be good. I'm looking forward to Maleficent, but given the pace this year is going, I'm fully expecting it to be disappointing. Is that right? Of course not. I want to go into a movie fully expecting it to be great and blow me away, but so many movies have just been so bad that it's wearing down my resistances. Take in point, Transcendence, or in other words, the movie that nearly broke me. Nearly.