Strange magic indeed...
As we move forward into the Month of Misses, we've encountered a bizarre movie indeed. Stop me if you've heard this one before, but we have a pop opera adaptation of A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare and written by George Lucas. This is a match made in heaven that no one wanted and even fewer thought would be good. Shock of all shocks, it's not good, and is actually more admirable for its sheer weirdness than anything else.
Our story revolves around Marianne, a fairy that is all swooned
over in love for the handsome Roland, until she finds out that he was cheating
on her. Instantly, she changes her entire demeanor into hardened warrior
princess and says "Screw you!" to love forever. Her sister meanwhile
is still head over heels for any guy she meets, except her best friend Sunny,
an elf. After a whole lot of sub plots and slapstick, Sunny discovers how to
make a love potion, gives it to Marianne's sister, but the evil Bog King
kidnaps her, so it's up to Marianne to save her and also do like four other
things that I can hardly remember and wow this plot has too many elements going
on in it. I mean, seriously, I know this is a kid's adaptation of one of
Shakespeare's densest plays, but you can't do it all in a single 90 minute
movie.
Actually, I might be jumping the gun a bit when I say it's an
adaptation of Midsummer Night's Dream, as in it has very little, if
anything, to do with the play. The play centers around lovers, marriage,
mystical beings in the woods, or at least that's what Strange
Magic only thinks its about. Now I will say it's been quite a while
since I've read AMND, but I'm very certain that there was no evil Bog
King, two kingdoms divided by love and loveless, and definitely no forced
comedic humor. Shakespeare's humor, and the script for that matter, was unique
for being written entirely in verse. There was not a single bit of prose
throughout the whole play, so every line was in iambic pentameter, rhymed, and
was exceptionally flowery and doused with imagery. Strange Magic decides
to have everyone speak with incredibly modern dialogue, attitudes, and
tropes.
So as an adaptation, it doesn't work. It takes so many liberties
with the original script that I think it's an adaptation in name only, and I
mean that wuite literally. The events of the movie take place in a single
night, and when the stakes are this low, it's hard to become invested in the
characters. In AMND, there was no earth shattering plot for the
fate of two kingdoms hanging in the balance. Hell, it was the play where a
character named Bottom walks around for the majority of the play with a donkey
for a head. It's not the most serious play in world. Yet when you play the
comedy as drama, it's not as effective, and all of the problems with the
script, writing, and dialogue become even more apparent.
That's not even getting into this movie as a pop opera, or jukebox
musical to some. For those of you that are unaware, a pop opera/jukebox musical
is a musical that is composed entirely of songs from other artists. There are
hardly, if any, original songs in the show and is a Frankenstein combination of
artists, genres, and motifs strung together by a single central theme. Rock
of Ages is composed of 80's rock songs, Mama Mia! from
Abba songs, Across the Universe from Beatles songs, you get
the idea. And I do not like pop opera's or jukebox musical because usually the
show is a slave to the music choices.
The plot has to be oriented around the music, but the music chosen
for the show or movie was never designed to convey an over arching story. Most
of these songs were just meant to be a single for an artist that sounds pretty
on its own. You can try to piece a story together through these songs, but
that's easier said than done when the songs give you legitimately nothing to
work with. A musical is meant to convey a story through music and song, and
when the lyrics were not designed to convey a story, then it's impossible to
work with. Strange Magic tries to tie songs around the theme
of love, but none of them gel. The songs are just slapped on and expected to
gel.
Because the music doesn't work and is sung rather poorly too, the
plot can't keep itself afloat. It tries to do too many things at once. There's
the main story with Marianne rescuing her sisters, but then we have Sunny
trying to get his love potion back from a gerbil-thing, the Bog King dealing
with Marianne's sister, who is now in love with him thanks to the love potion,
Roland trying to force Marianne to fall in love with her, the Sugar Plum Fairy
being trapped in the Bog King's jail, the Bog King's mother trying to be a
Jewish mother and find him a wife, there's just way too much stuff going on
during the movie. If it was just a simple save the princess story with a female
twist, that would be sufficient and even a little bit fresh, but instead it
tries to throw in everything all at once.
Then we have the animation, which looks fine, but the character
models just look wrong. I can't tell exactly why the models make me squeem so
much, but I think it has to do with their faces. The characters have weird
looking facing with odd angles, odd expressions, and they just don't look
natural to me. They look fake in every sense of the word. Watching these
character models dance just look wrong. This is 2015, but this is something
that we would be getting out of the early 2000's.
I will say that there are some things that are good in this movie.
The instrumentals are usually pretty good. There aren't any lyrics to them, but
we get little quick versions of Bad Romance, Barracuda, People Are Strange, and
other pretty decent little ditties that sound better than the actual full
songs. And even though I just dissed the animation a bit, some of the settings
do look pretty like 5% of the time, so there's something I guess...
Strange Magic is a weird little movie
and will probably be the weirdest movie I talk about all year. It's just a
bizarre combination that no one wanted, no one cared about, and it bombed hard
at the box office. However, it's not offense or even terrible to kids. It's
just kind of bad in all of the inoffensive ways. Like, I don't want this movie
to be attacked by trolls and burned at the stake, but it's just disposable in
every sense of the word. If it did poorly, oh well. If it did well, that's
okay. I just don't care enough to muster even a bit of enthusiasm to this film.
But next time George Lucas decides to write a Shakespearean musical, I want to
see him do Othello as a metal opera! It could happen.
No comments:
Post a Comment