Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Bayonetta 2 Review

It's Thanksgiving weekend, I'm lazy, I'm doing a Nuzlocke of Pokemon: Omega Ruby, and I've just spent the past week playing the hell out of Super Smash Bros for Wii U. And yet, I still need to find time to talk about Bayonetta 2, one of the best action games I've ever played, but in a way that's quick, fun, and shows you all just how amazing the game is in the most minimal effort possible. It's laziness, it's just laziness. So here's two people summoning God to shoot a naked man into a dragon's mouth while flying a fighter jet.

Oh, and you get to play as an Arwing from Star Fox! There's that too. Oh, and did I mention this game is very sexual? Cause it is. Just look at it.

Made by a female designed to represent what she wants to be. 
Hmm.... what else is there to say about Bayonetta 2 that I haven't covered yet...? Oh! There's black Santa Claus! And he drives on the side of a building with a fat Joe Pesci as he throws guns to Bayonetta!

So I know this whole review may seem like I'm drunk and just posting the most random things in relation to Bayonetta 2, but here's the thing. This game is great. It's a great action game and just a barrel of joy to play. I smile when I play this game and i'm filled with a sense of childlike glee. And you know what? It's Thanksgiving! I deserve a break from doing pages on pages of reviews! Can't I just have a little fun once in a whole and post a review of a great game where Black Santa helps an amazonian super sexualized witch kill God (for the second time) by shooting him into a dragon on top of a mountain? Anything I say after that would just be mute. 

If you liked Bayonetta, you'll like this game. That and it's soundtrack. PLAY ME OFF MOON RIVER!


Have a happy Thanksgiving! Next time, an actual review!

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