Monday, April 11, 2016
Huniecam Studio Review
Porn, monopolies, and AIDS. What more could you ask?
It's been a solid year since I've completed Huniepop, my biggest surprise of 2015. I loved that game, as shameless as it was, and I could not wait until the next game in the series came out. I waited and waited with bated breath, and my prayers have been answered. I present to you, dear reader, Huniecam Studio, where I take all of the women in Huniepop and turn them into porn stars to build a porn empire for me.
What a game this is.
So at its essence, Huniecam is a clicker game. You have resources and girls to manage and your overall goal is to make over 100,000 subscribers in three weeks. How do you do that? Send them camming to make you money, send them out to escort to make more money, then use that money to increase your business, get your girls more subscribers, send them out to get you more girls, then rinse and repeat until you become the king of all porn. And so, because I have nothing better to do, here is my actual, 100% accurate and truthful account of the rise and fall of my porn empire.
When I first began Huniecam Studio, I had to choose one of three girls to be the foundation of my porn empire. All three of them were former Huniepop girls, so it came down to choosing between Tiffany, the college girl just trying to pay her debts, Nikki, the video game streamer who turned to porn to make more money, and Kyanna, the mother who figured that camming would make her more money than hair dressing. I decided to start with Tiffany, because I understood where she was coming from and wanted to support her in anyway possible. So I shoved her off into the photo studio to get more fans before I shilled her out to the internet to make me money.
Soon, multiple buildings became open for me to shove Tiffany into. I could put her into the strip club to raise her talent, allowing her to make more money. I could put her into the boutique to get more style, allowing her to get more fans. Or I could put her into the sleazy motel, which will have her make a plethora of money in an hour. The catch is is that she could get an STD. Case in point; when we sent Nikki, a super cute gamer girl into the sleazy motel, she came out with AIDS.
So no sleazy motel.
In that same save file, I always was able to put my porn empire into huge catastrophic debt because of AIDS, poor time management skills, and the fact that I had no idea what I was doing.
So I started a new save file in order to save my sanity, but instead of starting with Tiffany, I went with the safest bet I could; I started with Beli, who is best girl and will always be best girl. Beli was a chubby Asian girl, which was able to increase my demographic in those markets. Soon, my empire began to encompass chubby girls and sweet Asians girls. Did I ever suspect my porn empire would revolve around fat Asian women? No, but it's making me money, so who am I to complain.
I hired Tiffany again in this new file, but instead, I began to use items on her, which allowed her to break into several demographics and reduce her salary in order to help maximize my profits. So I gave her two water coolers so she could become proficient in water sports (look it up kids). We also hired on a Hawaiian girl named Lailaini who became proficient in anal despite the fact that she was a chubby flat chested girl. Again, I don't know why I have a porn empire around fat girls doing anal and water sports, but money is money, so who am I to complain.
One problem that I kept running into was the lack of cigarettes and alcohol for my girls. In order to reduce their stress levels, some girls need drinks and cigarettes to keep mellow and work long hours. If they get too stressed, then they need to go to the spa in order to reduce all of their stress. I always had to send girls to the spa to relax, but the cigarette and booze runs were a hassle to do. Instead of making money, I had to send girls, particularly Lailani because anal was not very profitable surprisingly, to always get these goods. So instead I just invested in getting everyone boxed wine and cigarette patches in order to stop their addictions.
By this point, I had a sufficient empire and began to use advertisements in order to get all of the fans. My chubby girl empire was perfectly well kept as the money and fans rolled in. I had everyone at a decent rate of $64-128 an hour, thousands of dollars in reserve, and tens of thousands of fans to call my own. I effectively became the porn lord of fat girls who ran a respectable record. No one ever prostituted themselves on my watch, because I don't want any of my girls to get an STD. I eventually gave Beli the position of Queen Mother, the first and best chubby girl in my employment.
However, a more profitable girl came in the form of Kyanna, the fit single mother who eventually made more money than Beli. That is a fact, but Beli did not enjoy that. On the eve of my final night as the head of the pron empire (which was incredibly easy to manage and raise mind you), Beli and I orchestrated a plan to completely remove every girl from our employment and buy every girl from the Talent Agency. Kyanna was popular, but our entire empire was based solely on the foundation of great big chubby girls, so this idol of fitness had to go. Secretly, and without warning, while she was in the middle of her cam show, I had every chubby model under the employment of Beli and I come in and throw her off of the roof of the cam studio. We officially transmitted our operation from porn into an underground chubby camgirl mafia with myself and Beli the head of this family.
And so here we are at the end of our three week adventure. Beli was best girl, I was a successful porn lord, had a diamond dick trophy commemorating my 100,000 fans, and sat upon a throne of water coolers, dildos, and chubby girls. As I gazed upon my great works, I looked inward and though "Was this worth it?" Was it worth all of the AIDS, dildos, cocaine (yes I gave Kyanna cocaine. Sue me.), shameless stripper lessons, cigarette patches, chubby girls, and market manipulations? Yes. Undeniably yes.
But then I looked at Beli the Queen Mother and though back to better days. Days where I romanced her with cabbages and had lesbian sex with literal mythological gods. And I missed that. I missed the intimacy and the passion of falling in love with her for the first time and somehow maintaining a relationship with 12 girls simultaneously. Yes I had 18 girls here to manage, but I never felt like they were mine. I never loved them in the same way I loved all of the girls before. And I sat upon my throne of power and though to myself that if I could, I would take Beli back on all of those dates again in a heartbeat.
Also I can't have sex with anyone here, so instant point down! Where's the fun in managing these girls if I can't have a massive chubby/fit/flat chest/anal/water sport orgy! It just ain't kosher!!!
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