Seasonal Orders: Winter 2015

Happy New Year everyone!!! Here's what's on the docket for 2015!!!

Into the Woods Review

Ummm... Hmmm... This is... Ummm...

The Interview Review

It's a Christmas miracle!

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) Review

I may be late to the party, but hot damn is this movie phenomenal.

Grumpy Cat's WORST Christmas Ever Review

I hate Christmas.

Let's Talk About The Interview

On Wednesday December 17th, 2014, Sony Pictures of America has cancelled the release of their latest comedy, The Interview, with no plans to release it in any format due to terrorist threats. Those threats indicated that if the movie was released, then violence and attacks equivalent of 9/11 would happen in movie theatres throughout the United States. It has only recently come to light that these threats and the preceding hacks that led to this decision, can be attributed to the North Korean government. There are no plans to release this movie as of right now, Wednesday December 17th, 2014.

Okay. Let's play hard ball.

Exodus Gods and Kings Review

White people, am I right?

The Critical Order's Top 10 Movies of All Time

In the year since The Critical Order published its first review, I've been sitting on this Top 10 list for some time. I've been wondering when it would be a good time to drop it because I never knew when I would be ready to talk about it. Trying to come up with 10 of your favorite movies, let alone rank them, is a nearly impossible task, and one that had me sitting for hours trying to figure out. You might say that it's stupid to take this much time to try and list off your favorite movies, but ask yourself to do it. Ask yourself to try and rank the movies that have touched your heart, made you smile, made you think, scared you, or even made you cry, and you'll know why this list was so difficult to make. As a site that gets its views mostly from movie reviews, I feel that this list was the best one to start with as I list my personal Top 10 Favorite Movies of All Time. Will this list change? Probably, but as it is, these 10 movies are the closest to my heart and will take a lot of effort to get them off this list.

The Penguins of Madagascar Review

What do you expect? It's fun, simple, and worth a good laugh.

Five Nights at Freddy's 2 Review

It's me... again...

Bayonetta 2 Review

It's Thanksgiving weekend, I'm lazy, I'm doing a Nuzlocke of Pokemon: Omega Ruby, and I've just spent the past week playing the hell out of Super Smash Bros for Wii U. And yet, I still need to find time to talk about Bayonetta 2, one of the best action games I've ever played, but in a way that's quick, fun, and shows you all just how amazing the game is in the most minimal effort possible. It's laziness, it's just laziness. So here's two people summoning God to shoot a naked man into a dragon's mouth while flying a fighter jet.

Super Smash Bros for Wii U Review

The day was November 21st, 2014. When I woke up, I knew for a fact that it would be a glorious day. The plan was simple; a couple of friends and I were set, we would drive to our local Gamestop and pick up the Collector's Bundle of Super Smash Bros for Wii U and spend the rest of the day playing it. We picked it up along with an amiibo, the collector's strategy guide, and a copy of Pokemon: Omega Ruby. We then spent 12 hours straight playing through the game and every mode of it. 

This game is beyond great. Simply put, this is the best game in the series and the reason to get a Wii U. 

Super Smash Bros Retrospective: Brawl

Today is the release date of Super Smash Bros for Wii U. Before everyone goes off and spends the rest of their days playing this game, let's take a quick moment to close out this retrospective with a look at its immediate predecessor, Super Smash Bros Brawl.

Big Hero 6 Review

I saw this movie on its release day, November 7th, 2014. It is now 11 days later and I am just now writing my review. Why is that? Because more so than any other movie this year, I don't know how I feel about this movie. Even as I write this review, I still don't know what I saw. Big Hero 6 is a weird anomaly for me to review because on paper, it should be a movie that I'm clamoring for and praising up the wazoo. Instead, I'm left with a feeling of apathy towards the movie.

Super Smash Bros Retrospective: Melee

Immediately after the original Smash Bros, it didn't take long for a new iteration of the series to come out. Super Smash Bros. Melee released in the first few months after the Gamecube's launch and was the supposed "killer app" for the system. People were hyped as all hell for the game and after launch, it became one of the most successful fighting games of all time. People still play it to this day over other entries in the series and call it the best game in the series. I'm not in that camp.

Interstellar Review

Just go see it.

Super Smash Bros Retrospective

15 days. It's just 15 days until one of the most anticipated games of the year is released. Yes, people may fall in love with Farcry 4 or Dragon Age: Inqusition but for my money, I'll be spending all of my time playing the new Smash Bros. Super Smash Bros. is a series that has existed for 15 years and with only three games under its belt, it has become one of the most popular and successful fighting game franchises of all time. So in these 15 days, I'm going to look back at every game in the series leading up to my review of Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. And don't worry, I'll count the 3DS version in my review since they're pretty much the same game. Let's get this hype train rolling!!!

Shantae and the Pirate's Curse Review

Back in 2009, I got the September issue of Nintendo Power, which had a huge feature covering a game called Shantae: Risky's Revenge. The game had eight pages dedicated to the DSiware title had a ton of screenshots, interviews, and level descriptions. When it came out a year later, I loved every last aspect of it. Hell, I love the game to this day, calling it one of the best 2D platformers of all time. When I think of 2D platformers, I think of Shantae: Risky's Revenge. And now, four years later, we have the sequel Shantae and the Pirate's Curse, which also debuted in Nintendo Power, albeit the penultimate issue of Nintendo Power. What's tough is that I lvoe the game and I think it's great, but it has some problems that stop me from loving it with all my heart and soul. 

Top 20 Video Game Villains: 10-1

And here we are. The top 10 video game villains of all time. I just want to remind everyone that this is my own personal list for what I believe the best video game villains are and you are completely entitled to your own opinion. This is just what I think and what I believe are the best antagonists that gaming has ever offered. If you haven't read the first part of this list, you can check it out here. So... here we go.

The Book of Life Review

Can you smell it? That's the smell of Halloween in the air! It's that one time of the year where we can celebrate everything macabre and dark with no repercussions to it at all! We can eat candy, scare people, and celebrate the darkest day of the year with glee. However, not all holidays surrounding death are meant to be dark and grim. In actuality, some holidays about death have a positive and joyous vibe to them. Case in point, Dia de Los Muertoes, or the Mexican holiday Day of the Dead. If you're ever interested in learning about that holiday, then I say you should probably give The Book of Life  a watch.

Azure Striker Gunvolt Review

One of my favorite game series from recent memory would be the exquisite Mega Man Zero series. It was a short series for the Gameboy Advance that only consisted of four games, but each game was action platforming perfection. They were never too long, they had a great variety of bosses, challenging stages, and were some of the hardest portable games I've ever played. As the series went on, the quality man have dipped as did the story, but the franchise had a concise and great feel to it that made it a blast to play. SO why am I bringing up a franchise that ended nearly a decade ago? Because Azure Striker Gunvolt is the spiritual successor to Zero in nearly every way possible.

The Top 20 Video Game Villains: 20-11

And here we are at the first half of our list. No more honorable mentions, no more explanations, just a breakdown of gaming's greatest villains. Belong I'll list who they are, some of their notable highlights, and why they belong on this list. So here we go with #20...

The Top 20 Video Game Villains: Introduction

Villains. These are the characters that we love to hate. The characters we want to see defeated. The characters that are our heroes' greatest challenge. Villains are usually some of the most dynamic characters in a story, and that is especially true in video games. In video games, villains are your motivation for doing your quest. They are an obstacle that needs to be overcome and they serve as your justification for playing the game. While games without villains certainly do exist, there's no beating fighting against a character that is everything you stand against. And for the rest of the month, I'll be talking about my 20 favorite video game villains, the cream of the proverbial crop.

Hyrule Warriors Review

I feel like I don't get to talk about The Legend of Zelda as often as I should on here. If we're being perfectly honest with ourselves, Zelda is one of the most important and innovative game series that ever existed in the history of this medium, but the past few years haven't exactly been kind to the series. Yes, I am a Nintendo fan, but I will fully admit when a series has reached a point of stagnation. Since the release of Twilight Princess, the franchise has done well, but it hasn't emotionally gripped me the same way that other games in the series have. Phantom Hourglass, Link Between Worlds, Ocarina of Time 3D, and even Twilight Princess itself have left me not as enthused as I thought I would be. Skyward Sword was a phenomenal game, but the franchise has been relatively quiet these past few years. And so we get Hyrule Warriors, an attempt to give a brief bit a of life into the series to tide us over until the release of the next inevitable Zelda game.

My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks Review

Well, here we are. One entire year of reviewing. To think that this blog would have been able to go on that long and develop this many viewers is absolutely phenomenal, and I am truly thankful for it all. We've ha dour ups, and we've had our downs. I've seen some great movies and played some great games, and I've dealt with some true pieces of trash. Through it all though, I want to thank everyone who reads these reviews. Are they immensely popular? Not really, no. But the fact that people read them and always click on the links is truly a great sensation. Seeing people read, comment, and present their own opinions is a great experience and creating that kind of discussion about entertainment is a great feeling. So cheers to all of my readers! Cheers to all of you that have made this possible. And now, for you all, may I present to you the one year anniversary review.

Let's review My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks.

Best Summer anime of 2014

This summer was a very interesting season for anime! Never before have I seen a season that was filled with so much potential and hope only to be quickly flushed down the drain after a few episodes. Yeah... this was not a good season for anime in the slightest. I know there are a bunch of people that found some really great shows these past three months, but nothing stood out to me or caught my interest. When a show did catch my interest though, all of the anticipation and hope I had for it left me faster than I could watch it. It was a chore to watch several of these shows, to the point where I had to muster up all of the strength I could to watch them all to completion so I could give a full review. So here they are. The five shows that I've seen this season and how most of them suck. Cheers.

The Seasonal Orders Fall 2014

Hello and welcome back to TCO's Seasonal Orders! You may be wondering why this is coming out earlier than other Seasonal Orders, but I'll happily be able to provide and explanation for that in a little bit. That being said, here's what you can look forward to in the next three months!

Danganronpa 2: Goodybe Despair Review

Over the summer, I had the joy of playing through a little title called Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc. I thought that it was a great murder mystery visual novel with some interesting characters and gameplay mechanics. On the whole, I really dug it and had a great time playing it. I would go so far as to say that it's one of the few reasons to own a Playstation Vita (Persona 4 Golden being all of the other reasons). The ending of the game though left it kind of hard to imagine how a sequel could be made. If Monokuma was defeated at the end of the last game, and most of the cast died as well, what can even be done for a sequel that won't make it feel like it's trying to live in the shadow of its predecessor. Can it even surpass its predecessor?

Oculus Review

As we get closer and closer to Halloween, one of my favorite times of the year. I can't help but start to get into the horror mood. You may recall I did a review not too long ago of Five Nights at Freddy's, and just recently I decided to play through P.T (long story short, go play P.T it's absolutely fantastic). I just can't help but feel the horror in the air and start to inch my way back to the horror genre, which is a genre that I feel can fail incredibly easily. But there are those times where once in a while, you see a horror movie or play a horror game that just plain works. Case in point, Oculus is one hell of a great horror movie.

The Nut Job Review

I'm going to be saying a lot of things about The Nut Job in this review. Most of them won't be pleasant, but there is one thing that I want to say about this movie right off the bat. This movie is a historical landmark. I don't mean that in the sense that it's a historical landmark for this blog, but a legitimate cinematic historical landmark. The Nut Job is actually the first globally released animated movie from South Korea. Now, one might be wondering why this is important, but here is the reason why. It is because of that reason, and that reason alone, that this haunts my nightmares.

Be afraid.

Five Nights at Freddy's Review

Well that was a short lived, yet fun little break for me! The summer slump finally hit last week, which essentially means that nothing really of note will be coming out until at least October, so reviews may be a bit slow for now... or that would have been the case if it wasn't for Five Nights at Freddy's. This game has become an internet darling in the past few weeks, becoming a Youtube hit in the same ways that Slender did a few years ago. That begs the question though; is Five Nights at Freddy's a good horror game? Is it even a good game period?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Review

Let's get this right out of the way now. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is not a good movie. It has a ton of flaws in it, the designs of its characters are ridiculous, the aesthetic is all wrong, and on the whole it's just very by the books. There's no real ambition behind it and there's no real reason for it to exist. Instead it's just a movie that was created for God only knows what, but now we have it.

All of that being said though, it's not as awful as everyone is making it out to be.

The Expendables III Review

To me, The Expendables has been a franchise that has never aimed too high, but still delivers decent installments every time. The premise is simple; get a bunch of 80's and 90's action stars together and have them blown shit up. You don't need to get more complicated than that. However, the series has been pretty unspectacular about its premise and usually puts its action icons in situations that aren't too ludicrous. The Expendables usually go to military operations and take down enemies with so much as a campy or cheesy wink to the camera, which is the best course of action for a movie series that's solely comprised of larger than life personas. In the third installment, The Expendables III manages to still be wholly unremarkable, but in an enjoyable way.

The Top 10 Batman Villains

Batman. Everyone loves Batman, right? He's the definitive hero to some, but above all else, he's just a plain badass to many. A symbol of a man that can become a hero without any super powers. A man who is able to solve crimes and save the day with his mind alone. He's a hero that I should rightfully love, and yet I don't hold that much affection towards him. I think Batman as a media icon is overexposed and hasn't really been in anything truly spectacular since 2008. He's had his time, but now it's time for a new icon to fill his space (Rocket Raccoon anyone...?) But while I may not have that much affection for Batman now, I LOVE his rogues, his villains, the people that constantly push him to his limit. I love everything about them and I love how each of them is visually interesting, has a distinct personality, and has a clear motivation and persona. So today, I'm going to rank my own personal list for the best Batman villains. I'm taking int consideration their appearances in comics, tv, film, video games, anything that's related to Batman. There's a lot of villains to go through, so let's start this list off. This is the Top 10 Batman Villains!

Sharknado 2: The Second One Review

Sometimes, a critic can have no words for a movie. Sometimes, a critic's role can be completely unnecessary when they're telling you about a movie. That's because sometimes, just sometimes, you can judge a book by its cover and you can infer a movie's quality based solely on its title. Sharknado 2: The Second One is one of those movies. It is so bad, so absolutely stupid, that it is probably the greatest action movie of the summer.

Guardians of the Galaxy Review

So far, every Marvel movie has received a ton of critical praise and it seems like there can be no fault in the movie studio juggernaut. However, most of the Marvel Phase 2 movies have actually been fairly mixed in terms of their reception. Iron Man 3 was loved by some and hated passionately by just as many people. Thor: The Dark World was good, but generally seen as one of the weaker movies in the franchise. Even Captain America: The Winter Soldier fell prey to a ton of hype and while it was a good movie, it's not the best Marvel movie made according to a large amount of Marvel film fans. So now we have Guardians of the Galaxy, which is trying to bite the bullet and give us a formal introduction to Marvel's version of deep space, a part of the Marvel universe that is mindboggling even to comic fans. I guess what I can say is that even though there's a lot going against this movie, Guardians of the Galaxy pulls through in spades. This is the summer blockbuster to beat.

Robocop (2014) Review

I'm struggling to figure out how to put Robocop into words. Reboots are always difficult to review because no matter how you look like it, your opinion of the reboot is always going to be colored by your affection of the original series. The more you like the original, the more difficult it will be to accept the changes of the reboot, therefore preventing you from being as open to the change as you would normally be. Not only that, but most of the new reboots are targeted at a very specific audience that is very difficult to sway; people who view the originals with nostalgia and want to try and modernize that same feeling they got in a much more modern setting, usually so that they can make money off of a brand name yet make it just similar enough so that no one can call it a blatant cash grab. I guess this is a really long way of saying that Robocop doesn't feel like a cash grab, but it completely misses the point and spirit of the original movie.

50 Shades! The Musical Review...?

So... I know I said that I would not be reviewing Broadway shows again because of personal grievances and all that bunk, but seriously... how could I not review this? I mean, it's 50 Shades! The Musical. It's a musical about 50 Shades of Grey, a book that's essentially hardcore BDSM mommy porn. The book itself has a reputation for being a punchline and a joke, so why, oh why, did they make it into a musical? What possessed people to think "Hey, let's turn 50 Shades of Grey into a musical! Won't that be great???" This is my account with this musical. This... thing.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes Review

Okay, so if you've been following my review schedule, you may have seen that I was originally going to review Lucy this week. Well for the foreseeable future, I'm not going to be seeing that movie any time soon. Why? It looks like pure sci-fi dreck. It has a dumb premise, even dumber execution, and has logic so far removed from reality with stupid and poor reasoning that there's no way in hell that I'm going to sit through that movie. I don't want to see movies that I know I'm going to hate just for the giggles. I want to see movies that are smart, adventurous, have a sense of passion and life to them, and most importantly, aren't dumb as shit. So instead, I'm going to watch a movie where monkeys ride horses and dual-wield machine guns.

Danganronpa Review

The Month of Misses continues onward, and now I finally get to talk about the Playstation Vita again! For those of you that have no idea what a Vita is... I don't blame you. The handheld has been selling abysmally in the U.S to the point where Sony is no longer developing first party content for the platform. Let's just get this perfectly straight. SONY, the company that created the Vita, is no longer supporting the Vita after it launched a mere two years ago. That's pretty bad in all honesty to just give up on your console after two years because of how poor its selling. So why is the Vita still relevant now even though it's a complete failure? Because developers are still making games for the console, and the games that are made are all very interesting, dynamic, and unlike any other game on the market. In short, they're making Trigger Happy Havoc, which is more commonly referred to as Danganronpa.

The Top 5 Best and Worst Movie Musicals

I love theatre. When I'm not doing review or playing games, chances are you wouldn't be able to find me because I would most likely be in a rehearsal. I've been a fan of theatre since I was a little kid, and I've acted in countless shows throughout my life. I've dabbled in classic musical theatre, contemporary works, original plays, Shakespeare, and everything in between. So for my life, I've been very passionate when it comes to supporting the arts and encouraging people to go see plays. By that same nature, I also try to convince people to go see movie musicals, which are adaptations of pre-existing musicals for the screen, or original musicals debuting through a movie. There's just something magical about seeing a show on the big screen with high production values and transitioning a show from the stage to the screen. It's taking a story and transmuting it to a completely different medium, and in that transfer so much can be gained from it! Then there are also shows that are catastrophically awful and turn what could have been a solid adaptation into an embarrassment. 

So that's what we're here to talk about today. Today, I'm counting down the 5 best movie musicals and the 5 worst movie musicals, because with the good must also come the bad. In order to make it onto this list, a movie musical must have the following 

• It must have at least 6 songs throughout the duration of the movie
• The movie must be over an hour long to constitute it as a movie and not a short film. It has to be something I can sit down in a movie theatre to watch.
• It has to be a musical, or a story that is told through singing and/or dancing. The plot must be conveyed through the music shown on screen. 

With all of that technical jargon out of the way, let's start our list off with the 5 worst movie musicals so we can end this on a happy note. Let's get critical!

Snowpiercer Review

2014 so far has been very underwhelming in terms of good releases. Whenever a promising title is released, I get hopeful that maybe, just maybe, that it might be a good film. So far, this year has been a wasteland of bad movies, with nary a good one in sight. After Earth To Echo, I sincerely considered just throwing my hands up in the air and wait until Guardians of the Galaxy is released; a movie that I know is going to be good and at the very least entertaining. I'm just starving for something good to watch and not just mindless junk. 

And then I saw Snowpiercer.

Kirby Triple Deluxe Review

Welcome back to my Month of Misses! This week, we're going to take a look at a game that I didn't get around to reviewing that I wanted to play for quite some time now. Ladies, and gentlemen, KIRBY!!!

Earth To Echo Review

You know, my summer vacation is going along pretty nicely. The past two weeks have been pretty low key for me and I've just been off doing whatever I want. I've been playing a lot of Skies of Arcadia recently, which is an RPG you should definitely play. Yeah it may not be as well known as other RPG's, but it has some great combat and a fun world to explore. Also, you can be a sky pirate in it! Sky! Pirate! And when I haven't been playing that, I've either been at work having a good time, or just going for a nice swim. It's been pretty stress free for me in all honestly.

I would mention Earth To Echo in there somewhere, but I didn't feel that it's worth mentioning at all.

The Monuments Men Review

Welcome to The Month of Misses, where I'm going to spend all of July reviewing some games and movies that I missed out on over the past six months! Some of them are good, some are bad, and some of them are right down the middle. And while we're at it, Happy Fourth of July everyone! Today is a day to celebrate America's independence from Great Britain and to celebrate everything that America has done since. So since we have a big holiday today as well as a historical movie to review, that means it's timely! Even though the movie came out in the beginning of February... Well I'm calling it timely, so it counts!

Best Spring Anime of 2014

Spring has come and gone, and with it we have a look back at all of the shows I had watched over the past three months. Usually the spring season has some of the best anime released during the year, like last year's big spring title being Attack on Titan. This year, we didn't really have as many great series and we actually had a much weaker spring than usual. In fact, I started out this season with six shows, but now I only have three shows to talk about. I dropped most of those shows after a few episodes because they bored me to tears. I couldn't even finish three episodes they were that boring. These three titles though are not boring in the slightest. In fact, dare I say, all three of these titles are phenomenal. Like, 5 of out 5 good. So let's get started.

The Seasonal Order: Summer 2014

Hey everyone! It's that time of the year again! Time to talk about the current state of The Critical Order, projects I have in the works, and what I will be reviewing over the next several months! More information after the cutoff!

Shovel Knight Review

Say what will you will about Kickstarter, but the undeniable fact is that it allows gamers to fund the games that they want to see made. No more being forced to watch AAA developers churn out sequel after sequel with no original ideas behind them. Now, any company can pitch a game, show some footage from it, and have the gamers themselves pay for the development. Sometimes developers can be very shady and turn Kickstarter into a scam, but more often than naught, legitimate developers use the platform to help fund games that normally couldn't be funded. Shovel Knight is such an example.

And it kicks ass.

How To Train Your Dragon 2 Review

Dreamworks and I have had an interesting relationship over the past few years. I've never really paid that much attention to them and in return, Dreamworks has never done anything to merit my attention. I know that there are people who really do enjoy Dreamworks movies, but I'm just not one of them. Their style usually revolves around making modern references where they don't belong and making movies that just don't sound appealing to me. When I heard they were doing The Croods last year, I couldn't even muster up a "meh" in acknowledgment. That's how little I care about Dreamworks. That may have to change soon after seeing How To Train Your Dragon 2.

Mario Kart 8 Review

If you've noticed. it's been over two weeks since Mario Kart 8 has come out. Now you may be asking yourself why this review is coming in so late, and the answer is simple. Not only was I busy taking care of E3 news and I couldn't get it out in time, but I wanted to be sure that I had fully completed the game. Over the course of two weeks, I have gotten gold on every single Mirror course AND completed a 32 course circuit in the game. There's a lot of content to this game, and I loved every second of it.

E3 2014: Nintendo Edition

With the last conference finally done, we now have Nintendo's line up for the near future. Is it all it's cracked up to be, or will the Wii U struggle again this year?

E3 2014: Sony Edition

Okay we've got a lot to talk about in this press conference, so let's not waste any time. Sony brought the games, and man were there a lot of them.

E3 2014: Ubisoft Edition

Two down, three to go, it's time we talked about the Ubisoft press conference today. Did it deliver, or was it more of the same? Well it was a little of both, as is often the case, but I never really got invested in what was shown.

E3 2014: EA Edition

Our E3 2014 coverage continues with EA, not necessarily the most popular of companies, but it can't be denied that their games sell and are highly anticipated, but how did E3 shape up for them this year?

E3 2014: Microsoft Edition

Hello and welcome to the E3 Roundup of each press conference today, starting off with the Microsoft Press Conference. After last E3, Microsoft was publicly humiliated by Sony for their Xbox One policies. To say that they're still reeling from what happened last year is an understatement. They had a lot to prove at E3 this year, and more or less, they pulled it off.

The Fault in Our Stars Review

Let it never been said that I don't venture out into unexplored territories. Me and the whole "Teen novel adaptation" craze have had our ups and downs. I really enjoyed Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters and I respect The Hunger Games for at least being a very well handled series with a solid plot. And then we have my experiences with the Twilight franchise and how that alone can color my perceptions on the whole sub genre. In my eyes, most teen novels that get made into movies feature an unusual element of fiction inside of them, like vampires, witches, aliens, etc, and links that with a romance plot in order to tell a story that teenage girls would find captivating, but make their book stand out against all the other books. Read my teen romance novel because it has aliens in it! But here, we have a very realistic (by Hollywood standards), adaptation of the popular teen romance novel, The Fault in Our Stars, and we get to see first hand if it's another Twilight or not.

A Million Ways to Die in the West Review

When it comes to Seth MacFarlane, people tend to have a very divided opinion of him and his works like Family Guy and American Dad. Some people think that he's able to poke fun at any situation and inject humor and satire into nearly any situation regardless of how difficult it is. Others view him as being all cut away gags and that his only jokes are making references to other things with a modern perspective and failing at it. I personally think that Seth MacFarlane is very hit and miss with his humor and he seems to push the boundaries a bit too far in some instances, but when his jokes hit, man do they hit. His last feature film Ted was a huge success both critically and commercially, justifyingly so, and while his latest movie A Million Ways to Die in the West isn't as good, it's still pretty damned good and one of the best comedies of the year so far.

Maleficent Review

If you were to ask me what the best Disney villain of all time was, I would undeniably point to Maleficent, the evil fairy from Sleeping Beauty as the worst of the worst, and I'm sure many others would agree to that. She's evil for the sake of evil and doomed an innocent child to an eternal rest just because she didn't get invited to a party. That's pretty evil. So when I heard about Maleficent, a movie based on her, was being made, I was hyped. Granted it wasn't an astronomical level of hype, but it was solid expectation that we would get a fascinating look into the mindset of one of film's greatest villains. So when the movie came out and I sat in my chair, I was expecting a movie that would redefine and strengthen my respect for Maleficent and her actions, and I did get a movie that painted her into a much more understandable and justified character, but simultaneously ruining the character of Maleficent herself. Yeah this is going to be a complicated one. 

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart 7

And now we've reached the end of our little retrospective. 7 games over the course of a little over a month, all leading up to Mario Kart 8's release in two days. And now, we close out this little retrospective with Mario Kart 7, a game that tries to mix the best elements of the series together to mixed results. I think. It's complicated.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart Wii

Surprisingly enough, this is the one entry in the series that I'm least familiar with. I was always aware of the game and I have played it, but this is the last Mario Kart game that I actually bought. Does that mean I don't like it? No, not really, but it is lacking something that I can't quite put my finger on.

Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return Review

I feel that it is completely necessary to preface this review with a little tidbit. If you are shy or are uncomfortable with copious amounts of cursing, you should probably avoid this review. I make no guarantees that I won't curse given the quality of today's movie. Also, I if I do get... angry in the middle of this review, I apologize. I just want to make sure everyone is prepared for what's about to happen. Never before has it been so justifiable for me to curse and rage ever so freely about a movie. Let's get right down to business then. Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return is bad. Hell, I think it's awful. It's a waste of time and a waste of money, and I feel that so much effort and talent was wasted on this sorry excuse for a movie. And that's me being polite. Hence the preface.

Chef Review

You know what it's been a while since I've had? Alaskan King Crab. I just want you to imagine this for a moment. You're sitting on the deck of a restaurant on the beach. It's sunset, and the waves are crashing against the shores with the salty wind blowing through your hair. Suddenly, your waiter appears and gives you a 2 pound Alaskan King Crab with a side of butter. You take the claw of the crab, rip it open, and find the plumpest piece of crab meat you've ever seen in your life. It's as thick as your index and middle finger together. You dip it in the butter, place it gently on your tongue, and let the flavors hit you like a train. A sense of divinity rushes through your body as you embrace the food in your mouth. If you are hungry after listening to that, then you'll like Chef.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart DS

I remember back on Christmas of 2005 when I first got my DS. I got it with a copy of Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time, Mega Man Battle Network 5: Double Team DS, and of course, Mario Kart DS. I played through all five games and loved each other them, but the one game that I still bring out every now and then to play through has to be the big MK. Or MKDS because of brand confusion... this is Mario Kart DS.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart Double Dash!!

So this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but I'm never shy of saying unpopular things. I don't like Mario Kart: Double Dash!! that much. In fact, I'd say that it's probably my least favorite game in the series, Super Circuit not withstanding. I know that's not the most popular opinion, but I have my reasoning! Trust me I do!

Neighbors Review

Well... this is a surprise. I don't think that anyone was betting that this movie would get $51.1 million in its opening weekend. Like, no one at all. There was even less of a chance of it to dethrone The Amazing Spider-Man 2 after only one week in the U.S. Just, let that sink in for a bit. A multi-million dollar blockbuster that was completely funded by a major global corporation that was released around the world... has lost to a small budget comedy about frats and family. We live in a strange world. What's even stranger is that, I'm kind of thankful for it.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart Super Circuit

When Nintendo had their Mario Kart 8 Nintendo Direct on April 30th, they had a little retrospective feature outlining each entry in the franchise. It wasn't in as much detail as we are doing now, but it was a little buffer to fill the space between announcements. Oddly enough though, they left out Mario Kart: Super Circuit from their retrospective. It was a smaller entry in the franchise granted, but it was still an entry and one in a series that doesn't have that many installments. Then I remembered "Oh yeah! The game kind of sucked!", and everything explained itself.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Review

Well, here it is. The big one. The one movie I have been dreading for a multitude of reasons. It's critically divisive to the point where people will argue over the quality of the movie at a drop of a hat. A movie that has so much expectation behind it that it will either be great or a massive failure. A movie that has comic book fans all fighting each other over how Peter Parker and Spider-Man should be interpreted in movies. So many factors are going into this review that this was the first time I had to do extensive research and thought pondering before I even saw the movie. I watched ALL of the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies, and the first Amazing Spider-Man movie just to get ready for this. Strap yourselves in, cause it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Transcendence Review

Ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh......... 2014 so far has no been a great year for movies. There have been far more crappier movies released this year than good movies, and it's to the point where I'm severely doubting if any upcoming movies are going to be good. I'm looking forward to Maleficent, but given the pace this year is going, I'm fully expecting it to be disappointing. Is that right? Of course not. I want to go into a movie fully expecting it to be great and blow me away, but so many movies have just been so bad that it's wearing down my resistances. Take in point, Transcendence, or in other words, the movie that nearly broke me. Nearly.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Mario Kart 64

Now this is what I'm talking about! When most people think of Mario Kart, this is usually the game that comes to people's minds. It's the most basic, most distilled Mario Kart of the bunch, but goddamn it, it's just a shit ton of fun! Needless to say, I think that Mario Kart 64 is a good game, but it does have a few problems with it that stop it from being my favorite.

The Mario Kart Retrospective: Super Mario Kart

On every console since the Super NES, or SNES, one franchise has dominated the multiplayer scene for every Nintendo console. Since you clicked on the title of this article, you know that I have to be talking about Mario Kart. Mario Kart has almost always been a successful franchise that is one of the few franchises that you can make a legitimate case for not having a single bad game in its history. And for the next month leading up to the release of Mario Kart 8, I'm going to be looking at EVERY Mario Kart since 1992. This is going to be a much more personal outlook on each game, so there's not going to be a score at the end of each game. Instead, it's just going to be me ranting and raving about each game. So without further adieu, here is the Mario Kart Retrospective!

Nymphomaniac Vol. II Review

Previously on Nymphomaniac...

Sex

...and now the thrilling conclusion.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier Review

I've had a strenuous relationship with the Marvel Cinematic Universe for quite some time. I've never seen any of the First Phase movies like Iron Man, Thor, or Captain America, so I went into The Avengers blind. I loved that movie and I still hail it as being one of the best definitions of an action blockbuster and it convinced me to follow the Phase Two movies when they were released. I saw Iron Man 3 and hated it. I hated it so much that I flat out skipped Thor: The Dark World just because the content didn't interest me in and I was too burned by Iron Man 3 to even care. But now we have Captain America: The Winter Soldier, a movie that redeems my faith in the Phase Two movies if not solely because of the world building in here.

Best Winter Anime of 2014

For those of you who are unaware, I like to watch anime in my spare time. While I do keep up with some TV shows (Hannibal FTW!), I mostly am relegated to watching shows online and streaming them. That being said, while I could stream shows like Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead, I'm much more inclined to watch anime. Anime is a weird beast in terms of television, since there are few shows that have legitimate seasons. Most likely, an anime would get only one season of 12-13 episodes and that would constitute its run. Some shows expand their run to twice that, and even fewer shows have multiple seasons and arcs. Anime is very condensed and each show will usually run for 3 months before ending. It's with that in mind that we take a look at the best and worst anime of this past winter that I have watched. Even if you don't watch anime and don't "get it", it's still fine to read it and see if anything would motivate you to taking a look at something that you normally wouldn't see. I've seen five anime this winter, and we're going to talk about them all!

The Seasonal Order: Spring 2014

Well, spring is in the air! The sun is out, winter is over, and it's time to focus on the flowers and the brighter things in life. Work is winding down and summer is just around the corner, so it's time to relax, unwind, and enjoy some good movies and games! As always, here's the general order of what I MOST LIKELY, not will most definitely, see and do in the next three months.

Top 10 Worst Pokemon

I may have said how some Pokemon can have brilliant designs to them, but there are also a significant amount that just look plain awful, and I mean AWFUL. When creating this list, I had to whittle it down from a Top 20 list, and that's saying quite a lot. But why are there more Pokemon designs that I hate than I like? I think it mostly has to do with expectations. When you come across a Pokemon that looks cool or cute, it's meaningful and gives you that incentive of catching it. When you come across an awful Pokemon, you either feel forced to capture them out of pure spite to finish your Pokedex, or you feel that your team does not deserve to have these Pokemon on it. The Pokemon I chose for my list are the balance sheet Pokemon, the ones that you are forced to catch just to fill out your dex and never use them again. So without further adieu, here are my Top 10 Worst Pokemon as of right now.

South Park: The Stick of Truth Review

In order to fully like South Park: The Stick of Truth, one should at least be somewhat familiar with what South Park is. If you don't know what South Park is, then just go watch one of the hundreds of stellar episodes that are available. No seriously, just watch a single one and come back......... okay! So, if you thought that episode was good, then Stick of Truth is exactly that, but only in video game form. To say that Stick of Truth is a season of South Park in video game form is no understatement, and it's pretty damned special in that regard, albeit with a few kinks in it.

The Grand Budapest Hotel Review

The one thing that I'm trying to do this year more so than last year is to branch out and see films I normally wouldn't see. More often than naught, I usually stick with what I know I'm going to like and, generally speaking, I'm pretty satisfied with what I see. But this year, I want to strive out and see movies that I generally wouldn't see. I saw Nymphomaniac Vol. 1, and I'm going to be seeing The Purge: Anarchy when it comes out provided my schedule isn't booked. So adding onto the list of "Movies I'd Never See" is The Grand Budapest Hotel, a W.S Anderson movie that has been getting glowing reviews since it had a limited release in the beginning of March. It finally had a wide release this weekend, so I gave it a look see.

The Walking Dead Season 2: A House Divided Review

Trying to review The Walking Dead Season 2 is a tricky beast. Due to the nature of episodic releases, the game is coming out in five episodes spread out over a year long gap. In that gap, a question becomes apparent on how I can review the game. Should I review the entire season when it's all completed, or should I review each episode when it comes out? Back in December, I had no idea what I should do, so I didn't review the first episode of Season 2, All That Remains. Looking back on it, I feel like that I should do episodic reviews to convince people why they need to be playing The Walking Dead Season 2, despite the quality issues between each episode. I thought the first episode had some solid setup, but does A House Divided give the payoff we're looking for?

Nymphomaniac Vol. 1 Review

I don't really have an anticipated films list honestly. Usually, I start to get excited for a film about a week or two before its released, when the commercials, ads, reviews, and previews begin to flock the internet, my TV, and whenever I see other movies. That being said, I do have a short list of movies that I am looking forward to in 2014 (and by short I mean I can fit them onto one hand), and one of them is Nymphomaniac. Nymphomaniac is unique in the case that the movie has been split into two parts and are being released only a month apart instead of a year or so. While it sucks that I can't just watch the full movie in one go, I realized that Nymphomaniac is four hours long, so trying to get through it in one go would be a taxing effort. It would be even more taxing though if I knew in advance just what kind of a movie I was getting into.

Top 10 Favorite Pokemon

Everyone loves Pokemon! I love Pokemon, you love Pokemon, the whole world loves Pokemon. I've been on a bit of a Pokemon binge this last year, essentially playing every game in the series over the course of last year. I started with Gold, went to Sapphire, then to Red, Pearl, Y, and finally White. I've seen all sorts of Pokemon, and I've caught a fair amount of them. I've done Nuzlockes, I've done play-throughs, and I've mastered essentially every gen. So now the question has arisen; what are my favorite Pokemon? So it's time for a top 10 list! This is a strictly personal list of what Pokemon I would choose in a heartbeat, regardless of skill, strength, or appearance. These are just the ten Pokemon that have a soft place in my heart. Oh, and my list has zero first gen Pokemon. I just don't like them enough to have them merit a spot on my list. So that being said, here are my Top 10 Favorite Pokemon!

Oscars 2013, or how the Academy was actually right for a change

So this is a break in the norm for me. I'm not really doing any review. I'm actually just going over the cataclysmic, world changing events of last night's Academy Awards. So.... yeah I don't really have much to say. I guess I can start off that more often than last year, I was almost in complete agreement for most of the awards last night. Last year I was very split with how Life of Pi won a ton of awards, Django Unchained should have won more awards than it did, and Argo pulled a Best Picture win out of its ass. This year was a lot more fair and had the most deserving movie win. So here are the most memorable things to talk about for last night, for better or worse.

One Piece: Romance Dawn Review

One Piece is a series that I'm sure most people have heard of, but aren't aware of how popular it really is. One Piece is a manga and anime series that, as of right now, has sold the highest number of manga volumes in existence and has been in publication since 1998. To say that One Piece is a monster of a franchise is a complete understatement. And yet, most Westerners have no idea what One Piece even is. I mean, it's popular, but not to the cataclysmic extent as it is in Japan. It's even worse for video games. Since the release of One Piece: Unlimited Adventure in 2008, the series has had barely any games released in North America. If a One Piece game was released, it was usually only a digital only release that wasn't well marketed. The same applies for One Piece: Romance Dawn, except for the fact that the game actually had a physical release in an insanely limited run. Only 16,800 physical copies of the game exist, so it has to be good if it's so rare, right?

Winter's Tale Review

As of now, my most popular review was my Top 10 Worst Movies of 2013, and I can understand why that's the case. We're really fascinated with the idea of something bad existing. It makes you appreciate all of the good movies, games, or even music even more. My list last year included a variety of different kinds of bad, like boring bad, annoying bad, insultingly bad, and disappointing bad. One kind of bad that I failed to mention on that list was the complete fail kind of bad. The bad that does nothing right and just falls flat on its face in the first five minutes. Birdemic 2: The Resurrection was self aware badness, but Winter's Tale is a complete and utter failure of a movie. It sucks in every regard and has little to no redeeming values except for one thing: this movie is absolutely hilarious. 

Justice League: War Review

We live in an age where comic books have become a primary source for big summer blockbusters. Whether it’s Avengers, Man of Steel, or X-Men: Days of Future Past, we live in a world where if you’re based on a comic property, chances are you’re going to make an insane amount of money. What some people don’t know though is that while live action comic book movies are a huge hit almost 90% of the time, animated comic book movies… aren't that big of a hit. Barely anyone knows that they exist, and most people don’t particularly care about them unless you’re a die hard comic book fan. Enter Justice League: War, a movie that is trying to start a shared universe between all DC animated movies. I say try, because the result aren't really too promising.

Murder For Two Review

You know what I miss? Good old Vaudeville style shows. As we progress further and further into the 21st century, it's becoming more and more apparent that Broadway shows are going to be all style with very little substance. Looking at most of the big name Broadway shows that have sprung up in the last decade or so and while you will find shows that do have an emotional core and are legitimately good, they're quickly swept away to make room for what I call "Standard Broadway". A "Standard Broadway" show is a show that's a bid musical, has lots of dancing, may have a celebrity or two that the audience will cheer and yell at, or was made by an influential person, win tons of awards... yet immediately after seeing it, I can't remember a single thing about the show. No impact, no importance. It's just forgettable and gives a thrill for just that short time. It's only more off-Broadway stuff, or those few odd shows, that really make me excited and remind me of just what Broadway is capable of. In others words, you have to look for those risky shows to get the most enjoyment out of Broadway.

The Lego Movie Review

And with the release of The Lego Movie, my long two week break is over! I'm now fully recharged and ready to take what 2014 has to offer! And first up, we have a movie that I've actually been looking forward to, The Lego Movie. Legos have pretty much been around for over 30 years, so chances are you've probably played with Legos at some points in your life. I stopped playing with Legos when I was around 10 or 11, but I still have a soft spot for the little bricks. When this movie was announced, I was optimistic that it was going to be a fun, enjoyable family film that would just be a solid film. As I started to see more trailers though, I started to get a bit skeptical about the audience that the movie was trying to reach, often touting a terrible and wretched song ironically titled "Everything is Awesome" that made me worry that the movie would pander down to the lowest possible audience and be another dumb kids movie. What we get is... interesting to say the least.

Rayman Legends Review

Alright, here it is. The last thing I have to review before I can officially close 2013. No more. Done. I can actually get a bit of a break from reviews for a few weeks. But in retrospect, I'm kind of happy that Rayman Legends is the last thing of 2013 I'm reviewing. In a nutshell, this game pretty much sums up what 2013 was all about. Hype and expectation, riddled with controversy, but overall was a really good product. What do I mean by all of that? Well when it was first announced, Legends was going to be a Wii U exclusive game. It was originally going to be released in February, but was pushed back by seven months in order to make ports for other consoles, because Ubisoft didn't think that being a Wii U exclusive would justify the cost of production. Fans raged about having to wait over half a year to play it, made even worse by the fact it was releasing against Grand Theft Auto V, also known as a game you NEVER RELEASE ANYTHING AGAINST. It didn't sell a lot, but it was still a fabulous game for those who were patient enough to wait.

Mario Party Island Tour Review

For years, Mario Party has been a sacred tradition for many gamers. In the beginning, there was the original Mario Party. It was a game that destroyed friendships. It was a game that left those with the strongest of wills a weak shell of what they were. It was a game that physically hurt people. Since its inception in 1999, it has been a yearly tradition to release a new Mario Party game. Some of them were quite good, like Mario Party 2, 3, and 7, while others were regarded as terrible games. But in 2008, the series vanished off the face of the Earth. No one knew whether it would return or not, and were instead content with the memories of previous games. That is until 2012, when the false prophet appeared...Mario Party 9. It was called a Mario Party, but it had none of the soul of the original games. It was a travesty, and now more than ever, people claimed the series was dead and gone forever. Until last November... with the release of Island Tour. Join me, and I take a trip on the dreaded Island Tour. 

The Legend of Zelda: Link Between World Review

As some of you are aware, I like this game. I really, really like this game. As a matter of fact, I gave it my number 5 spot on my best games of 2013 list (which you should totally still read). So that begs the question; why am I reviewing this game if I've already said that this is a good game? Well, to make a long story short, it's very rare to see the evolution of a franchise, and I have a strong feeling that more Zelda games are going to be similar to Link Between Worlds, and that's not a bad thing in the slightest.

The Top 10 Best Movies of 2013

And here it is. 2013's best movies. I've seen more movies than ever before this year, clocking in at a grand total of 32 movies. That's pretty much a movie every two weeks, and after going up and down with the quality of films this year, here are the ten best films of the year. It was actually fairly easy to pick my ten favorite movies, because there really only were ten great movies that came out. That's not to say they were bad movies by any means. It was actually really damned difficult to even rank these movies, because each of them was so damned good. There was a point where any movie really was in contention to be in my top 3 favorite movies, so it was painful at times to put a movie I really liked low on the list. As always, if you see a movie on this list that you like, great! If your favorite movie isn't on here, no need to despair. I probably just haven't seen the movie, or it belonged on a much less desirable list. So without further ado, here are my Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2013!

Top 5 Best Games of 2013

I think it's a well documented fact that I love video games. I know that most of my views come from my movie reviews, but video games are my bread and butter. I've loved them since I was a kid, and I'll probably love them until the day I die. That being said, 2013 was an interesting year for games. You had the launch of not one, but two consoles, and even had the third console, the Wii U, begin to pick up steam. As would be expected for a transitional year like this, the games that were released were good, but not quite as good as previous years. There was a lot of empty space this year and made it pretty difficult to pick 10 games that I could call "the best of the year". So instead, a Top 5 would work just fine for this year. As always, my opinion may differ from yours and you're entitled to whatever opinion you want. My favorite games will not be everyone's favorite games, but respect should still be paid. So here are my personal Top 5 Best Games of 2013!

The Top 10 Worst Movies of 2013

2013 was a weird year for movies. Here you have a year that gave us countless movies that have had audiences split down the middle about whether they liked it or not. Man of Steel, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Iron Man 3, and a lot of other movies are just the tip of the iceberg. Hell, even The Wolf of Wall Street is leaving people split on whether they liked it or not. So when making a worst movies of 2013 list, not one list is going to be the same, which I find really interesting. Each list is its own beast and reflects on a person's tastes, and when you have a year with so many movies that have the potential to leave audiences disappointed, there's no limit as to what movies could be in the Top 10. Hell, I've seen lists where Man of Steel and American Hustle can be called "the worst movies of 2013". So the long and short of it is, my list is my own opinion. If you agree with some entries, more power to you. If not, that's perfectly fine. Enjoy the movies that you like, but understand why I would call it a bad movie. My only rule for being on this list is making it a movie that I've seen that was released this year.

Best Broadway Show of 2013

Well, 2013 has come and gone, so being a yearly tradition now, I'm going to give my take on 2013 as a whole! Specifically, let's talk about 2013 for Broadway. How can it be summed up? In my general opinion, 2013 was not a good year for Broadway. I usually see around 5-7 Broadway shows a year, and if I'm really lucky closer to 8-9, so this year  saw a whopping 7 shows; 2 off Broadway and 5 on Broadway. And then it hit me; I was enjoying the off Broadway shows a hell of a lot more than I was for actual Broadway shows. There was a lot more experimentation and even standout shows than what was done on Broadway, which instead released shows that played it safe in the most generic, banal way possible. So I decided that instead of doing a Top 5 Broadway Shows of 2013, I would instead talk about the best show of the year...

The Seasonal Orders: Winter 2014

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

So as always, I just wanted to give a little update for the next three months and what's in store for the blog amongst several other things about the blog. So let's not dabble any further and just get right down to the knitty gritty!